Wednesday, 29 July 2009
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My Friend Is Dating A Married Man
A friend of mine is currently in a relationship, but her boyfriend is always busy for her and they have some unsolved issues between them that sound quite complicated. They have been together for almost eight years, but the sad thing is that my friend doesn't feel the "spark" anymore. The bits of love are there but the romance isn't.So, my friend feels lonely sometimes, and I don't blame her. But she seeks "love" and attention from the wrong person. She is close (intimately close) with an office mate of hers. The problem is, that guy is already married and his wife works in the same company but in a different building. I've told my friend so many times that she would eventually end up hurting her own heart but she didn't listen. And so many things could happen in the future. Anyone might tell his wife about the affair (it's quite obvious that they are dating). Her boyfriend might know about it (and it'll get nasty). And I don't believe that guy (the married man) would want to stay with her if anything happens. He's just playing with her heart. Hey, if he has a wife and he's cheating, can you still believe him?
Okay, here's a little secret. I was in a relationship with someone's husband before. I had my own boyfriend, but I was quite close with that guy in my office. But soon my BF knew about it and he went mad; we almost broke up but he chose to forgive me and we were together again after that. I really regret it until now but that's another story.
So I know what it's like to be in a forbidden relationship. It's totally the wrong thing to do but my friend keeps telling me about that guy and how much they love each other, and that they should have met wayyyyy earlier before so that they could get married and blah blah blah. But honestly I think that guy doesn't truly love her anyway.
How do I tell my friend to stop? I've told her about my tragic history but she just wouldn't listen. It's kinda ironic, when I was dating a married man before, she was advising me to stop the whole time.
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About the Author
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- From: raiyaya@xanga
- About Me: I'm all about love and hate. Simple human.
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Comments (54)
Tell her she's acting like a stupid whore.
If you are unhappy with someone then you break up with them, simple.
And you should know better then to get involved with someone who is taken. Simple.
She is selfish.
Sometimes, people don't listen, and they need to learn the lesson themselves. Maybe this is the case. It sucks for your friend, but it could be that the only way she'll learn is to make her own mistakes.
She is acting like a stupid, selfish whore. Wow, one guy can't please her, so she has to go after a married one to fill her needs? Holy shit. Disown this bitch, she's a waste of skin to begin with.
sometimes people are just stubborn and wont listen and you have to watch them make their own mistakes in life to learn..
If she doesn't feel the spark with your boyfriend anymore, tell her to dump him. What's the point of staying with him if you don't feel it anymore and if you're out liking another guy?
Tell her it's quite obvious that he's not gonna leave his life for her, he's cheating -___- and he's playing with her heart. If she told you the same thing when you did it, bring that up and tell her that being involved with a married man does nothing.
Some people just have to learn the hard way. I say write her a letter, that you're very concerned for her, and that if she doesn't listen, just ignore her and let her live her life the way she wants. If she screws it all over, it's her fault. Good for you for learning your lesson.
Those kind of situations never turn out well. Even if Mr Married wonderful leaves his wife and marries his "true love" it doesn't end well.... Cause girls the truth is the truth and the truth is.... if he will do it with you then he will do it to you........
Now I've heard of girls who are single messing around with married men but I had no idea that girls in relationships were doing this too.
@steph - I totally agree.
People can be really naive sometimes. It sucks to have to watch your friend go through that, but if she doesn't want to listen to you, then she's just going to have to learn the hard way.
Fuck cheaters.
Your friend is going to end up hurt no matter what. There is no happy ending in the situation she's a part of right now. I would tell her to end things with both men, take some time alone, and start fresh.
Then you have to be harsher and more confrontational next time with her. Tell her she's being an idiot, that she never listens when the truth is right in front of her and to stop being so naive. If she still doesn't listen, try and bring in a friend. Or, if she still STILL doesn't listen, I suppose you just have to let it go. She's a grown woman, isn't she? She should know better, and if she doesn't, lessons like that will teach her the hard way if she chooses not to listen.
Sometimes, people need to make their own mistakes. Getting involved with married men is never a good idea, because no matter what, the man's wife will always be his first priority, not the other woman, as much as she wishes she could be.
I've come very (eerily) close to being involved with one myself, but the guy keeps pursuing me, not the other way around. I refuse to get together with him because it would be wrong.
Wow. That's a sucky situation all the way around.
The sad story is no matter which road you take in these situations, it will end in disaster.
Even in the event your friend ends up with this guy. 95% of the time the result is heart breaking.The truth is there is about 5 parts to a persons life which will fulfill you. But people are just excepting whatever life deals them, and the result is what you see around you in the world.It's a harsh reality in which people have no desire to change. So it is what it is. People live in the heart break hotel. You except life or you respect it, the choice is yours and only yours. Have a great stay at the hotel. You don't even have to leave your card key at the desk, our computer will take care of that for you in times of trouble.You've already told her she should stop, so you've done all you can. It's not your problem, you should stay out of it.
What a bunch of selfish drama filled idiots.
sucks to be her.
i hope his wife finds out and beats the shit out of him and your friend with a golf club.
all you can do is suggest to her your opinion...in the end its up to her to decide.
@steph - Yes, I agree. It is unfortunate, but often, people just don't listen no matter what we say.
if he's cheating on his wife for her, than if they supposedly "get together' ,he'll cheat on her with someone else.
she's acting like a little homewrecker.
Uhm wow.
@MangoWOW@xanga - I agree.
@C_UNIT42@xanga - I agree
You females need to stop being whores.
She's going to get hurt and it's going to be funny.
She won't listen. She's going to end up losing both of her guys because one is just in for the affair and the other is going to be hurt once he discovers what's she's doing.
She's going to have to see it play out. It hurts watching this but she will learn from it.