Monday, 03 August 2009

• Yeah, There's Even An App For THAT

  So we've told you that there's an app that keeps track of your (or your lady friend's) period...but now there's also an app that rates your sex sessions. Via Telegraph:
  
  

  The Passion 'app' uses the phone's motion sensors and microphone to take a series of readings during sexual intercourse.
  
  Users simply start the programme, strap the phone to their arm or belt, and press 'stop' when lovemaking is over.
  
  The programme then gives a rating from 'bad' to 'perfect' on three criteria - duration, activity, and orgasm.
  
  Duration is monitored by the phone's timer, activity through the 'accelerometer' motion sensor, and orgasm via the microphone.
  
  All the readings are combined to created a score out of 10.
  
  Users can then go online to upload the score and compare themselves against others who have done the same.
  
  The application was developed by Chris Alvares, who also developed the quiz-based applications MusicApp, Four Squared and WikiQuiz.
  
  On his blog, Mr Alvares - who is still studying computer science at the University of Texas - said: "This application uses all of the iPhone's features to measure how passionate you can be with your loved one.
  
  "Just start the application, put your iPhone in your pocket or in an armband, and start Passion. After you are finished, it will calculate a score between 0 and 10."
  
  The application is currently only available to American iPhone users, and is selling at $4.99.
  
  

  I have some concerns with this.
  
  1. Why is this $4.99?
  2. Yes, you can put it in your pocket, but...eventually, won't pants containing said pocket be taken off? I don't know. What people wear during sex is none of my business.
  2b. I would not procreate with anyone wearing an iPhone armband during sex.
  3. This would be fun to screw around with (unintentional pun) just by making suggestive noises and moans with friends or something, but not for $5 and for seriously using it. And motion sensors?
  4. I would think that going online to compare your supa-1337 sex0r score means you are compensating for something, no?
  5. Let's assume you lose your phone somewhere and someone returns it to you (as my friends and I have done) - of course that someone is going to go through your apps and see what you're all about (as my friends and I have done). I would be beyond embarrassed to have the Passion app between my Twitterrific and NYTimes apps.
  
  Here's a hypothetical: You are making out with someone and sex is imminent. You see this person whip out his/her iPhone and turn on the Passion app. Do you a) run away; b) go with it; c) curse Steve Jobs? 
  

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