Thursday, 30 July 2009

  • How Much Do Your Parents' Opinions Matter?

    Miss Walrus

    Earlier, I wrote a post that asked the question: How much do your friends' opinions matter? The responses were a mixed bag. It seems like everybody values their buds' opinions of their SO, at least a little bit.

    So, in that same vein, how much does it matter what your parents (or siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, adoptive parents, etc.) think of your lover? I'm pretty sure everybody has seen at least one horrible episode of MTV's "Parental Control" & (even though it's probably 99% scripted) you've probably seen how some of the people on that show really trash-talk their lovers parents. Gross! 

    Could you ever date someone who treated your parents like crap? Does the situation change if you no longer live with your family -- like if you're staying in a dorm or living in your own apartment?

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Comments (36)

  • mewithoutu77@xanga

    my parents' opinion matters to me because i want them to also like him too and vice versa.  i would never date a person who didn't respect my parents.  family means a lot to me so it also has to mean a lot to him.
  • pasaway4eva@xanga

    yes, my SO should be at least civil with my parents. Respect should be there. If they treat my rents crappy then he's gonna be in major trouble. I'd listen to my rents' opinion but not base my decision jst coz of that.

  • Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga

    I wouldn't date them if they treated anybody like crap [well, unless they deserved it, but that's circumstantial]. But no, not parents.
  • xSayakax@xanga

    My parents'/family's opinion does matter b/c I want them to like my bf and vice versa.  This is the reason why after dating for a while you'll bring your SO to "meet the parents."  My family is part of my life and if my bf becomes part of my life, I'd like for him and my family to get along on friendly terms.  I respect and love my parents, so I would never date anyone, who would treat my parents like trash.  I ask that my bf respects my parents for raising me just as I would respect his parents for raising such a great son.  
  • jupiter312@xanga

    Their opinions matter not one bit.  Both of my relationships were had without their consent (and one of them, without their knowledge).
  • AznFier@xanga

    It matters a little bit, but not too much. It is my choice.
  • transparent_xx@xanga

    if the person was mean to my parents then it would matter, but if not it doesn't at all.
  • EverlastingSimplicity@xanga

    Disrespecting my parents is like disrespecting me. The end.
  • TruthNeverTold@xanga

    I refuse to date someone who treats my parents like crap, but since my parents don't really like anyone I could date, I don't care what they think. I just want him to understand the concept of respecting elders.
  • linguistic_nonsense@xanga

    If my boyfriend were bad talking my parents and saying all sorts of nasty stuff about them that would be the end of him because my parents are not so awful I cannot stand them myself. Yes, my parents have their shortcomings but nobody's parents are perfect so like everybody else, I have to take that into consideration and consider myself really lucky to have my parents. How much my parent's opinion of my boyfriend matter? It's important to me, yes, but it's not the end of the world. I would prefer to have their blessing of my boyfriend, but if I didn't oh well. I believe parents are entitled to their opinion but ultimately it's the child's decision and the child has to find out for themselves whether or not their partner is really their ideal mate.
  • kieri126@xanga

    i mean the way the parents are disrespected on that show is really shocking but again its all scripted...like seriously what parents would really allow that kind fo disrespect...let alone on national television.


    But I mean I dont think I could stay with someone who disrespected my parents. Thats just wrong. But if he was a completely fine respectful gentlemen and my parents decided to hate on him for some stupid reason...then no their opinions dont really matter....at all.


    theyre not the ones marrying him. I am.
  • ViciousGrin63@xanga

    That show is awesome.
  • joycemiles@xanga

    oh dear.... it's horrible if my parent's don't like my boyfriend. Right now, they're totally against my sister's boyfriend because he lied and wasn't respectful to them (my dad is always very protective so all my sister's ex boyfriends have been scared). So far, my dad has only complained of one thing about my boyfriend- and that's his grades, lol. I guess that's a good thing though. I'm glad my dad doesn't like him, and my mom and my grandmother trusts my choice of man... so they're happy for me :) I love it when my parents approve. Or even my family. My brother was the one that told me that I should get a boyfriend, and that I should choose him!
  • Pisces_Girl@xanga

