Okay, so maybe not couples everywhere. But there are a few that manage to get infected with
"We" Syndrome.
"We" Syndrome (\'wē\ /sin-drōm\):
1. When a couple forgets about outside relationships and focus solely on themselves.
2. When a couple becomes one unit forgetting that they are two separate people
3. When a couple forgets that there is a letter "I" in the alphabet.
ex: We like rock music.
ex: We don't like that.
"We" Syndrome is an epidemic that is spreading around the world. It doesn't affect every couple. No. There are couples that remember they are two individual people. Two individual people that like doing different things. Two individuals where one may like motorcycles and the other hates them with a passion. Their significant other doesn't encompass their whole life but adds to it in a healthy way.
Couples infected with the
"We" Syndrome don't consider themselves individuals but a single entity.
Joe used to hang out with the guys and now he spends all his time with Tina. Jenn always went shopping every Saturday with the girls but now Brad occupies her time. Oh! But it you do want to hang out with either Joe or Jenn, their significant other has to come along. Who wants Tina hanging out at guys' night? Who wants Brad standing around when you're checking out the hot security guy? Exactly.
Yes, there are such things as a honeymoon phase but that phase is a lifetime to couples with
"We" Syndrome. They stop hanging out with friends, family gets pushed to the wayside, and they become each other's life. You know people like this. You may even have been friends but then you quickly realized that three was a crowd.
The sad thing is that couples with
"We" Syndrome are in strict denial. When confronted they will immediately get defensive. They will reply with such statements as:
- "I call you! I call you all the time! We talked just yesterday!"
- "Just because we haven't hung out in a while doesn't mean our friendship is over. We can hang out tomorrow. Promise!"
- "Look, our relationship is in a sensitive phase right now and we need to spend this time together."
And when you do finally get to hang out, all the person talks about is their significant other:
- "I just love staring into his eyes. They remind me of a stormy blue sea"
- "And you know what she said? Let me tell you! It was hilarious!"
- "Sometimes we can just read each other's thoughts"
And by the time they ask about you, you only get five minutes before you are hit with this:
- "Oh sorry, I have to go. Ben and I are going to spend some time together"
"We" Syndrome has been affecting friends and families for centuries. It can only be cured if the couple realizes they have it or the couple breaks up. How many times have you heard people say this line when asked why they broke up with someone?
-'I felt like I lost my sense of self"
I have include both the symptoms and the consequences of
"We" Syndrome. May this be a warning for all those that lose themselves within another.
Symptoms:- You talk about your significant other constantly
- You disregard other relationships (i.e. friends and family)
- You find yourself only having time for your significant other
- You become uninterested in the activities that used to bring you pleasure
- You replace "I" with "We"
Consequences:- You lose all your friends
- You become a stranger to your family
- You lose your sense of self
Have you or someone you know been affected by We Syndrome?
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Comments (36)
Nope, those around me seem like healthy normal individualistic couples.
@AznFier@xanga - yup. i dont really see any "we" syndrome around.
it's just so normal for people who are in the ealier stage of their relationships or maybe when they are so much in love but whats wrong with being so much in love? i'm deeply in love with my bf but i dont lose any of my friends.never. "we" syndrome is just something people create when they are feeling alone with no love.
i bring my boyfriend up in a conversation to scare boys off. lol.
xo
I see no problem with married couples considering themselves to be one unit comprised of two different people. Seeing yourselves as one doesn't necessarily include all of these more extreme behaviors and attitudes, which I would agree are a bit too much.
Aghhh, funny that you'd post this now. I'm definitely having this problem to the extreme with my roommate. She is completely inseparable from her bf. My friends and I have tried to talk to her about it, and she just gets mad and defensive. This makes noooo sense, she's even said herself that she can't "find a balance" between bf and friends, and yet she doesn't understand what we're concerned about. If I ever get that way, someone better do whatever it takes to bring me to my senses.
But, people in math use "we" all the time such as "We must show..."
So, can we use "we" when refering to us and another person. Sure beats saying "*sig. other's name here* and I..."
"We" syndrome only exists for the people who aren't in a relationship; they're the only ones who notice their friends doing it.
That was a fun read.
it becomes a habit when you're in a relationship. the more time you spend together the more the word "we" becomes the word you say to others about you and your SO. when i was with my ex, he and i would spend so much time together that people started to question if one wasn't with the other. we would do things all the time together with our friends. lol...i already said "we" in this blog.
Eh, me and my boyfriend aren't like that. And neither any of the other couples we know...
Oh man, my best friend has this.
It's ridiculous.
i only do that when we're together, if someone mentions some we have in common.
i certainly hope nobody thinks he's stapled to my butt or something.
Sadly, I'm never in a relationship long enough to even get to the point of possibly having issues with this.
guiiiiiiilty. i recognize that i have this problem and am in the middle of trying to correct it.
i think i have been there before... i dont remember o.O
my boyfriend and i don't say "we" but more often times our friends refer us as "they".
or they assume that one of us is with the other...
which is VERY annoying.
My sister and her boyfriend are like that, well my sister is anyway, I have no idea if he is that way or not.
I would never be like that with anyone, could never be like that, it would drive me insane.
and I'm def not either!
my new boyfriend needs his space, while my old boyfriend wanted to spend all his time with me.... i miss "we" syndrome
and when i see other people doing it, i recognize that their SO should be the most important thing in their life, so i think it's cute, not repulsive.
of course, moderation is the key to everything...totally losing yourself is no good. but if your social habits don't change when you have a SO, that's a serious problem, too.
we like that
Often time, my boyfriend and I refer to things we experience together in a "we" context. For example, when he talks to people about adopting his dog he says that "we" adopted her a few months back. But this is only due to the fact that I had a large role in the matter. There is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking in the "we." I don't honestly see the big deal.
You say something about your friend's not wanting who ever your dating to tag along, well your boy/girlfriend is your FRIEND. Why wouldn't you want them to accompany you when hanging out with another friend? I tend to hang out with my boyfriend and my friends at one time, yet I still see my friends separately. If people can't handle that then they aren't much of friends. You're saying that this "we" syndrome is only negative, well it's not.
So, lets just say I have this "we" syndrome. Because of it I got rid of my friend who actually wasn't my friend to begin with. She was jealous, end of story. All my other friends have remained close. Perhaps it's not a problem with the couple, but with the friend. Or family in some cases. To some people, family isn't as important as it is to others. And, possibly, maybe this person causes them to feel more of their own self then the family. This is true for my situation where my family shuns anything that is not to their liking. Now, I'm more expressive then ever. Although, granted, I may not be as close to them. I feel it's an even trade to lose closeness for a short time and gain knowledge about oneself that will last a lifetime.
I feel this is all subjective and one sided.
My best friend has the problem. I rec'd this, hoping she'll read it.
the only consistent person i see regularly every weekend IS my bf. but then it's final exam time for me and i have to prioritize who is worth my time; my best friend is out of town, many other friends have embraced their summer single status or are also participating in new relationships, thus i don't feel bad spending my free weekends with my bf.
however, i am NOT adopting the use of "WE" in replacement of "I." My individuality is far more important than to refer myself as part of a unit or a package. Not to mention, my bf and I are not very similar.... lol
Haha, I have a bunch of "you and I" blogs where I don't use the word "we". I am pretty conscious about this -__-
i dont hang out with my best friend of 12 years anymore unless her bf of 6 months is unavailable to be with her.