How do I stop myself from falling in love with the wrong person? The walls around my heart is so easily broken, I wish I had a much stronger heart that could withstand all these emotions that I feel. I need a heart transplant.
It's the 2nd time in 4 months that I've had feelings for a man that I know would not return my love. He lives in a different country and I met him while he's visiting here. I was all ready to just forget about him and cast him into the category of "one night only events". He contacted me, told me he'd love to hang out with me before he leaves. Being the nice person as I always am, I went along with his suggestion and hung out. That was a real mistake I made with myself. A real gigantic mistake. I didn't realize I was being so cruel to myself.
I realized I liked him, when this sudden sadness came over me as he told me he was leaving tomorrow. The thought that he's going back and we'll not hang out again just injects this pain into my heart. A rush of emotions. For a long time, nobody can give me a very solid and stable feeling. I felt it with him but I also had this intuition that he wouldn't reciprocate. He calls me his friend, doesn't attempt to flirt all that much and not much physical contact. Then here's the thing, why the fuck does he tells me he's gonna give me a kiss because he likes me and then kisses me at the end of the day?
I'm sick of liking someone who doesn't give a damn about me, who treats me like a temporary toy. I have feelings too. I want to have a stronger heart, immune to sadness and the emotions I'm feeling. I don't want to love anyone. But at the same time, I'm afraid that toughening up my heart will make me cold and inhumane. Could I feel love anymore in that state? How can my heart hurt less?
Recommend
Comments (18)
I need one too.... I wish there was a way to make someone fall in love with you.. or want to be friends with you... or keep them in love with you... but yeah, I'm sorry and I sympathize
I think most women go through this at some time or another. I let the same thing happen to me, and its an awful feeling. Im sorry I dont really have any advice, but you arent alone.:(
I understand how you feel. All of us go through it, I wish there were a way to make the walls around my heart stronger and more durable since I do fall for guys easily. I guess you just learn with experience.
instead of a heart transplant, why don't you try training your mind, your body, your heart... what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger... worst comes to worst, there's always pain killers that numb away any pain... of course, most pain killers come with the possibilities of side-effects... and that usually doesn't make your heart/life any better... so really, i think you should try training yourself... tell yourself each day/night you look beautiful and you deserve better... mind over matter... hopefully that does the trick...
@AyshrenS@xanga - Same here :(
same as f_a_w_n_y@xanga :(
Well, I've been through some heartache just like everyone else. After each time I was hurt, I decided to not care about a guy, unless they really showed they cared for me by either showing in various ways or just saying it. So every other time someone was like, "I like you," I was just thinking to myself, what if this person hurts me? After awhile you tend to shut out some people because they've hurt you so much. But what you should do is wait to care until the person shows you they really care. Also, maybe he did like you but didn't know how to show you.
@f_a_w_n_y@xanga - Meh. I wish. =\
I don't really know.
it gets better with time.... just ice it up real nice and soon all you will be feeling with guys will just be temporarily too. (until a certain some comes along then melts it back to life again.) hehehe It takes practice!
same as f_a_w_n_y@xanga aswel
I seem mentally retarded when it comes to matters of the heart...
i really did think you needed a heart transplant.. wow what a misleading title!
@quotes3085@xanga - same here. lol.
erm, this is a site about matters of the heart... what else would you expect from such a title?
ok now here's the part I don't get... did he kiss you or did he not?
i feel the same too =(
@heyjuke@xanga - he did...
@f_a_w_n_y@xanga - thanks =) Time heals wound of every kind. I'll get better with time
@kawasaki_saiyan@xanga - the problem with training is...i don't want to become a cold heartless person. Its really such a dilemma. I believe when you want someone to love you, you must be ready to return that love as well.
@singleville@xanga -
it's possible to train yourself to have a strong heart without being a cold heartless person... it mainly has to do with learning: to forgive yourself as well as the other person, to forget about certain details (your faults, his faults), and to grow as a person (like knowing what you want, what work, what didn't).. not only that, but most importantly, having hope/faith... hope that you'll find someone that's perfect for you... or almost perfect for you... maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually in the near future...
This is actually a very common medical condition called being human. Scientists are just discovering that it affects 99% of all people on Earth. I've got it. Still, I wish that you could find love without pain. Heck, I wish I could too.