After eating dinner at Friendly's, my mom and I were discussing dating. I've gotten a lot of friend requests on Facebook ever since I joined Bloom '13. She asked me why I questioned the guys' intentions. "Mom, people don't date without expectations."
She looked at me with one of those "what the ____ " faces. I tried to explain to her that a lot of the guys that I've come across don't seem to want to take the time out and get to know you. They don't want to take me out to dinner or to the movies. Instead of saying hey, I get "ayo ma you gotta fatty" or "yo babe I love Apple Bottom jeans. but I bet you look better with them off." Do you really expect for some girl to respond in a positive way to that kind of crap?
Every time I hear a guy say some stupid mess like that out of his face I just want to yell "AHHHH, every girl is someone's daughter, someone's sister. Would you want some guy talking to your little sister like that? Your mother?" Now please keep in mind that I didn't say that all, guys.
I'll be leaving for university in a few months and I'm sure that I'm going to meet a lot of people from different walks of life...hopefully one that knows how to act, but ladies, has this ever happened to you? Have guys ever called you out of your name or said something disgusting about your body and expected you to want to talk to him? Guys, what kinds of pick up lines do you use and which wo rk the best for you?
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Comments (27)
Well, those guys do have expectations. (Not that I'm saying I'm one of those booty chasing heathen)
This is what goes through in their minds - If a girl turns around and likes what she sees physically, then he'll get a chance at getting some booty. Sadly, some girls give it up too easily, and those girls feed the ego of other men who don't try hard enough to be with a true woman.
But back to what you're saying, I get that guys should come up to a girl honestly and sincerely, but just because a guy approach you gentleman like, doesn't mean he's in for a relationship either.
Oh you can bet I've had one like that. Some pervert decided I was hot enough to be his next notch on the bed post and tried to hit on me and get me interested in him saying stuff about girl's body parts. It was the worst thing I ever encountered and I couldn't wait to get out of high school so I could get away from him permanently.
There's a wide range of people who want to date or have sex, but have no idea how to go about it. Some aren't taught at all, but what you have described seems like they are taught the wrong way. No responsibility. No respect.
LOL yes. And i've always ignored them. College was a time where my values became convictions.. and i definitely used to and STILL get those lines of "ayo ma you lookin real sexy".. or my absolute favorite one that i got online the summer before college: "your lips look real sexy.. like d*** sucking lips... u wanna suck mine?".... but it's the quickest turn off.. I've never succumbed to that, why would I? Pick up lines that disturb you will always disturb you.... a word to the wise, don't expect someone u havent met face-to-face to give you any consideration as anything beyond a piece of meat.. and don't give consideration to anyone who sees you as a nothing but a piece of meat, whether in person or via FB.
Good Luck With College! It will definitely be some great years!!!
I know exactly what you meannnn.
There are definitely some guys that DON'T want you to put out on a first date - my boyfriend has told me about past dates that did that and to him they were a huge turn-off because she didn't respect herself enough to wait. I think everyone is insecure in high school, and those who don't actually feel that way are pressured into acting like it because all their friends do. They will grow up - not all of them, but the ones that matter will. You may also date one of those quiet geeky types that you never noticed until he grew into himself after high school. (I'm the girl version of that - I didn't really grow into myself until this year: my third year of university).
I thought it was funny that you were being the parent to your mother.
maybe you should read "Act like a lady, think like a man?"
Yes, all the time.
Guys are pigs & pretty stupid. But some girls respond positively to it. And that's the type of girl they are looking for anyway..
I just keep it moving.
@Luvlystarr@xanga - Generalizations are bad...
@ViciousGrin63@xanga - Are THEY really??
omg i know where u're coming from and it's frustrating..even my friend and i were talking just seems guys nowadays aren't being taught how to treat a woman. just take your time, open up to certain guys they'll show their true colors. you are looking to find a great cose relationship with someone willing to open up. not a player or perv.
haha look at one of my xanga entries about a man on the street calling me out about my legs.
@Luvlystarr@xanga - Yes, they are.
Is it me, or is this post and everything older than this post completely bolded?
hhaha well i'm seventeen and most of the guys i talk to are around 16-19, and yes, they talk like that. or they like telling me what they'll do to me, or me to them, and they use digusting ways of referring to certain body parts.
i really hope they grow up ..
