I recently came across
this article on Men's Health Australia magazine. I don't know if I am overreacting or whatever but I can honestly say that I can see many things wrong with this article.
First of all, the main description says,
'From catching her eye to getting sex when you want it, we have six steps that will make sure you're the one who takes charge'. Getting sex when you want? The whole description pretty much is telling men that it's completely ok to have sexual control over women.
If the description doesn't make you squirm then I'm sure the picture might.
This picture is showing this woman tied up like a puppet, not only are her hands, tightly roped together, but she's half naked in her underwear. Some people might find tying up to be kinky or sexy but seriously, THIS isn't exactly the same thing. The woman is a sexual puppet for men. How is that right?
The article then goes on to list the 6 steps that guys should take to "take control" of a woman. It begins to explain that women are "attracted to socially dominant men, not pushovers."
"During the date play devil's advocate on a few subjects she talks about, but ultimately bring your argument back to her way of thinking. She'll think she's change your viewpoint." - Isn't this portraying women to be naive, vulnerable and stupid? It's pretty much saying that guys should play along to whatever girls say just to get in bed with them, because seriously, having a proper discussion during a date doesn't really matter as long as you can get in her pants at the end of the day right?
"From the look in her eyes you're guessing she has found out what really happened on that stag night. When she confronts you, stand up. This makes you look authoritative" - Because really, it's not about what you do guys, it's about how you cover it up. You could sleep with 50 women while being in a relationship, but as long as you cover it up and look 'authoritative', it's completely fine. *sarcasm*
Tip number 5 in the article is titled:
"Get her to go down on you"
It also begins with,
"It seems Pavlov missed a trick by getting his dog to salivate at the sound of a bell," comparing women to yes, you guessed it, DOGS.
"Tell her how good it felt and how wonderful she is at doing it. In typical Pavlovian fashion she'll begin to equate giving you pleasure with making herself feel good. And forget about the boredom and lockjaw."
- Put your own selfish needs before the fact that you are being told to treat a woman like a puppy. By praising her, and giving her treat, she'd want to be more of a slave to you, despite the fact that she isn't a big fan of "going down"
Tip number 6: "
Get her to treat you"
"If you donate to charity she won't know unless you tell her, which will make you look boastful. But if you donate blood you'll be given a bandage that says so. Stick it on your coat and you're basically saying you are healthy, generous and HIV-free. Give blood once, but wear the badge daily as a subconscious reminder." - Lie to her, lie to her, lie to her. As much as you can!
"When a woman meets a high-status man her natural urge is to supply him with food, gifts and sex in order to encourage them to form a commitment to her"
- Women love to throw themselves at men because we all must have zero self esteem and must be incredibly insecure so guys should definitely take full advantage.
I found this article to be beyond offensive. And to think that it's published in a fairly popular magazine here in Australia is quite appalling.
What do you think of this kind of article? Do you find it to be offensive to women?
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Comments (102)
I dunno. It's not very different from "How to get a guy to do what you want" behavioral modification articles that you see all over women's magazines.
YIKES. i do think it's offensive. cosmo has the femdom version of this shit all the time, which is why i've gown to hate cosmo.
Ugh. That was a disgusting piece of trash. I don't need to manipulate men to get what I want, and I'd rather them be honest with me than try to manipulate me to get what they want in return.
Uh, I see magazines in stores all the time devoting pages to telling women the supposed best way to manipulate me. Double standards here? :|
I think you took a lot of the wording way too seriously/personally, especially the Pavlov bit. Using the terms Pavlovian and such has nothing to do with calling women dogs... at this point it's a perfectly valid way to describe a psychological response.
If they had phrased it "A woman is more likely to enjoy giving you a blowjob if you are responsive and let her know just how much you like it," I highly doubt you'd have reacted that way. That's all they're saying, perhaps in an intentionally inflammatory way. They need to sell somehow.
@MangoWOW@xanga - exactly what I was thinking. I'm not fond of any of the "train your s/o" articles, but to be fair, it's not only men's magazines that do it. Plenty of women's magazines are guilty of the same thing.
can whoever wrote this write me a female version?
What I want to know is has this even worked without the luxury of getting their face slapped or getting dumped a few weeks after?
@MangoWOW@xanga - I was just thinking the same thing.
You girls started this whole "learn how to manipulate men in a magazine article" thing! "How to net the man" is practically featured in EVERY Cosmo issue. And you're offended when one Australian magazine does the same thing to women that you girls have been doing to men since forever? I mean, I agree that the article is total bullshit, it just seems strange to me that you had to make this about "how men treat women" instead of "how people of one gender treat people of the other gender", and that to keep it about men, you had to go all the way to an Australian magazine, rather than checking out your own local grocier's checkout line.
I have to agree with the few others who already stated something similar to this: Women's literature is just as guilty of this sort of underhanded psychological manipulation. Both are disgusting but I hate to see a feminist spin put on things unnecessarily.
All I've gotta say, as others have said, is READ COSMO. Absolutely the same thing. Do I love its juicy content & hilariousness... absolutely. But then we put men down for doing the same thing to women... To me THAT screams, "Yes, we are insecure, naive, and stupid because we can't handle taking the same thing we're dishing out."
Hey... bottom line is the scummy guys already know the tricks or will read it & take from these ideas. They'll always be the scummy ones. The good ones (where ever the heck they are) will read it, maybe laugh a little @ its ridiculousness, and still be the good ones. Just like anything else. No one who isn't in that nature to begin with will read it and think "HEY! This is an AWESOME idea!"
who the fuck cares its a magazine that you read for entertainment when their true motive is to sell you products. cool i'll also believe that i can increase my dick size by taking a pill
Cosmo is just like this except they turn the tables on men. If people were to listen to cosmo and that article we'd all be thinking the opposite sex stupid. If people DO think those articles are 100% truthful, then they do fit that mold themselves. However, the majority of humans do not think this way.
