Seriously, what is the difference between meeting someone on a social networking site such as MySpace versus a bar down the street? The answer is not very much...
I was having this conversation with a friend and the topic of meeting people for potential dates came up in our conversation. So I casually mentioned that once upon a long time, I had a MySpace account where people (guys) looked me up and I've gone on a few dates with them. He immediately laughed and asked me why.
My response is why not? How is it any different from meeting a guy at a bar or a club? At least with social networking sites, you get to check their 411 and know a little more about them from their friends and their photos.
Yeah, photos say a lot about a person. For example, one of my GFs was checking out this guy online and she thought he was cute and he looked really good on paper. But then I noticed something in his photos...he looked a little short. So we clicked on his status and profile and there it was. He was only 5'3"! Eep! I mean, my GF is short herself but she wears heels all the time so she'll just be staring at the top of his head. Done. Good bye. Delete.
I keep thinking to myself, back in the day, online dating was frown upon or made fun of, but I can't see how speed dating was any better and that was all the rage for a few years. I remember going to one of those with a friend and by the fifth guy, I was ready to go home, change into my PJs and spend some time with Ben & Jerry. I was exhausted! Talking about the same thing and repeating myself for the past 5 minutes for the next half hour? Sheesh...
Oh, and if you get a guy that's a 1 or 2 on a scale of 10, what do you do? For crying out loud, you can't even make eye contact, how on earth are you suppose to make conversation? Let's be real here, physical appearance is important for the first impression so whether you meet someone on the street or online, there has to be a physical attraction first.
So isn't it better to pre-screen and see what you're getting? Sort of like test driving a car before you buy it? What do you think? Would you ever go on a date with someone from a social-networking site?
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Comments (38)
true.
I have no problems with online dating sites. My mom, sister and aunt all found great guys online.
I met my husband online, we have been married for 7 years now. People can lie to you online just as much as they could to your face, and vice versa. So, there isnt a huge difference.
I think it's weird, but at least with social networking sites you can get to know a little about them, like you said.
"Yeah, photos say a lot about a person. For example..."
... so you noticed in a picture that he could be short probably relative to some frame of reference, so you guys checked his profile and saw he was 5'3"!!! VS your friend seeing with her own eyes that someone is short in person. i don't get it. lol.
my gripe is that a lot of online-dating-whatever is for people who aren't calibrated/comfortable to be social in REAL LIFE.
Right now, I say that I wouldn't date a person from a social networking site, but that may change in the future. Either way, if I meet the dude from a site or in person, I always analyze them before I make any serious commitments. I agree with AyshrenS - people can lie to you online just as much as they can to your face... there isn't really a difference. I guess you just gotta stay alert.
I don't know, I think I'd rather meet them in person so I can see how they act around me. Some people can be super shy in person but outgoing online. And I'd be afraid that they'd look different in person because they photoshopped their picture or something and i wouldn't be into them in real life. That would suck!
You can "pre-screen" all you want, but people can make up false names, info and pictures. Networking sites don't require proof of I.D. and there have been many cases of con-artists (and even more dangerous individuals), using networking sites to meet and take advantage of unsuspecting victims (some have even been physically harmed, if not worse, upon meeting).
I'm one of those people who are totally against online dating, sure the bar scene presents similar dangers, but most people have a gut instinct and mine works best in person rather than over technology. I'm not trying to lecture you, I'm just giving my opinion.
@TheScaleDiaries@xanga - In real life they don't have to tell you their real name, their real information. They can have a fake ID, too. (I just thought I'd point that out, I'm not saying you're wrong.)
I'm for online dating. I think it allows perfect matches (who otherwise would have never known eachother) to meet one another and have good lives. Sure, it's hit and miss, but so is every other dating scene on the face of the earth. If a person knows their way around the internet they'll know about online safety, and they'll be able to judge someones character (by how they speak) enough to have a guess as to whether they're safe.
If they're foolish, really young, etc I wouldn't suggest it. I believe mature people should do it, people who know that they CAN be meeting a fake, or that they CAN be in danger. Then again I think it takes a mature person to know that in general.
@pillowpixies@xanga - if you read more closely you'd see I mentioned the same dangers as online dating are in real life as well.
@atmaster@xanga - I agree. I'd want to be with someone who can function somewhat in large and small social situations. Not to mention they could meet and hang out with my friends and family. I'd also prefer that his friends were "real" (sorry, but I don't want to have to start an account on Second Life or something to meet the people you hang out with most and consider your best friends haha).
I sorta pre-screen Xangans I have met in the past year. I gotta make sure they're legit! I guess I would do the same thing if I were to date one.
