Fmylife.com contains short day-to-day life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML".
Here are our favorite five submissions from
F*** My Life this week:
Today, I learned that my wife had sex with another guy. She met him while we were on a trip in another state for marriage counseling. The reason we were in marriage counseling was because she had no desire for sex, and we had gone for two years without it. FMLToday, I was in the car with my boyfriend when I said "I wish all the weight I gained just went to my boobs." His reply was, "They'd be HUGE." FMLToday, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FMLToday, my boyfriend told me that we would be living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up, ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FMLToday, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokemon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokemon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FMLbonus question related to the last item: what is your favorite pokemon? mine is togepi, obviously
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Comments (44)
The Spock one... ahahahahaha
hahaha to the victoria secret slap!
HAHA the spock one.
btw my favorite pokemon is squirtle :) or togepi
ha ha! the first one kinda sucks though! I have to give it the thumbs up on this batch!
Slapping the wrong guy? Hahah!
BAHAH @ The Spock one.
AHAHA. I'd totally be in a situation like the Pokemon thing. That would be me. So sad.
Though, I'm confused. If "ditto" isn't a pokemon, then what is it?
I'm for the Spock one
VULPIX.
Omg that little thing is impossibly cute and beautiful.
haha that is funny. i like pikachu the best! ^-^
charmander! =D
Squirtle.
LOL XD And my favorite Pokemon is Pikachuu. ^_^
lol @ the last one.
xo
hahaha, I always liked vulpix. He's so cute!
Evee, 'cause it could change into several other badass Pokemons.
mine is squirtle too! =D
Jigglypuff. :)
spock.spock aALLL the way X] hahah and i LOVE eevie:]]
I'd say good ole Bulbasaur. Or Eevee.
Pichu
and haha at the Victoria Secret one
Today my best friend is at my house...and I don't even really like her. I was going to tell her the truth, how I know what she says about me and she needs to grow up a little bit because I'm over all this drama...and she told me what a good and loyal friend I was...and bought me a really nice necklace that said "best friends forever" on it...FML
I like the spock one. :)
the girl in fml #2 totally had that coming, lol.
and, CHARMANDER!
Pokemon!!! Gotta catch 'em all!
But I used to have a stuffed Vulpix. XD
It was from KFC.