Friday, 31 July 2009
-
My Boyfriend Stinks!
Okay, he doesn't stink. But he does have bad breath most of the time. I have noticed it has gotten worse over the past year but I don't have the heart to tell him that he really needs to go to the dentist and get his teeth looked at. He has bad teeth, and it's not all his fault. His parents couldn't afford to get him braces when he was a kid and he was one of those that would really benefit from straighter teeth. It's not a cosmetic thing, it's a hygiene thing. My mom paid for my braces and I didn't even really have bad teeth. But now I pay for my own dentistry, and go every 6 months for a teeth cleaning even though I don't have insurance and it takes me forever to pay off my bill. The thing is, I think he knows his teeth are bad, but I'm not sure he knows how bad his breath smells and how bad it tastes when I kiss him sometimes.
I have no idea how to approach him about it without offending him. I told him before that since he hasn't been to the dentist in years we should call around and find a good place but I think he's embarrassed at how bad his teeth have gotten. Plus, it will probably end up costing more than he wants to spend. I have put off telling him for the last few months. This is the man I'm gonna marry and I don't want to hurt his feelings.
Any suggestions? How about you? Have you dealt with anything like this and if so how and what was their reaction? Help!
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: anonymish
- About Me: This post was submitted by a Datingish reader who wanted to remain anonymous. You can submit your own anonymous post at www.datingish.com/submit-post - just make sure you let us know you wouldn't like to have your username displayed!
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 227 Views: 0 543096 Comments: 0 13046 View all posts by anonymish
Comments (82)
Politely mention it to him. If he's the man you're going to marry, he shouldn't get offended and flip out over honesty and how you express a need or two.
People should not think that others are shallow for being turned off by bad breath, or something hanging from your nose, or various other things. I mean if you really love the person you can deal with it once in a while but there's really no excuse for letting yourself go (especially in relatively early stages of long-term relationship). If he loves you, he should take care of himself for you.
Try to find a way to bring it up without offending him. Use I-messages (Yeah, yeah, I'm quoting a textbook, I know) and be like "I'd appreciate if you took a bit more care of your dental hygiene" or "Did you brush your teeth this morning?" rather than "Honey, your breath STINKS! EW!".
Y'know?
My people normally go back to China to get their teeth fixed for a lot cheaper. I like how there's a dentist add on this xanga blog, lol.
Send him a greeting card
you cannot make him go and get his teeth done... but you can sure just talk to him about it. let him know how his gross breath and teeth affect you... if it's so bad that you have to blog about it than you should just tell him... I highly doubt he's going to run off screaming... I mean I'm pretty sure he has to know how bad his teeth are or whatever. all ya got to do is communicate... there really is nothing else I can think of. but good luck with that lol.
and I highly doubt that he wants dentures lol... so just remind him of how bad it could be in the long run for him if he doesn't do anything about it.
you can say, Babe, ima set an appt to go to the dentist, want me to make an appt for you too?
try passing him a piece of chewing gum.
kidding aside, just mention it to him. but nicely, unless he doesn't take these kind of things so well. my guy can not smell at all. so he constantly asks me if he smells or not. esp when we play sports plus its summer time. and if he doesn't ask me i tell him "you smell now" then he'd be like "okay thanks etc etc" even when his breath stinks, i'd tell him too. guess we're just comfortable enough to say those kinda things to each other.
just tell him. it won't hurt!
@oOBuBBLes711Oo@xanga - i like that approach!
Get him a gift certificate to the dentist! Or pay a complete stranger to go up to him and as tactfully as possible tell him what you are afraid to tell him. He may still get hurt, but at least not by you. Just kidding. In love, honesty is important. Maybe get a sonicare toothbrush, a reach flosser (since they are easy to use and help with consistent flossing...flossing helps control my breath a lot) and a waterpik. While not the same as la dentista, they are still really helpful at maintaining good oral hyigene. You could also photo shop some pictures of him smiling with his mouth open. Find some straight white teeth and cut and paste them onto his mouth with some caption like "This could be you! For only 1000 payments of $3.95!"
Tell him nicely. It needs to be done! especially if you're getting married.
