I know what I'm about to say on this entry might come across very naive but bear with me, it has occurred to me the other day while my brain was on idle, and I've decided to share my thoughts with you.
I'm probably going to be crude in this entry so that's your heads-up kids!
In the movies, when a couple is together and things start getting heated up - the petting becomes more exaggerated, breathing is ragged, and bodies are pressing onto each other - the scene changes and the pair have made their way into the bedroom. Clothes are shed and ragged breathing continues until the girl gives the guy the "go ahead" nod about shifting the heavy petting action of PG-13 to R ratings.
This is where my brain went idle. I was watching
Knocked Up.
In spite of all the talk about having safe sex (one should be always having protected sex), the sex scenes in movies never seem to have a moment where the guy is fumbling with the condom. In real life, the moment before he slips one on and they figure out where to place each other's limbs, that window lasts longer than mere nanoseconds. If I remember correctly, The 40-Year-Old Virgin and American Pie (I) are the only movies that even remotely touch on this particular moment. Usually the screen is blurred or the scene never takes place because they're already in the motion of doing the deed.
Where is the realism?
In life, from what I've heard and experienced, this is what usually happens:
guy: "do we need to?"
girl: "i'm not on the pill, we have to!"
guy: "okay..."
*looks for one and finally manages to rip it open*
guy: "can you give me a hand with this?"
girl: "how? don't you know how to put it on?"
guy: "argh... it's cutting the circulation..."
girl: "i don't care, i'm not having sex without it."
guy: "okay, let's do this!"
*moments later*
guy: "i can't feel anything."
girl: "you're going to keep that on mister...even if we give up!"
Yes, I know. This dialogue doesn't exactly scream out: "do it, do it to me!" kind of sex or even "making sweet love" romantic notion in coupling of two (relatively attractive) people together. But it happens more often than not and at least you know it's true. I mean, to skip these moments of awkward and slightly retarded sexual arrangements, I know people decide to have unprotected sex. It's not just to prevent getting pregnant people, it's to keep you SAFE from other stuff other than unexpected baby makings (I apologize if I sound like a pamphlet about family planning...).
Just the other day, a girlfriend of mine told me about how she tried to "help" her bf with a condom and accidentally snapped it on him. He howled in pain, she bit her lip so she didn't burst out in giggles (and mind you, as she was telling this story, we WERE laughing our asses off) and muttered, "this is why I said I didn't want to do it!" The romantic moment had dissipated and he had to give up since she turned over and passed out.
Or a buddy of mine said when he was sleeping with this random girl and because she accidentally broke their only condom, they had sex without one. She swore she was on the pill but in the end...that's right, now he's going to his first abortion appointment next week because neither of them want the possible child. One of my other buddy, who was known amongst us as a manslut, ended up with crabs for a few months. I mean, this kind of information only surfaces when we all had a round or two of too many soju shots, but this totally explained why he decided not to be a manslut anymore (we were all wondering about his change). Wearing a condom is important! I know, in the movies they skip it right through and let you assume that they're "protected" but are they really? (actually, they aren't "really" having sex, eh?)
Too many of my girlfriends tell me their boyfriends use the excuse of "it's cutting my circulation off" in attempts to have sex without one. But the pill does not ALWAYS work and the concept of "pulling out" is not foolproof, not to mention, it's pretty messy. So the smart way of thinking would be to have sex with a rubber on, eh? And guys, figure out a way to work it out, because there's just too much risk to "play" without one.
I bet if guys had the possibility of getting knocked up as women do, you'd be MUCH more careful about condoms and having protected sex. hahaha...
This is where my brain went idle. I was watching Knocked Up.In spite of all the talk about having safe sex (one should be always having protected sex), the sex scenes in movies never seem to have a moment where the guy is fumbling with the condom. In real life, the moment before he slips one on and they figure out where to place each other's limbs, that window lasts longer than mere nanoseconds. If I remember correctly, The 40-Year-Old Virgin and American Pie (I) are the only movies that even remotely touch on this particular moment. Usually the screen is blurred or the scene never takes place because they're already in the motion of doing the deed.Where is the realism?
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Comments (64)
I love that last part because I've always thought it: If guys were the ones who had to risk getting pregnant they would put a lot more thought and worry into using protection. Lucky them for being able to walk away :P
oh man i totally agreeeee lol ..and not just the condom, there should be another contraceptive, like birth control or spermicide. better safe then sorry!
condoms don't protect hearts...safe sex = no sex at all. kthnxbai.
