Miss Walrus
When I was younger, I had this (ridiculous) idea that my dream man would somehow magically appear out of thin air, parade into my life & resolve my life-long fear of being "the cat lady." I didn't really care about the details, I just had this
feeling that he'd show up, one day.
Well, now I'm an older (& more realistic) person. I don't know if it's just because the reality of graduating college & having to enter "the real world" is hitting me hard or what - but it feels like a lot of the magic I used to believe - particularly when it comes to love - has well, gone out the window.
Take this, for example: I used to suffer from severe social anxiety. If I could maintain a conversation (& eye contact) with you for more than 10 minutes, you were a shoe-in. I basically thought anyone I could actually connect with - & stand - for that long was a winner - & had definite "forever after" potential.
Now, I've spent the last four years working on my anxiety - & let's just say I can pretty much carry on a conversation with anyone - from the mailman to the cashier chick at McDonald's. And I definitely DON'T consider either of those people to have "the One" written all over them.
I've slowly started to believe that love is less about finding "the One" - & more about ACCEPTING & LOVING someone so much that they just..BECOME everything you want.
I now believe that you can pretty much find lots of things to connect with others about & being in a relationship with another person is simply about finding someone who you are willing to accept, love & cherish - regardless of their flaws. No one is going to come along & be perfect from the get-go. Instead, you just have to constantly remind yourself that they don't have to - & neither do you.
So basically what I'm saying is, I believe we can love anybody. I really & truly do. Maybe the love we feel for certain people will feel different - like a friendship kind of love - or maybe we'll even start to feel ourselves falling for someone we normally wouldn't (girl crush, anyone?). But either way, I think that this idea of our one-and-only-true-soulmate should be thrown out the window. Instead, I think we should just look around us for the people in our lives who make our hearts go pitter-patter & try to give them all the love we got - until one day we find someone we want to give our love to for as long as we live.
Do you think it's possible to love anyone?
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Comments (78)
Sure.
I definitely do. My bf and I are so incredibly different but we love eachother. I never thought I could love someone who I thought had so many flaws, flaws being differences, but now I see that he really is perfect for me. I literally see him as perfect.
Yes. But they have to have something already present that makes you feel warmth inside for them. For instance, the girl I love, is very beautiful, in a natural model kind of way.But aside from attraction, that is not what has kept me working so hard for so long to have her as my gf (its coming along!) but all that she has within. Ok, so this may be a hint different but still yes you can love ANYONE
well then good luck to you. I believe yes we can love anyone but we have our standards and preferences. So you can't really love just anyone. Yeah friendship, relationships and family. Love goes a long way. And means various deffinitions. But Everyone has someone out there for them. But the main thing is to love yourself.
Why do arranged marriages (with acceptions) work out? Because it is possible to love anyone.
I totally understand what you are saying, and with that kind of mentality you could really turn a lot of people and their shallow beliefs around.
Love is many things and one of them is effort. I don't think you can necessarily force yourself to love someone, but with any aspect of love, you have to try. Try stirring up conversation with your crush, spending as much time as possible with your SO, or working on your relationship with all your might because you love them enough to try so hard.
Hrm, interesting. I guess my prejudices and annoyances get in the way for me to fall in love with just anyone.
The twisted notion, the distorted myth...the lie.
That we can "love anyone" is now being pushed so as to excuse certain sinful "lifestyles" that are predominating now.
As your glib reference to a "girl crush" attests.
This would take humanity down an awfully slippery and destructive slope though.
There is meant to be a focus, there are parameters to, genuine, proper, real, true Love!
well said. So true I learned that too except from a professor at my college. Amazing.
@XoAsianBabioX@xanga - Yeh same here
I LOVE this post. ;) seriously. because I empathise so much with whaty ou're saying. I had serious social anxiety too. and I really think that the idea of 'the one' or a 'soulmate' is something that's...that's overrated. Real relationships take work and forgiveness and tolerance and fun to give you memories to get you through the hard times.
I sure as hell hope so. I'm ready to strangle the man whose babies I am carrying.
I think "anyone" is a bit of a stretch, but I believe that there are several guys out there that I could be happy with.
Oh, but I also think that there is a limit of flaws that a person can handle, or should handle, before they become a pushover.
@Dare2BDiferentt@xanga - i haven't seen you post anything in a while. where have you been?
i agree but only to a certain extent. we can love anyone but to really, truly be in love with someone, it's totally different. each one of us have our own definition of love, sometimes it's complicated and other times it's simple. i recently met this one guy that i thought i would give a chance to see if i was interested in him because we would connect during conversations but romantically not so much. i found out that he was really interested in me but i wasn't feeling the same thing for him. i could have given him a few more chances, but i didn't want to steer him the wrong way. being in love with someone takes a lot more than we all think.
Of course
yes
Spend enough time with anyone and I think so.
I believe that too.
You can love anyone in the world, but choosing one to be your SO for life is difficult. although i wont have to worry about that because im young and focus on other things. most people just want a relationship to get some ass or to have fun at early age. like highschool, im sure people have probably dated and stuff but im also sure that they werent hoping that the person is the only person theyll love and marry for their life. as you get older, things get more serious in relationships
Love is complete self sacrafice for someone elses well being and happiness, my problem is finding a girl thats worth that. Had one in the past that i about married, but she turned out to be a ruthless bitch that stomped on my heart, problem is i cannot remember what made me let her in? It wasn't only because she was beautiful, there was something else. But i'm not sure.
love is infinite. no matter what, you can always make more of it. That's the beauty and magic of love... and yeah you can learn to love just about everyone
It's definitely proven to be true for me.