With the recent break up with my ex, I realized I needed to figure out what I want in a man. Now, I realize that what I want is not always necessarily what I need. So I tried to list some ideas out here.
I'm not really looking into anyone either. I just figured my life would be easier with the next boy if I had a list of what I want/need.
1. I WANT a man that can make me laugh.
(In reality, I need one that can bring me down from a bad temper and/or sad times)
2. I WANT a man that is prettyful.
(He doesn't really need to be prettyful. Just decent looking so I don't get shit from my parents)
3. I WANT a man that is/will be successful and can cater to my VERY LITTLE NEEDS.
(I need a man that I can look up to and strive to either beat or be at the same level with. If we're gonna get married, we're both gonna need jobs that pay more than minimum wage!)
4. I WANT a man who can physically please me.
(I need a man who's cuddly and...*wink wink*)
5. I WANT a man who wouldn't mind going to random places with me...
(I need a man that doesn't mind just spending time with me, even if we're doing something with no point, or absolutely nothing.)
6. I WANT a man who can take care of himself.
(I need a man who can take care of himself. I don't want to babysit anymore)
7. I WANT a man who can have fun.
(I need fun in life too...)
8. I WANT a man who is financially independent of his parents.
(This is also a need. It shows that you're mature enough not to always rely on your parents.)
9. I WANT a man who is independent.
(See number 6)
10. I WANT a gentleman.
(I need him to be respectable out in public so people don't make fun of me :p)
11. I WANT a man who is a man and not a boy.
(I need this. See number 6)
12. I WANT man who can handle me.
(I need a man to be able to tell me when enough is enough and NOT be whipped. Stand up to me with I throw bitch fits! Are you up to the challenge?)
13. I WANT a man who isn't afraid to show me the world.
(I need someone who can open my eyes to things I am oblivious to)
14. I WANT a man who trusts me.
(I need someone who won't question my every move and all my friends)
15. I WANT a man I can trust.
(I don't need the drama. I don't need any shadiness. Fuck that!)
16. I WANT a man who will keep me focused at what's important.
(I need a man who can realize when he's dragging me down instead of helping me up)
17. I WANT a man who is a kid at heart.
(I need a man who will know when it's the appropriate time to act like a child and when not to)
18. I WANT a man who will be able to get along with my parents.
(I need a man who can respect family values)
19. I WANT a man who has good morals and principles.
(I need a man who knows the difference between making an easy decision vs. the RIGHT decision)
20. I WANT a man who will see me for me and accept it.
(I need a man who will love me for all my flaws)
Are these things too much to ask for??
True
Comments (63)
Hmmm I think we all want that in a man. I don't know if I see ALL those right away in a man, but maybe if u stick with him for a while all those qualities will come out. But I don't think that's too much to ask for. We jst forget to be patient sometimes!
i didn't make it through the list. but yay for the famke janssen picture.
Now ask yourself if you qualify for the same listed things replacing man with woman. Not everyone has to be perfect.
@pasaway4eva@xanga - Yeah it takes awhile to look at all those qualities in a person.
I would say you're expectations are a little too high... would you be happy if you knew the next guy you liked had a big list of things he expected of you? (without having even met you?)
@AznFier@xanga - agreed!
That's a pretty long list.... I think it's asking for a bit too much, just because you have so many different things.
It just seems a bit too picky.
Relationships are about work, and compromise.
@silvermoon_lauwa@xanga - It's not too high, it exists. I had to wait 21 years for my current relationship, but it was well worth the wait and not settling for less than I want. It exists if you're patient and don't feel the need to be in just ANY relationship because you don't want to be alone. It just takes time, never lower expectations just to make the search easier, or else you won't be truly satisfied.
Good luck finding that.
So do you want one guy or 20 of them? Because I am pretty sure you can't get all of that in one person without some serious science-related mutations or maybe some voodoo magic...
