Monday, 03 August 2009
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Would You Rather Not Know?
I was just talking to a girl friend the other day and this question popped up in my head when she told me about her view on body checks. After I told her about how I thought it is crucial to get your body checked regularly so that you can detect early signs of any illnesses, she told me that she'd rather die early and live a short but happy life than to live long, get painful treatments, and dwell in fear that her disease might come back to haunt her for the rest of her life. This got me thinking... Is it better to know about the truth and be sad, or to never find out about it and live happily ever after?For example, if your significant other that you love so dearly cheated on you (for only once and will never happen again), would you rather him/her tell you about it, or would you rather not know about it at all and continue living your life happily as if nothing happened?
Knowing my own personality, I know that I would never be able to forgive a boyfriend and continue on with the relationship if he ever cheated on me (which fortunately, has never ever happened *knock on wood*) even if it was only a one-time thing and he was terribly sorry, but I'd still rather know about the entire truth even though I know that there is no turning back and that I would be living in utter hurt and disappointment for a long period of time. I'd rather know about about the bitter truth and go through all that pain than live happily in a sweet lie forever...
What are your views on this?
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Comments (47)
I'd rather know. I would maybe live my life differently...
Id rather know is my SO cheated on me so I could dump their ass. Cheaters are scum and we dont need them.
I'd rather know the truth if my SO cheated on me.
If I had some serious disease, I guess I'd rather know it too.
I'd rather know.
I can't stand living in ignorant bliss. Once I realize I was living a lie, I feel like my past life has been completely undermined.
I'm not sure about whether I'd rather know if I had a disease, like Huntington's (you're either going to die middle-aged or be free of the disease). I don't know if I'd want to squash all my dreams and aspirations for my long life.
if its relationship wise, i rather know if they cheated. If they hide it from me, then that's when I don't trust them. I feel like if they tell me, then they give signs that they made a mistake and wants to work things out. Yes it'd hurt, but you'll get through it you know?
I would rather know if someone cheated on me, even once. If I found out a long time down the road, I would feel like an idiot for treating that person so well and would be so hurt and confused. Even though it would be really painful to know something like that, the sooner you know the sooner you can start looking for someone or something else that makes you really happy.
That's exactly what's frustrating in my relationship. He just won't tell me things. I get disappointed when I have to learn those things myself. It gets really really frustrating.
Knowing myself, I would rather know. For me, not telling and lying is the same.
For the disease, early detection may bring about early treatment and good prognosis. So, still, I'd rather know.
I'd rather know. In the case of a disease, with the advances in modern medicine, there's hope for a cure. Plus, your friends, family, and loved ones will have advance warning in case you're dying -- they can be prepared for your loss, and you know ahead of time to get your shit in order. (Writing a will, cleaning out your apartment, whatever).
In the case of a relationship, it's a matter of trust, communication, and the strength of your relationship. If, in some alternate universe in which my boyfriend is not loyal and faithful and 100% awesome, my boyfriend cheated on me, I'd want to know. We could maybe work things through, or I'd maybe lose all faith in him and dump his sorry ass. But if he kept it from me, and lied about it, and if it ever eventually came out, there would be no room for communication or forgiveness. It would be like instant death. How can you have a happy, fulfilling relationship if one partner is hiding something that crucial from the other?
i do not believe that if it turned out she had breast cancer she would be totally ok with that and reject treatment ... sorry.
anyway, yeah, i would need the truth. i could never stand to live in self-delusion.
Id rather know and have amnesia two minutes later
Ignorance is bliss but I accept the truth for what it is. I'd rather know, plus past actions make a person whom they are now. Not accepting their prior activities is the rejection of their soul. NEVER put your love on a pedestal, nor they you.
I would wanna know everything. I have a right to know if I can trust the man I'm supposed to love.
As far as diseases, I'd wanna know that too. There's a lot I wanna do with my life and if I have a terminal illness, I'd wanna know how much time I would have left to do these things. I don't wanna die regretting not being able to do certain things.
I rather know.
My sister in law started feeling pain in her abdomen after giving birth to her second child. When she finally went to the doctor it was determined that she had a large tumor growing there.
Although all illnesses are not to that degree, I can only think that you would be a fool to live in that kind of pain without knowing why.
Unfortunately, the treatments did not cure her. she gave birth November 11 2005 and died September 28 2007.
As for SO cheating ONCE and ONLY ONCE i would rather not know....i dont know if the anger and sadness in learning of infidelity comes from genuine concern for the relationship and the feeling of isolation from the SO, or out of pride. No one wants to be played like a fool. I think some or maybe even most people can move past a one time infidelity,but when you believe that it will become a pattern then the relationship is probably on its last legs. And the more people that know about the infidelity the less chance of the relationship lasting.
@xourlastendeavorx@xanga - I feel like one never loses control to the point where they have an excuse for cheating. It seems like people assume the only way to stop cheating is to stop seeing the outside person...but that is incorrect. You can stop cheating by breaking up with the person you're cheating on. I know that I will never cheat.
I would like to know if I was cheated on, as well if I had something medically wrong with me. It's better to address issues and move on than to let them fester.
Id rather know, dont want to be living on shakey foundations.
Definitely rather know.
Then I could punch them in the face and be done with it.
Not done with the relationship necessarily... just done with the guilt.
Also, if I could be better instead of dying so quickly and terribly, I would.
Sticky situation. The truth would be good to know, but if it wouldn't ever happen again, then it probably wouldn't have happened that one time anyway.
duhhhhhhhhhhh
how do you now he has never ever cheated on you.. maybe tht's why your relationship is so great cos he haven't told you... just saying!
I wouldn't want to know if it was only one time and never happened again. He could trust himself that he wouldn't do it again, but I couldn't. He would realize the mistake he made and never do it again. But it would drive me insane wondering if he would do it again. However, if it happened more than once I'd like to know. That's more than just a mistake. And then the relationship would be over. Because I don't think I could ever get over it.
I rather know.