Tuesday, 28 July 2009
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I'm in College; He's in High School
I start college on the 24th; my boyfriend starts high school on the 17th. I don't really care that much, but I don't exactly know what to do about everything. He is kind of a flirt, and I'm scared that some girl is going to flirt with him back and he's going to forget about me. Don't get me wrong; I trust my boyfriend with everything I have, I just don't trust ANY of the girls at the high school. Should I have someone make sure he stays with me, or just convince myself he knows better? (ugh, I sound like I'm contradicting myself... but I'm not, I promise!)
Secondly, do I go to prom or homecoming? He told me he wanted me to go with me to all of those. But should I be one of those girls who's in college, but still goes back to high school for her boyfriend's dances? (Granted, I'm only going to a community college.) I'm just confused.
I love my boyfriend with everything I have, but I just don't get what I'm supposed to do with all of thisssss.So what is your opinion on this? Pleaseee help :)
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- From: licialee5
- Name: licialee5
- About Me: I'm 18 and taken. I love the outdoors and have a lot of bad luckkkk. Get to know me :)
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Comments (81)
you should trust your boyfriend, if he loves you as much as you love him I bet hes worrying about the same thing, you in college has a much greater chance of getting hit on than he does in high school, even though you yourself is convinced that you would never do anything to betray him, he is going to be more worrried than you are.
naturally being younger he probably feels inferior(my opinion) and that you'll find someone more compatible. Like I said dispite your determination to never leave him, it won't change the way he feels.
Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. If you want to be there for your baby, and you don't mind, go do it. It's sweet.
wait, hes JUST starting highschool? like he's 15?
but really. my boyfriend was in uni when i was in highschool, and it works out just fine. You just got to trust him and just think in your head all those other girls trying to flirt with him are nothing compared to you :D
Liz went back to at least two high school proms after high school. It's no big deal, I don't think. Just don't make a habit of it, and don't look creepy.
@silentwhim@xanga - i agree
do what ever you feel is right, if you trust him then you shouldn't worry about it too much. My boyfriend is going off to University this year and i have the same issues, except the whole going into highschool im already in highschool lol goodluck
I have never seen a couple five years apart, at least this early in years.
Kudos if you can keep it together, but just know the odds are against you.
- John
i was a freshman in college and my boyfriend was a senior in highschool, we started dating the year before. i know how you feel, he was nervous about me being around guys, because apparently my guy friends always started liking me and once someone tried to break us up. i trusted him, but i know what you mean about the other girls, i was scared some girl was going to sabotage things and he'd forget about me since i was also two hours away in college. things worked out mostly. we saw each other every other weekend if we could.
i hope things work out.
just have faith and trust.
You're in the same town, right?
Then kill that shit, no worries at all. If you love eachother, and you honestly trust him. You're gold.
If you trust him, that's all that should matter. Even if girls throw themselves at him, he won't budge with them. Just like if guys were to throw themselves at you knowing that you have a boyfriend, of course being faithful and trustworthy, you won't do anything to jeopardized your relationship with your boyfriend.
And yes, you should go to prom and homecoming with him even if you have to go back to high school for it unless you want him to 1) not go or 2) take someone else.
I really hate all these posts that say "I trust him completely, I just think he's going to leave me for some other woman." Of course they disguise it how this person did, "I trust my boyfriend with everything I have, I just don't trust ANY of the girls at the high school." News flash, if you are afraid he's going to leave you for another girl, then you don't trust him with everything you have. That said...
Tell him that you feel like if he flirts with a girl, she'll flirt back. Ask him how he'd handle that. Let him know you're not comfortable with it. Hopefully that will help you feel better about it.
If you want to dance with him, go to the dances. Don't worry about what everyone else is thinking when you go back. It's not like you're single and doing it either. You're doing it to be with your boyfriend. I don't see how that would be creepy at all. And see if he'll come to events at your college (if they hold any big ones). That's what makes sense to me.