I always use condoms regardless of the feeling. Its A. Responsible and B> safe
wait, that picture was the scene from 40 year old virgin. not knocked up.
@asdfghjkieu@xanga -
But how is that good or bad? Intimacy is good.There are other alternatives to the traditional condom, including any combination of condom, diaphragm, pill, spermicide.
I get your point, but you can't be basing reality on the movies. If we looked at the movies to mirror real life, nobody would watch movies! We all LIVE life, which more often than not sucks, so we watch to escape it. We KNOW it's all make-believe in the end, but for two hours we can sit and be brainless and pretend that things are okay.
Besides. If we were all as hot/pretty/sexy as , we could have all the fantastic, perfect, orgasmical sex we wanted and never worry about crabs.
@xourlastendeavorx@xanga - okay...safe sex = weener & mrs. right (or left...or both) whatever floats your boat.
I agree with you haha.
i believe a lot of guys are smarter then that...the onse i talk to seem to be more careful then the girls...maybe thats just my town thoguh.
One thing I've noticed is that guys tend to think that most condoms are the same, or they just go for the Trojans. Condoms are like any other thing you wear, you have to try them on! Not like, in the store...but try different brands and sizes (yes, sizes) and see which ones work best. Some people like ribbed, some like extra-thin, some like warming-lubricated. Find what works for you and your partner.
My boyfriend is always like, "Get the spermicide ones! They kill sperm!" And that's generally the extent of thought that goes into it. We've mixed it up with flavors and textures, but those seem to be the best for both of us, so I stick with them. But it is definitely cute to see him with a murderous glint in his eye as he searches the aisle for the "ones that kills 'em."
You'd also be surprised to know that a lot of men wear condoms wrong. Go watch a video and practice!
My boyfriend and I don't wear condoms every time because we've been tested and I'm on birth control (yes, I know about the .01% chance that it fails, and I take that risk) and he actually likes wearing condoms because of the freedom of not pulling out.
totally
I have noticed the same thing in movies but in real life putting on a condom shouldn't be something the guy goes off and does and comes back...it is bets when incorperated into the foreplay. The girl being the one that usually puts it on for the man.
yeah it's definitely the smart and right thing to do although it can lead to him losing it, resulting in no sex... They need to invent something new to prevent that sausage casing feeling.
They have that new condom. One that guys can't feel. I can't remember what its called.
@lostxinxthexdarkxx - The imaginary condom?
HAHAHA!
...Sorry.
condoms ftw. if you can't feel it. you are probably just lame in the bedroom. get creative.
I love how you all are more concerned with getting pregnant than getting a non-curable disease.
Not sure where the "cutting circulation" argument comes into it, really. I've been fine, and like @i_r_keiko@xanga said, mix it up and try different types.
Personally, I like the variety boxes. A little bit of everything! :)
Haha that is so true about what guys say about condoms. But something that may help... I think I read it on SerenaDante's site, but she said it's good to use different types of condoms. like ribbed or stuff like that. (and now as I'm reading, I see that @cmdr_keen@xanga just said the same thing).
@cmdr_keen@xanga - The band is sometimes too small on some condoms and it feels too tight. My boyfriend has this problem with Lifestyles.
One: make him learn how to wear a condom. Sex should not be defeated just because he doesn't know how.
Two: "It's cutting my circulation off!" --get a bigger size condom, it's not big enough, otherwise it shouldn't hurt or be too tight.
Three: of course it's not in the movies, waiting for a guy to finish putting on the condom isn't sexy, and they never show the not sexy scenes unless it's a funny gag, and putting on a condom isn't a great funny gag. Plus, they can't exactly show genitalia, unless it's a porno.
my boyfriend and I always use condoms...in fact, we always have spares, just in case anything happens. He says it isn't uncomfy to put on one, and he said that he doesn't feel any different with it on or off....you don't "snap" the condom onto the guy o.O You gently roll it on...O_O I learned how to work condoms during mandatory sex ed in high school...
Safe sex is a responsibility that comes with having sex.
Totally agree with this post! I am so glad that my SO and i are on the same page about that. When things get going, he always remembers or insists when my brain shuts of. Hehe. I really dislike that people only consider the possibility of getting pregnant as the biggest worry of unprotected sex. HELLO!! There are far worse things than getting pregnant unexpectedly.
haha I liked the last part- but at least there are people who are careful, though.