@pasaway4eva@xanga - I had a roommate in college that couldn't smell. We had to tell him when he stunk and about his breath also.
There are things that he could do at home to help the problem. He can floss more. If he drinks coffe, or eats alot of cheese, that causes bad breath. My old employer drinks coffee like water. He has horrible breath.
"want some gum?" XD
My ex told me the reason he didn't really kiss me was because of my breath. So I got my tonsils out (the source of the problem).
he still wouldn't kiss me after that.
Just make sure that when you finally tell him, you've got his back from then on.
" I think I'm going to buy some mouthwash. Want some? " or something
@linnelleum@xanga - Haha... your comment cracked me up!!
You should tell him. If you see yourself marrying this guy then you have to get used to being honest with him. It will be embarrassing but if he loves you he will try to do something about it. I was in a similar situation but mine was definitely more embarrassing to approach my bf with but I did it!! After I told him, he went to get help. It's still an issue but I can live with it. I'm just happy that he cared enough to do something about it :)
Ok so its either u tell him and communicate with the man you plan on marrying or u marry a guy with no teeth at all because the longer you wait the worst his teeth are going to get.
I dont understand or see why if your with someone and u plan on marrying him how u can just let him walk around like that. also whats so hard with being honest and stright up with your future husband. he is someone u have been with for awhile u may hurt his feelins but trust me its not the end of the world. get some back bone.
Also people are going to look at you because your letting your man walk around like that....u need to take care of your man. this is not only affecting him but you as well from the outside world.
You should tell him his breath smell. It shows that you comfortable around him. My ex jokes about my killer morning breath all the time. haha. I am really comfortable with my ex so i didn't get offend or anything.
Flossing and mouthwash helps a lot. whenever I go out, I always carry a pack of gum with me. I always chew gum after eating or when my mouth becomes dry.
If you are still scared, then you should offer him a piece of gum after you guys finish dinner. Afterwards, kiss him and if it smells good, tell him. Positive reinforcement. Maybe he will start a better habit.
Hope it helps and good luck!
For your honeymoon, go on a nice, romantic trip to the dentists' office.
In all seriousness though, I used to have halitosis too. Brushing my tongue helped a lot, so did flossing and using mouthwash for 30 seconds. Tell him nao. Otherwise you'd be in a position where you'd rather have his penis in your mouth rather than his tongue. Ugh. Wouldn't want to resort to THAT in front of the alter. o_o
- Kunoichi
I tell my boyfriend if his beard ends up smelling like pizza :P
just be a bit lighthearted about it and tell him straight up. will do you and him good.
Honesty is key. It's a real problem, not like, "Bob, you totally forgot this was the day we had our first hug anniversary thingy!!!"
Just tell him. Try to find cheap alternatives for it too. But it sounds like something that only dentistry can do to help.
haha, nice title.
@KrazeeKunoichi009@xanga - :))
It's times like these that I bet you guys wish you had universal healthcare like we do in the UK.
Maybe he could just get insurance? Would that be cheaper than shelling out for one off visits all the time?
Just be nice about it but be straight and to the point. If this is the man your going to marry then you definitely need to get up the courage and tell him. I mean what if something else happened that you didnt like? How would you tell him then? Ya he might be upset and hurt about it but in the end if he goes to the dentist he can thank you!
just tell him! Be nice about it. I mean if you guys are in a serious relationship, then I don't see why you'd be scared too. you shoujld be comfortable enough with each other
Actually, this one is pretty easy! In case you both didn't know, there is a bacteria that thrives in the mouth that is actually very damaging to the heart muscle if not kept in check. You can most definitely play it off as your being concerned about his well-being and not just about his halitosis. He should definitely get a cleaning just to assess the damage and stop further deterioration of his oral health as well as safeguarding his heart health. Hope this helps!
win-win
https://www.health.harvard.edu/press_releases/heart-disease-oral-health
do your night time "go to sleep" routine together and have him mouthwash, floss, and brush with you. that should help?
and if it doesn't and you think he REALLY needs to see a dentist or doctor, do what all these other people said. because it might just be as simple as daily maintenance issues.