Monday, 10 August 2009
-
WYD Someone with Different Life Goals?
Would you date someone whose goals in life were completely different from your own? Say you wanted to have a big family and live in Small Town, USA while your SO wanted to travel around the world with their job for the duration of their life.
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: surferchick4990@xanga
- Name: Amy
- Location:
- About Me: "If you want something, go get it. Period." -The Pursuit of Happyness. I'm Amy, I'm 20, and I genuinely love life. Give me sunshine, warm weather, and my country music and I'm a happy girl. =)
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 6 Views: 0 9445 Comments: 0 323 View all posts by surferchick4990@xanga
Comments (30)
Hmmm... It won't necessarily be my reason to run the other way.
It would depend on much I love him and how much I see him as my future husband. I guess I would date him but if our views don't meet at one point or another, it probably wouldn't work out in the long run anyway.
I think dating someone like that is okay, but if it starts to get serious, you'd have to figure something out. One of those "do we stay, or do I go?" things. If there's no real way to compromise, then one person needs to figure out what they're willing to give up and what they're not.
But yeah, I'd date someone with different goals, because you never know...at worst, the relationship ends, and at best, you push each other out of your comfort zones and force each other to grow. Nothing life-threatening.
-Katie
Dating, sure, I guess, but of course marriage would be out of the question. I'm definitely the travel-and-work type.
How realizable are the goals? When I was 19 I wanted to do all kinds of stuff that's never happened. Sure, that was part of "me" when it came to dating too, and I wouldn't have much to do with people who weren't "on my plan," but when, to put it quite seriously, I GREW UP a bit, I got more realistic both about those goals and about relating to people with different ones.
dating =yes
marriage= no
you can date them, but it's really really hard, close to impossible to marry them
I would..for argument's sake :p
@S0N1@xanga - Agreed.
not for marriage.
My boyfriend and I definitely have different goals in life. We went into the relationship knowing that, because we were friends before hand. Those goals and dreams we have definitely define who we are/who we want to be and I completely respect and understand his decisions. We enjoy each other and if it were to so happen we're still together when some of those goals or dreams come true for either of us, we will support each other and come to a compromisable situation I'm sure.
If we can't find a situation then we may part ways.
Either way, I definitely say I can date someone with completely different goals.
He wants to move back to Japan, I just want to move a state away.
(:
Date, yes. Marry... that could be difficult.
It could be interesting to date them. They could put a new perspective on some things.
if you have to luxury of deciding on your first/second date, then hell no. it would create way too many problems in the future. that problem would spark other problems most likely and then all of a sudden you're fighting to keep the relationship going.
most of the time. it also depends on how willing the two are to compromise with one another.
me, personally, i couldn't do it. i know it wouldn't last.
i could date someone who did, but not marry them, unless we both were willing to find some ground in the middle.
i don't think a serious relationship could work.
I wouldn't aim for it but if it came out that way, I'd still date them regardless of their far-away life goals.
The scenario given sounds like an inevitable failure.
If the parties are willing to make it work, compromise, and sacrifice..then maybe. But it will be no easy task.
Date but not seriously, definitely not for marriage.
I would date someone like that, but marriage-wise, I don't think so. It would be too difficult. :(
No. A serious relationship between two people with completely different life goals wouldn't work, unless one of them was willing to give up theirs.
i don't know, friends maybe, but it would be really hard for me to not become too attached. and obviously it could never be too serious
I AM dating someone with different life goals, and now that it's getting to be a rather serious relationship, I'm worried.
In the past, when we talked about the future, it was always assuming we wouldn't be together (seems pessimistic, but it probably woulda scared me away) but very recently, we've been talking as if there's a bigger chance we'll end up together. And that's where the problem lies -- he wants to be a stay-at-home-dad. Not to play on gender stereotypes, but I want a husband who will at least ONE of the breadwinners, if not the main breadwinner.. I want a high-paying job, and I will definitely not be a stay-at-home-wife who depends on her husband.. but to have that role reversed? but to have my husband depend on me for money? For me to provide the sole income for our family?
I don't want that. And I really can't see any way to get past this. :\
dating is dating.
but if you're looking for a relationship, this kind of thing is probably what you'd want to avoid...
NO.
and why would you continue to date someone you have no intention of marrying? I never understood that because it's eventually going to end and someone, if not both, get hurt. I never understood how people could just date for fun. I guess that's the difference between each of us as individuals though. I wouldn't date someone unless I had intentions of a long-term relationship with them, where marriage would be a possibility in regards to similar goals, values, morals.
Dating sure, just because it's not marriage. Successful couples usually last with the same goal in mind.
Having this issue right now, actually. Been dating him for close to 3 years, and I'm starting to get the feeling we'll never find a compromise solid enough to base a marriage off of :(
Dating, if it is just that, is easy enough. If you plan on dating leading into marriage, though, then I'd say no it isn't a good idea.