Sunday, 26 July 2009

  • Is Looking Cheating?

    A friend of mine and I were talking about cheating yesterday. He told me that he believes looking (but not touching) is NOT cheating but may just be inappropriate in certain circumstances (I'm not sure what they are though).

    I believe that looking is cheating. I believe that anything I am allowed to see and touch with my bf and what he is allowed to see and touch should not be seen and touched by anyone else!

    I guess I could see how only looking isn't cheating and I guess I could agree that it is just morally inappropriate when you're in a relationship but I still wouldn't do it.

    Do you think only looking is cheating or not? 

Comments (130)

  • ordinary_gir1@xanga
  • tsuimei@xanga

    Looking is human nature. People will always look, and if you're not okay with that, well, say hello to paranoia and goodbye trust.

    Looking happens, but what they do about it is a choice. If they glance when it's not inappropriate (during a serious conversation or a date, etc) and they don't act upon that in any way... you're golden.

    As with a lot of things, you either accept it or you can end it because it's not going to change!

  • damson9@xanga

    If looking is cheating, then I might as well be blind... :))

    IMO only looking isn't cheating.

  • joycemiles@xanga

    I think I would say that looking in itself is not exactly cheating, because there are many reasons guys/girls will look. I mean, if there is like a huge cleavage or a really really really short skirt, I'm sure it would be hard NOT to look at that. So mainly stuff like glancing shouldn't be called cheating. 


    If the look lingers... then that's kinda what I don't want my boyfriend to do, especially in front of me. I wouldn't call it cheating, but it would just make me not feel very satisfying. But then, I'm always self concious about my looks.

  • thetaterisawesome@xanga

    I don't think it's cheating, but it is inappropriate and very annoying.

  • xkthily@xanga

    I don't think so... Just look but don't touch, but don't stare obnoxiously.. because that would be rude and make any guy/girl who's with their SO feel cheated.

  • lucky_76028@xanga

    I think it all depends on the person doing the looking and what their looking at and how long they are looking. As for my ex-husband, he needed his eyes jabbed out. That's was his favorite pasttime. No let me correct that. That was his main job. Constantly looking for the next conquest. So yep, i guess you could say that looking is cheating, or at least it can lead to cheating.  Lucky

  • AznFier@xanga

    It's not cheating but it's not very nice to do so in front of your SO.


    Like seeing them naked I guess? Is what I assume you're trying to say, is kinda sketchy. Is that what you're trying to say? That would be very borderline cheating . . . =|
  • Gypsy_blood@xanga

    I'm not sure I understand your question, looking and touching are two entirely different matters, and you speak of things that only he or you should see and touch.  


    If you mean looking at someone else in the buff, privately, then it's probably cheating because what the heck are you doing alone with them naked?  
    But like, if you see a good looking person on the street, and all you're doing is admiring them, and not fantasizing or anything of the sort, well then it's not cheating.  It can be inappropriate at times, but I'm not sure I would go so far as to say cheating. 
    A lot of cheating is the intention behind.  If you're looking because you want something different than what you have, then you have a cheating mind.  If you're looking just to look, and are still wanting your sig. other, then it's not a problem. 
    Think of it this way -- if you would feel alright telling your sig. other exactly what you were doing, or wouldn't mind them doing the same thing, it's not cheating. 
    All relationships are different, you should really be discussing this with your sig. other, not us.  Communication is everything. 
  • tokyoexpressman@xanga

    Looking is a natural occurrence. We naturally gaze upon things that are pleasurable to our senses and the opposite sex is definitely something we enjoy. Both my girlfriend and I are guilty of having the "wandering gaze" but neither of us care because we both know that we're committed to someone already.

    And on a separate note, am I the only one who finds the "you should probably break up," type of Datingish advice really really annoying and not helpful at all?

  • InTheThin@xanga

    I'm not sure what you mean. I'd consider stripping down and baring my crotch to a guy friend of mine cheating on my boyfriend, and I'd consider him waving his penis in front of the face of a female friend of his cheating, though looking at attractive people is in no way cheating. -_- Staring for a bit is very disrespectful, but cheating? No.

  • pizo_Okie@xanga

    Looking isn't really cheating. 

  • doLc3@xanga

    I don't think that's cheating...wow 

  • wolvenchic@xanga

    I do, your explaination is the same explaination I gave my boyfriend about stripclubs.

  • xjadersx@xanga

    Well people naturally check other people out. It sometimes cannot be helped. I "check out" people all of the time, but not in a sexual way and I'm not attracted to them. It's just something people do.

    The one thing I do not accept is my boyfriend saying something about a girl around me. It makes my blood boil, and he knows that now. So he doesn't do it.

  • MissPixieGlitter@xanga
  • testubebaby@xanga

    just take out your boyfriend's eyes and stop complaining already

  • ayeHEARTyoo@xanga

    that's ridiculous. looking is not cheating. 

  • mmmhustler403@xanga

    I think that looking is not cheating.

  • soberheartss@xanga

    looking at what, and where.
    i dont think it is though.
    they're not DOING anything o_o ?

  • Pinky_Piglet@xanga

    Why would looking be cheating?
    Think about those girls who say how much they love Robert Pattison or whatever his name is and have a poster of the Jonas Brothers (oh god) in their room, but still have a boyfriend.

  • s_h_a_sha@xanga

    lol like looking at nice butt, legs, and boobs???

    i really dont mind someone looking and lol he should tell me too! we'll look together!
  • landlockedeyes@xanga
  • DeLasombra@xanga

    It would depend what he's looking at. Is he watching Ava Mendes walk by on the street? That's fine cause there is nothing wrong with staring at a walking work of art. If he's looking at a waitresses bum or something it should be alright. If he's bouncing his head along with the boobs at the strip club or getting a lap dance while he's sitting on his hands that's treading a line.

  • T0m03@xanga

    So if looking is cheating, then porn is too, right? That notion is just a tad bit ridiculous. I can udnerstand if he's looking at some random girl who is stripping in front of him in a shared hotel room, but otherwise, looking is just looking.

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