    Yes. My Mom is an important part of my life, and so is my boyfriend. I'd like them to get along with each other. It just makes sense to me that they might just be in laws one day, and its far better to have in laws that are at least civil to each other, than in laws that  hate each other .
  • coconut_dream@xanga

    It matters very much to me. So much that if my parents didn`t like him and still didn`t after some time into the relationship, then I would have to reconsider the relationship. Who wants to feel guilty every time they go on a date with their SO? 
    If my parents don`t like him and have a valid excuse for it, then I have to say they have more experience; they are thirty years ahead of me. But for the most part, they are both extremely reasonable [especially for Asian parents, I have to admit], and if they didn`t like someone, even a friend, then there has to be a good reason.
  • TheNotoriousGOD@xanga

    i was half offended by that episode where the parents thought their daughter's bf was unfit cause he was nerdy.  but at least she showed them who's boss in the end =)
  • quotes3085@xanga

    @ pasaway4eva@xanga - agreed.
  • Shy___Away@xanga

    My parents' opinions absolutely do not matter. 
  • a_single_raindrop@xanga

    It matters to a certain extent. I would be thrilled if my parents loved my boyfriend. But they're iffy about him. I know they want the best for me; they see how happy I am with him and have learned to accept him. My boyfriend absolutely must respect my parents. Of coursee.

  • KaitlinElliott@xanga

    my parents opinions are VERY important when it comes to who i date. I grew up learning that family comes first, family should always be there, and always help when needed. some families are close, like mine, but some arent. for instance, i have friends who will notice a cousin or an aunt out in public and they will say "im related to them, thats my..." so and so. with my family, if i seen an aunt or cousin in public i wouldnt just wave or give a polite little smile, i would go and talk to them, greet them with a hug, and go about my business. so when you ask if my parents opinion matters, Yes, it very much does. If they werent comfortable with who i was seeing, it would feel out of place to bring them to a family dinner, or invite them to a family event. You have to give respect to get it, and if a guy i was seeing didnt give respect to my family, then they sure wouldnt get it in return. parents want to see us do well, and make the right  choices. Well, if they couldnt see that my fiance jeremiah was a good person, some one who treats me well, and makes me happy...there would be no way in hell that i would be with him. In my family, you are expected to respect one another, it works both ways, and if i didnt respect jeremiah, or he didnt respect me or my family, it would never work out
  • BoStOnIaNMoMmY@xanga

    My mothers opnion does matter to a extent, If she disliked my SO i understand that but that doesnt mean i would stop seeing him. Its my love life and everyone has there opinion but that doesnt mean i have to live by them.


    I would not be with someone who disrespected my mother. thats like disrespecting me.
  • UnopenedSuitcases@xanga

    if they were to be rude to my parents at all, i definitely would not be too happy about that.
  • midge4ever@xanga

    Any one who trash talks my parents can not and will not be with me. I love my parents. and I respect them. So anyone who calls my father cold hearted and my mother too blind to see what's really going on, they're gonna be sorry. Guess my ex learned that the hard way.
  • jeepgirl0385@xanga

    My parents HATE my bf. They have never even bothered to get to know him or anything. From their very short, very few and far between interactions, they decided they don't like him at all. That he is a know it all. That he is faking his injury (he is not, there is MRI proof, but i guess that isn't hard enough fact for them...). But yeah, they really don't like him.

    We have been dating for over 3 years now, and I just ignore it. Honestly, family isn't all that important to me, so it is really easy. My parents will often give me a hard time about him. I just yell back and get upset.

    He doesn't like them because they have judged him without really getting to know him. He gets really upset when they take it out on me.

    We just deal with it. I see it becoming more of an issue if we get married...but that is in the future. Like I said, my family isn't overly important to me.

  • FreeeVerse@xanga

    I value my parents' opinions on my boyfriend a lot. I may disagree with some of them, and I will defend him whenever I can, but I will listen to my parents nonetheless.

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