Friday, 31 July 2009

• I'd Rather Be Watching Pimp My Ride

  Miss Rhino
  
  If I am good for anything, I'm at least good for exposing you all to new and hilarious websites. The cause of today's giggles are coming from Said In Bed. It's basically like FML... in bed. Apparently that rule doesn't only work with fortune cookies. Let me give you an example:

   

  In the middle of sex…
  Boy: “What are you thinking? What’s on your mind?”
  Girl: “The Quadratic Formula.”

   

  Whoever said math wasn't sexy obviously never experienced the orgasmic pleasure of solving a polynomial equation to the second degree. Mind-blowing, I assure you.

   

  I remember back in high school when I was over at a young gentleman's house. We were making out on his leather couch in the basement. It was pretty swanky down there. Dimmed lighting, surround-sound and a colassal big-screen T.V. that was turned on only for the sake of his parents who kept knocking at the door asking if we needed any water... or popcorn... or really anything to keep us from getting too hot and heavy in their presence. They should have known better. Nothing can stop two teenagers from sucking face until the end of time... or at least until curfew. (Mine was 11:30... so lame.)

   

  Needless to say we were down there for hours, and I'm not gonna lie, I was starting to get a little bored. There's only so much making out you can do in one night, ya know? And then, like a ray of light shining down from the heavens, a great episode of Pimp My Ride came on.

   

  I simply couldnt resist the philanthropic charms of Xzibit and his motley crew of West Coast Customs employees. It was such a good episode too. Q and the WCC gang gave Mary's Ford Mustang convertible special exhaust pipes that shot out flames! But then they realized that was illegal, so they took them away. Mary and Xzibit were devasted, but the show had to go on.

   

  I almost made it through the entire episode before my makeout-buddy even noticed my fixed gaze on the television. I think offended would be the right word to use in this scenario. He punished me by turning off the T.V. right as they were about to reveal the finished product. All I could do was return to the monotony of making out and pray that it would re-run later that night.

   

  I think he should have counted his blessings in this case. At least I was merely gawking at the electronic expertise of Mad Mike as he installed the LCD monitors in Mary's Mustang. I could have been fantasizing about another dude. I mean who knows which '90s boy-band rockstar could have been running through my mind during hour three of our makeout extravaganza. A little casual television watching is nothing. Especially if you're a seasoned multi-tasker.

   

  Have you ever let your mind wander while fooling around? Have you ever been caught? I think the even better question becomes: Do you ever fantasize about celebrities/musicians/anyone who is NOT your SO while hooking up with your SO? 

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