Hmm....my recent foray into internet dating has worked really well, to tell you the truth. He's done more online dating that I have though, and he says that people often misrepresent themselves physically (this is very true. I actually ran into one of these people).
The two things that concern me are: 1. What if the other person is a serial killer? You can find loads of pictures online and they can be pretty normal-looking. I'd suggest looking them up on facebook and see what type of friends/photos they have. 2. The stigma of online dating. Kind of takes the romance out of it...I mean, how do you introduce them to your friends? "Yup, he's great! I met him online..." I can just hear the silent ridicule now *sigh*
But I think it really makes sense. Why wouldn't you get to know someone better before meeting them in person? You commit less time/energy but recieve more information. And you might have never met that person otherwise. I guess in that sense, the internet is a massive bar with monitors instead of dim lighting. And it's much easier to reject people.
I did, even though it wasn't planned to happen. We couldn't be happier, and more right for each other. Our story on how we met is a long one, and everything about it screams "fate!" even though I wasn't so sure I believed in it before. Everything was just so.. by chance! and we're both still amazed at how we ended up together, but i'm convinced that no one better suits me, and we bring out the best in eachother. :) ♥
i personally don't because i like being friends first. nothing wrong with it, just make sure you're safe and stuff. but im also quite shy so...
there are ppl who act different online and some ppl who act exactly the same in rl... idk
Posts like these make me sad to be 5'3.
- John
I've dated someone I met online. Yes to the title. Good on screen, even better in person.
Oh, vanity <3
yes my current bf is someone i met online and its great to read stuff about him and different photos of him before i actually met him in person. at least there aren't as many awkward silences because you don't know what to talk about because you would have already found out some of his hobbies.
but i have to admit my bf looks better in photos! :p
its an experience, either you like it or you don't but trying doesn't hurt!
first things first: i've dated a guy shorter than i am and i thought it was great. from the onset i was worried that our difference in height would be a big deal, but then i realized that if it didn't bother him, it shouldn't bother me. and he was a great guy. we're still friends, and being with him i had some of the most fun times in my life thus far.
i've pre-screened, and i think it might help to get to know what a person's interests are, at the very least. sites like myspace and facebook especially, where you get to know if another share's your favorite movies or books, or even has a spectacularly hilarious quote can give insight into personality.
it absolutely is easier for people to lie over the internet than in person. here is why: as humans, we are hard-wired to pick up on non-verbal clues in order to decode what i person's true intent is when they're speaking. people speak at 100 to 175 words per minute, but we can listen intelligently at 600 to 800 words per minute; that gives our brains plenty of time to pick up on everything else we have at our disposal in face-to-face communication, such as body language, context, and any other noise. that little nagging feeling you have in the back of your mind when someone lies to your face? that's you picking up on all of those other factors. in contrast, internet communication allows two people to talk via proxy (i.e. typed words, their facebook or myspace profile, a dating website) and while the vast majority of people try to represent themselves honestly, those who wish to deceive have the job made easier for them. they can use the internet to do the lying for them, and they don't have to face the concern that their body language or that shifty look will betray them to you.
that being said, there are several people i have met over the internet who are awesome, wonderful friends, but the inherent risk assumed when you open yourself to a new kind of communication is that not all may be honest.
i met my boyfriend online...it took us 8 years to finally meet..for the record, we are just friends for those span of time and we did admit to each other that we like each other..when we finally get to meet, it was amazing.. he's very goodlooking online, but he's superb in person.. he asked me to be his girlfriend a few days after our first meeting in person..
meeting someone online is very risky though but everything still has risks..
This is ridiculous and it's why I don't take my FB/myspace/etc seriously.
If my writing skills did not BLOW so much, I would write a book about the online persona. Majority of online personas are different from in person.
I've met probably 20+ people offline and some people have become best friends and people I can really trust, and some I just don't talk to anymore.
I actually found my husband online, so I have no problems with online dating. When I tell the story of how we met, though, I do waver between the truth and a vague "Oh, we went to the same college." The last is true, but never really answers the question. All of my friends and family know we met online, but there are certain people I know would just not be able to accept it. Ours actually made for a cute meeting story, from first contact to end of the first date, but that's neither here nor there.
I do think online dating is what you make of it. Personally, I was crazy picky. I also wasn't actively looking. I'd browse guys, but for the most part, I was content to let them come to me. I'd have to say it all worked out well, though. I couldn't have chosen a better man to be with. Hooray for online dating!
-Katie
i totally get where your comming from but i'd rather meet people face to face but thats just me
@presque_la@xanga - You could have been talking about me! That's so great, best wishes for both of you!