Regardless of what others are saying, it isn't too high. These are all very normal things to want in a relationship, and most times people never find it because they settle for second best because they are too damn impatient. Never settle for less than you desire. It exists, but you have to be willing to wait it out, and continue to work on yourself in the meantime. My boyfriend is all of these things, but I passed up a lot of dating opportunities for the one I knew I'd be happy with. It took 21 years to have this first relationship, but it's strong, and built on many of the things I value and WANT in a person. It's an incredible feeling, don't give up. ♥
@LonerB@xanga - My boyfriend is. They exist, but are rare.
@presque_la@xanga - As they say, in the eye of the beholder. I am happy that you found yours though.
@presque_la@xanga - There's having expectations, and then there's writing down a long list of what you expect from one person. To me it's extreme... I know what I like, and what I don't like, but I wouldn't rule people out just because they fall short of my "little expectation tick list". Nobody is perfect.
@silvermoon_lauwa@xanga - Hmm, yeah.. I wouldn't literally have a "list" because that is a little extreme, but it regards to what you want in a person.. it would make sense to stick to those wants! Just because someone falls short on one item on the list doesn't mean they shouldn't get a chance, so I see your point about how it's too extreme.
@presque_la@xanga - :)
But off the topic, glad you found someone who fits all of your expectations
It sounds like you want a man... or, an Alpha male better said. We exist.
..lame.
I had a list. I learned that lists are nice guides but not necessary to finding a perfect mate for you. (Not perfect, mind you, but just right for you.) There were some things on it that were musts (very basic stuff, like "Not Abusive.") The rest were just preferences, wants, to help me avoid dating someone who was a terrible match like the person I had been with before I wrote the list. Seems like your reasons are similar.
I learned that you can't expect someone to be perfect (like occasionally a guy is probably going to innapropriately act like a kid, just like most of us females, if at best very rarely, will with the wrong trigger act or feel a bit immature around our males). Even the best of guys won't always get it right, especially when it comes to "quirks" like bitch fits.
My husband is a wonderful man. I looked at my list when we started having feelings for each other and decided right away that I would deeply regret missing out on being with him if I rejected him. I have never regretted my decision. I don't know if I ever told him there were a few items on my list that didn't apply to him. I figure it doesn't matter anymore. I'm very happy to be with him.
lol i had sort of a list but it left a wider margin. i still wanted to have an open mind! however, i forgot about my little "list" and was dating my current bf for about a year before i stumbled over it again - needless to say he's perfectly qualified.
I want a man.
I disagree with everyone. I don't think it's too big a list to find. Most of the stuff on here is given. If a guy isn't independent and lives with his parents then he's got to go. You deserve to be pleased but I think guys who can't meet most of these criteria are just bitches. Although you may change your mind about a man who isn't whipped when you find one.
Or better yet, what can you offer on the table?
Wow... this man here sounds pretty fantastic... I mean, when you find him, let me know so i can take note from him! because hoenstly, he seems pretty damn perfect. weather or not this man exists, which i'm sure he does somewhere, it sounds like quite the fairy tale life to live. Strong but not stubborn.. good looking... rich.. smart, funny, good morals, personable... etc etc etc... the problem is, is that, he has no more growing to do. He has arived... and from the sounds of it, if you're with him, then he would end up babysitting you! No, i'm not saying you're a baby, but if he's busy going random places with you, making sure you laugh, making sure your family likes him, and making sure he's bringing home a nice prime piece of bacon.... then really, for one, how ISN'T this guy whipped, and in what way does he have any sort of individuality? Differences -- big and small, those aren't the ultimate enemy in relationships here. I mean, if the next guy you date only posesses 25% of those qualities, then yeah, you guys will probably have a pretty rocky relationship. But in the end, the people who tend to be the happiest are the people who worked the hardest. I realize you're not asking for mr. perfect... and i know i'm actually insinuating that you should lower yours standards... but honestly, if we're talking about the person you're willing to spend the rest of your life with, then yeah man! more power to you! be picky as all get out! However, i would suggest that you be ready and willing to be all of those same things to your guy ... because 1 sided effort in the relationship ends up being quite resentfull.
@silvermoon_lauwa@xanga - Agreed.
You might not get everything on this list, but all of his good qualities will pay for it. With time, you'll learn to live with and accept his flaws as you expect him to do so for you.