Luckily in high school I always dressed in baggy clothes. I was tom boyish. So it was all good for me. And everyone knew I had a boyfriend even though he didn't go to my school. So yeah, I've never had that type of thing happen to me. It didn't happen too much in my high school anyways. And in college we all keep to ourselves and everyone is quite mature.
I`m going off to college in the fall too, and while I haven`t had experiences as traumatizing as yours, I`m sure there will still be some guys in college who act like that. But GPAs, SATs, and essays have probably weeded out the majority of the guys who behave like that [along with the girls who respond positively to it].
Yes... A LOT. I live in a really bad neighborhood and most of the time when you're walking alone on the street in broad daylight, you'll hear someone saying something about you really loud. What do I do? I just keep walking. If the guy is really annoying, I just get out of the street and go onto the avenue where it's more busy and then go into a busy store. There's some nasty guys that'll call you all sorts of things and say disgusting things about you being with him etc etc. And the worst part is that sometimes they even do it when I'm walking with my older brother or my dad. They make those predator eyes like "If he wasn't with you right now, I would do nasty things to you" -_____-
It's really disrespectful. If you really find a girl to be attractive and want to get to know her (and you aren't some creepy/pervy 50-something man and she's only 15) then approach her politely. -___-
@Viserys@xanga - wow...hmmm
it happens all the time to me. -.-
I think it's stupid too! I was hanging out at Burger King with a couple friends, and this jerk (who was totally jazzed to look like "that indian guy from twilight") showed up, three girls tailing them. When he told them to "get the f*** away," he told us about how they'd all just given him head. Then he was on the phone with them. He was ordering her around and calling her tons of names, but it turns out that she agreed to meet him, do something for him, and leave immediately. I just want to smack these girls and say, "Hello! What's wrong with you?! THAT is not a boyfriend! Why the hell are you responding to "Hey, whore, gimme head"?!
guys who are cocky and think they are hot shit, yes. or just plain want sex. lol.
xo
Ha, it works sometimes though. I met my guy cos he came up to me when i was out and goes 'you're far too beautiful to be in a bar like this'.. Sleazy and obviously a line.. But we actualy got talking and actualy got along..
That being said, i get far worse all the time and just ignore the guys.
In the spirit of being anti-guy bashing; maybe rocking low cut jeans with words written in sequins and glitter across your ass isnt the perfect way to get it across to men that they shouldn't act like idiots when persuing you if they want to be successful in doing such(?)
And the reason some guys DO prove how fucking stupid they are by getting at women in such crude and disrespectful ways is this: its EASY, if you turn them down then so what... they got to mess with your ego(knowing that you deserve better then being given THAT) and give themselves a good laugh, AND... they know its only a matter of time before it actually WORKS. Some women get off on that and love the attention regardles of how its displayed, some women don't know any better (yet), and some women who are predatory and maybe not looking for a real relationship, see that as a sign of an easy lay they can "oops" delete/block his number right after she's grown bored and forget he even exists.
Personally I don't use pick-up lines and I have no game whatsoever(haha, honesty is the new black)... but a few ex/co-workes of mine tried to explain to me at a bar one night that the fact that I claim I don't have game and dont resort to pickup lines IS a kind of strategy that catches girls off guard... but they worded it like im purposely doing this to pray on girls... but... i think they have way too many "girls night out" and over anylize shit men do. We're enigmatic, just on the different side of the scale to your own enigmatic...icity.... ness.
Hope things get better for you. we're not all douchebags... BUT-ALSO, you think its so easy, find a guy that looks somewhat if not COMPLETELY out of your league and just run up on him and try to engage in conversation on the fly without using what you got filling those apple bottom jeans to alure him.... and if he replies back in a way that suggests he only wants to fuck, then you lose and start over. Shits not fucking easy so cut some of us a break :D
@Luvlystarr@xanga - hmm, i wonder what your history with men is if thats what you think of the one's youve encountered.... maybe you just attract stupid pigs?
@erahslover@xanga - LOL...If you really must know my history..I've been with 1 guy (and only 1 guy) and we are still very much in love, still together and he treats me very well, tyvm...6 years and counting...I have plenty of male friends and that's what I've observed, not to mention the men that I do not know. I don't attract pigs, I can spot them
. More pigs out there than not.