Friday, 07 August 2009

• He Was Covered in M&M Goo

  Miss Rhino
  
  It wouldn't be my life if I wasn't mortified at least twice a week. This bedroom blooper comes directly out of the "Why Me?" Hall of Fame.
  
  My bed at school was truly a little piece of fluffy heaven. I layered that baby up with mattress pad after mattress pad and covered it in pillows. It as my little haven away from the dirty dishes and empty beer cans that littered my apartment. So needless to say, I spent a lot of time in it. Watching TV, writing papers, eating the occasional meal - there was nothing I didn't do under those covers. The problem was what I forgot I left under there.
  
  Nighttime rolls around and my 75 pillows were replaced with a gentleman caller. We are curling up under the covers when all of a sudden I hear a groan of disgust. I look over and he is examining his hand that is now covered in brown goo. Ah yes, the familiar scent of milk chocolate in the nighttime. Completely mundane.
  
  It only took me a moment to put two and two together. M&Ms, my mid-afternoon snack of choice, had been left behind under the sheets earlier that day. My bed, which is lofted right up next to the window, becomes a sauna as the sun beats in all day and the M&Ms had been the chocolaty-casualty of the day.
  
  It's true what they say. Those tricky little candy-coated bastards DO melt in your hand. Or if you're lucky like me, the hand of a now extremely disgusted someone else.
  
  Snacking in bed is only one of my horrifying habits that I would never let a boy know about me. I should have known it was only time before my dirty little secret was discovered. It reminded me of the Sex and the City episode where Charlotte was afraid to let Trey know that she stared into a mirror for hours examining her pores. It was her  "S.S.B." or secret single behavior. I'd rather be caught checking myself out than be discovered as a bedroom chocolate eater. But to each his own.
  
  Do you have any habits you wish were never uncovered by your SO? What's your S.S.B? 

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