I'm just curious, did you make an account JUST to say how offensive you found that article on the site or were you already a member? I (maybe wrongfully) assumed you had an account since the first comment is worded almost exactly like you have worded your disgust here.
Cosmo does the EXACT same thing except for womyn dominating men. I hate it. I love all the sex tips they give but still, some of the stuff offends me.
"We are attracted to socially dominant men, not pushovers.
- That's not necessarily true. Most girls I know are not attracted to pushovers, but at the same time we like some degree of control. In relationships and dating it has to be equal - at least from the people I know.
The comments angered me even more. If you read them, you'll see a bunch of offensive ones. I'm not sure if they're sarcastic or serious, but the fact that I can't distinguish it makes it even more offensive for me. For example:
"Men need to wake up, and give women what they deserve.It's the payback time!!!"
- What does this even mean? What do we "deserve?"
I guess I shouldn't be talking since my gender does the same thing. I'm still a bit disappointed in both Men's Health and Cosmo for publishing this kind of garbage.
yeah so it's the male version of cosmo...jerks read it and the ones that follow that advice are lame. it's offensive, but the same goes for womens mags
Oh this is too ridiculous! I laugh at the men who actually believe in this. They'll be in for a big surprise when their masochistic charm earns them champagne in the face and a loud slap on the cheek.
Maybe it's a good thing that it offends women. Maybe it'll make women less naive to certain guys or mindsets of manipulation. Intention was to manipulate. It kind of goes on and to cover up the fact that there are people like that would mean more women would fall for it. Lies have been happening since the beginning of time.
how many guys will actually try this out and get slapped in the face (literally or figuratively) because it won't work as the article suggests?
i think you're giving too much credit to the article being accurate and/or successful. plus as many have mentioned, there are SO many articles that suggest that women should use sex as a tool to control ("100 tips how to make him love you forever" etc) men.
ANY writings to encourage CONTROL for men OR women is appalling. and i can't believe there are guys STUPID enough to take this article serious enough to try it out... it won't work unless they're VERY good at lying at a woman and of course, if they are that sort, they don't need a magazine to damage women in regards to going "down there." The reference to women being trainable like dogs is offensive but there had been literature in putting men on "short leashes" to "train" them out of bad habits (etc). *shrug* We are ALL human beings damn it. Seeing how there are STILL articles advising women how to "Get their men" with 100 plus tips, I'm not surprised there are tips of "controlling your woman."
These kind of "tips" are so lame. Seriously, how about men and women just treat each other with respect and dignity. Instead of using trickery.
Roflcopter.
I guess I would be somewhat offended if I was a woman. Then I realized that I wouldn't even be taking it seriously whatsoever, so no point in getting all pissed off. Controversy sells better than political correctness.
Omfg wtf bbq?? and all the other acronyms that you want cuz this was crazy. I mean that in a bad way of course. I find it sad really, the sexiest thing about a guy is not him being a liar who is a bad listener, and apparently a sex addict (shocking to some I guess), but when they love you by listening, comforting, caring, and showing that they love you with their actions.
Having sex with someone who you truly care is millions more pleasurable for one simple reason, because they are IN love.
I feel bad for the guys who believe this, or the women who let it happen, they have some growing up to do.
that's what I think :]
Yeah, I saw read that article on yahoo and was somewhat disgusted.
I don't think the second date advice was all that presumptuous. After all, you can't really count on simply showing dominance to get a woman in bed. A second date shouldn't guarantee a hook-up unless the woman is already ready to do so.
Don't women compare men to dog or pigs all the time? What's with the double standard? It's not like we can't use this advice. I'm sure we're not the only ones who don't enjoy giving fellatio all the time. We can't expect to constantly be on the receiving end of it if there aren't any perks for them.
I also highly doubt the last tip is about lying. It's always good to give back to the community and it's nice if they are shown gratitude for it. Any intelligent woman should know, though, that there's no possible way someone can simply donate blood everyday anyway and after one day, that "badge" will merely be a reminder to him. Any sucker who is willing to pamper their boyfriend day in and day out over donating blood ONCE is... Well? A sucker.
"When a woman meets a high-status man..." That's what we want, though, isn't it? High-status having a different definition for everyone. It could mean money, but it could also mean alot of other things. Good-looking, intelligent, charming, etc. Most of which are characteristics that we do find important in a mate to some degree.
"her natural urge is to supply him with food, gifts and sex in order to encourage them to form a commitment to her" Again, this is what we do. It's a part of the nurturing and caring process of a relationship. We do want to pamper our significant other to some extent, especially at the early stage of our relationship. This applies to men, too. They bring us flowers, etc. It shows interest and if we don't return the favor, they're not going to stay for long.
I thought this article was interesting. Some of it is ridiculous but I would definietly not be offended by it. There's no way my guy would get off the hook simply because he looked remorseful, etc. I think you might just be looking too deeply into this advice. If there are men who are desperate enough to follow what an article says rather than just being honest about who they are, it's obvious they aren't keepers and hopefully the woman will realize it eventually and leave them anyway.
I am thankful to be a lesbian!
It really is too lame to be taken seriously... These are grown up women they are talking about. Women who are not going to do anything they don't want to do. I wasn't offended at all (But that's cos I know I wouldn't fall for such cheap tricks).