Don't worry so much about him going after other girls. If he wants to, let him and break up. It's better than having a dissatisfied cheater as a boyfriend. And if he doesn't want to, then you know both that you can trust him and that he loves you, even if you're not there with him every day.
Homecoming and prom are just two dances, so as long as you're not showing up at the school every day when classes are over, I don't see a problem. There were a lot of students from my high school with college SO's who they brought to dances. In your situation, I would go.
The phrase - "It is what it is". It's not the other girls you should worry about. It sounds more like you have insecurities about yourself. If you think like this at a young age. I would suggest you talk to people in their forties and fifties. They more than likely had that same thought process. The divorce rate is huge, not to scare you. BUT!!! You don't change your thinking now, in 20 or 30 years you will be on the same line. You can only control yourself. You do not have the power to control another human being. We are all conformed as children and it is very devastating in our adult life. Your boyfriend might be a very nice man. But it is not he who is making this difficult for you, it is you!!! Look me up on facebook, I will help you out. Your situation is very in todays world. No-matter the situation a person is in, there is a way to fix it!!! Worries like this will affect your studies and future. Keep that in mind.
Go with him to all the dances. If you don't, he'll end up taking a girl from his school, and you don't want that, right? Community college [are you still in the same vicinity?] doesn't make it as difficult as a far-away university does to keep in touch with someone.
He's JUST starting high school? And you're starting college?
RUN! Run as fast as your feet can carry you. They are entirely different worlds.
If you really love your boyfriend with everything you have, then you wouldn't second guess yourself with all that you just said.
Is he a Freshman in high school???
If you're not moving away for school I don't think you should have to worry about it. You'll still see him and stuff.
My brother's gf went to his senior prom. It was on her 21st birthday. Granted, they are only 2 years apart...my bro was held back in grade school...I did find it humorous. Mostly b/c I don't like her.
@ColdBeverage87@xanga - Right.
This isn't the right time for you two to date, in my opinion. You're going into completely different chapters of life.
As far as not trusting him, erm...I mean, everyone but him, think about where you were in high school. High school is one of the times when you change most. From 15-18 you're a completely different person.
Whoa, you're starting college...means you're about 18 yo. If your bf starts high school that means he's about 15 max. It's a big difference............
"Don't get me wrong; I trust my boyfriend with everything I have, I just don't trust ANY of the girls at the high school"
that makes no sense at all.
he's a high schooler so i'm not exactly sure on the maturity he has. this is coming from someone who dated a sophomore/junior in my first/second years of college. he probably did flirt with girls, but we were in the same town so we hung out with each other every week. on fridays i would pick him up from school where his friends would see me and exclaim to him that i was so cute or something and then we'd go to the park or shopping center or get boba and just hang out. it was nice because we constantly chatted on gchat as well, so we were often in touch.
i also went to prom and homecoming with him. at his school, we jsut got a guest form and anyone under 21 is allowed to go as a guest to the high school. it's not a big deal, you'll just look like you're a student from another school.
good luck. hope it goes okay. but sometimes you might want to back off a bit until he's older.
Wow.
Grow up and leave the baby where he belongs.
You'll probably go to jail for this.
Wait a minute, you're kidding right??
You should word the post more clearly, because I don't think you mean that he is a 14 year old boy just beginning school. The way your wrote this makes it seem like you have problems and need to back off the kiddies.Â
However, if the age difference is more reasonable, then I don't think it's a problem. It might be kind of awkward but who cares? If you guys like each other then I think it's fine. But don't be surprised if things don't pan out the way you want them to. He might flirt. Be ready for that. But be ready for you to flirt too. You're going into a whole new environment with a whole new batch of guys. Don't be surprised if you sneak some peeks too.Â
Go to the prom and homecoming...i'm sure he would go with you if it were the other way around.
I agree with a lot of other people he probably feels the same way you do...the mature thing is to just speak to him about it. Get it out of the way before it bothers you anymore.
good luck.