Sunday, 09 August 2009
-
The Eleventh Commandment
He opens the church door for me and does a hilarious British impersonation, collapsing me into laughter and concluding a very pleasant first date......Until I look up and see my ex wearing a very confused and hurt look on his face. My date, who is the guy who notices nothing, runs over to say hello to his best friend.
Yeah. It's like that.
Over the years, I have stood by the rule "do not date your friend's exes" as if it were the Eleventh Commandment. It just gets too complicated; attractions, leftover feelings, jealousy, resentment, and the fact that this fellow and your friend has history... it gets awkward during that first kiss, when he starts doing the exact same annoying tongue thrust that your friend described so graphically in her rants.
But unwittingly, I have found myself in a love triangle. My ex and I did not have the cleanest break - okay, I was the one who broke up with him - and I cannot stand to hurt him again or ruin their friendship. One date wasn't anything too serious, but judging by the look on his face... it was enough.
What should I do? Do you believe in the Eleventh Commandment?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: adventist_pathfinder@xanga
- About Me: I'm an Aries.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 2 Views: 0 2274 Comments: 0 83 View all posts by adventist_pathfinder@xanga
Comments (31)
Hey, you could just break up with whichever guy you're with now and find someone who's right for you, or you could ask a bunch of people on Datingish who don't date what they think you should do.
no I'm atheist
Well, it's a good rule of thumb, but..you know what? unlike the other ten, it was NOT written in stone.
It's not in the bible, so no.
well i mean, who's counting? i guess it does hurt and shit. but *shrugs things just happens sometimes
If you don't want to hurt your ex, then don't do it.
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - hey! you're back! :D
@testubebaby@xanga - Ha!
Well, you can't stop your heart from loving someone...
If my friend was over him and was okay with it & I liked him a lot, then I would go ahead with it. I don't see anything wrong with it.
I don't know what you should do. But I have to say...if a friend of mine followed the 11th commandment, we'd still be friends. And our group of friends might have grown on a little longer.
Hm... never been in that situation... I usually don't talk to my ex's friends after a break up.
To the OP, did you know you were going out with your ex's friend? Sounds like you didn't at first or something.
That's why you should not remain friends with your exes.
i don't even believe the first ten.
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - too funny. i love your replies.
From personal experiences I have found that being friends with or dating your friend's ex can cause bad feelings, but I don't think it is an entirely bad thing. It helps weed out the not-so-good friends. If your friend is selfish enough that he doesn't want you to be happy, maybe he isn't that great of a friend. I have run into this situation several times and I have to say the only friend who was bothered by me being friends with his ex turned out to be a total douche anyway. My best friend is currently dating my ex and I have no issues with it whatsoever.
Yes there is an eleventh commandment, but I'm atheist about that one...and in general actually. Here's the concept: you are free on the market. So is he. The only real rift is between him and your current boyfriend/his best friend. You may get dragged into it, but it's not your fault.
You are not in a love triangle if you don't love your ex anymore; that's just narcissistic. You do have an ex-factor to deal with and your own emotions. It's not an entirely bad thing, but you're going to be walking on eggshells for a while because your ex can manipulate either one of you. In addition, you are potentially able to make massive rifts between your ex, you and your current boyfriend.
Why the hell are women scared to hurt their exes? It would solve a lot of fucking relationship problems if you could.
Yes. (I know someone who was in ur situation. and none of them are in speaking terms anymore)
Hmm, this is a toughie. It probably isn't one of the best ideas, but you can't help who you're attracted to or who you fall in love with. I guess I'd say that if you feel that strongly for them, just make sure the people affected are okay with it and no one's feelings get hurt.
Mm, look who's the celeb now! lol
@hiiiilaura@xanga - well I hope you dont eat shellfish, pork or you actually go to church on SATURDAY instead of SUNDAY if we're all taking the bible literally.
It isnt a commandment, but it should be common knowledge. If you date your friend's ex especially without talking to them about it, then you get no pitty when it ends horribly, no matter how horribly.
I mean if you didn't KNOW, its a different story and you shouldn't just break up with him. But if you both know then you're both assholes.
Friend's ex's and ex's friends should never be anything more.
I dated a friend's ex once. I also dated someone else who was a friend's ex, and an ex's friend. Did NOT work out. Either of them. But everyone's different. You can do what ever you want. My experiences have proven to me that it's not a good idea.
@erahslover@xanga - As if tat first part made sence ? I hope you tie your shoes on backwards and have an octopus as a wife. ;D
@hiiiilaura@xanga - lolllll. an octopuss wife could be interesting maybe hahahah. I only said that because in the bible those things i said are true. no shellfish, church on Saturday and no pork... but everybody ignores that part of the book.
@erahslover@xanga - Ohh. I thought you were making up mumbo jumbo. Theres a BIG church down the block and allllll weekend these people are parking in front of the house (big bugs the ef out of me) and yeah.