Saturday, 25 July 2009
-
Dear Dr. Datingish: Do I Have a Problem?
I'm going to get straight to the point here: my girlfriend and I hang out about 5 times a week. We've been dating for well over 2 years now, and every single time we hang out I want to get frisky. We don't have sex (we're waiting until our wedding night) but we have oral sex nearly every time we see each other.
The thing is, since she's a girl and all, she's not as easy to arouse as I am, which isn't too hard to do since I am, no joke, aroused by the very thought of her, even after 2 years. Ever since we started having oral sex, I want to do it every time we hang out. Sad or happy, stressed or unstressed. And since my refraction period is on the order of about 2 minutes, it's not unheard of us doing it more than once a day.
Don't get me wrong, I get her gears going from time to time, but it seems like it's only once a week that she's aroused and wanting me to do stuff whereas I'm in the mood all day every day.
Do most couples have sex or fool around every time they see each other? And for couples that live together or see each other every day, do you have sex or fool around about 5 times a week? My constant will to get down and dirty with my girl has gotten me in trouble many times, but I feel like I can't control it. She is, in all honesty, one of the most attractive girls I have ever seen, much less dated. Could that be the cause? Does every guy have this problem? Or am I some kind of anti-ED freak? Some guys can't get it up, I can't keep mine down!
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (44)
Eh, my husband and I used to, ahem, multiple times a day, every day, for a good long while. Now that we're married, it's usually 4 or more times a week, give or take. Which seems like a reasonable amount to me? I've got a high sex drive though, I'd be real frustrated if it were only once a week.
that's a hard one
(pun fully intended)
Ha! The last line was clever.
@testubebaby@xanga - Haha, right on.
Hm...get better at foreplay?
ha i dont think you have a problem my boyfriend is aroused a hell of alot more than me butthats not nessasarily a bad thing you know
Cold shower, if that doesn't work, imagine your grandparents having dry sex on your bed, rubbing each other with butter.
Hope that helps.
- Kunoichi
I get aroused more often than my boyfriend. So I can't help you here.
@KrazeeKunoichi009@xanga - lol -_-"
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - I agree. Foreplay is the key. Or start hanging out in public so you can't do that stuff... unless doing stuff in public is your thing too..... lol
@KrazeeKunoichi009@xanga - Oh god.
bad images...
@testubebaby@xanga - ha ha nice
Awww I think u gotta find her weak spots. I'm sure she has one. And use it to ur advantage so u wouldn't feel so bad abt always wanting it.
Also, try other things besides oral sex. maybe have a "hypothetical convo" abt other forms of pleasure (LOL) then surprise her and do it next time you get a chance.
Nway, still go for the weak spots. My guy knows it and it gets me everytime even if I'm not in the mood. Lol goodluck!!!!
Think of pots and pans when you are with her?
Maybe try finding out for turn-ons... All girls can be aroused and if you find her happy spots I am sure that having oral sex will be a lot more fun for both of you. You don't want to be the only one having fun... talk to her and try different things... Good luck I am sure everything will get better with a little more sexual communication... You being aroused on daily basis is a good thing, so there is nothing wrong with you...
Attraction definitely makes things difficult in a relationship when you're trying to abstain from having sexual intercourse. I've been down that road plenty of times. But sex is a healthy part of a mature relationship, and so is figuring out your sexual chemistry with your partner.
Its normal for my boyfriend and I to have all kinds of intercourse, multiple times a day, for however long we get to see eachother (he lives about an hour away from me but we stay at eachother's house for days at a time). A healthy relationship leads to a healthy sex-drive, or the other way around depending on your own personal views.
There are plenty of books out there that describe and illustrate the possibilities for pleasuring a woman but the best thing I find is simply to communicate with one another. A lot of times women dont want to have sex or their sex drive is low because they haven't found what works best for them. Oral works for you, but maybe she needs something else to get her going. If you want to wait to have sex until marriage then figuring out what else might work for her may be a bit difficult, but experimentation isn't a bad thing.
You don't have a problem. Some people just aren't as sexual as others. It's a problem if you stop having a social life because you need to do it again and again.
Enjoy it while it lasts!
If your girlfriend really has a problem with it, try masturbating more often, or finding a girl who appreciates your, ah, abilities.
I'm really glad no one's bashing you for having lots of oral but no sex before marriage, but I don't know how to help you.
Does she know that the reason you can't keep your hands off her is really because she's one of the most attractive girls you've ever seen, much less dated?
try masturbating before hanging out with her to chill yourself out for a while. it's normal to be super sexually attracted to your SO.
i get aroused more often than my boyfriend. hahaha. so i can't help you. sorry.
try getting some foreplay going on or tell her, you will do whatever she wants you to do. she can be in complete control of you.
xo
@TheSpaceBass@xanga - Dead puppies and grandma and/or the UN.
Hmm.... It seems like you have two options. 1) Either find a way to keep your *cough cough* down or 2) Find a way to arouse her. I think it's pretty normal to feel a sense of attraction with your girlfriend around.
I guess in my case, my SO and I have been with each other well over a year, and he finds the most creative ways to get me aroused. For example, he massages my back and helps me relax. haha :)
yew gots a problem boy. fuck her hard and raw with your thang yeeeewww!
I think you're right to say it's because she's really attractive to you. The girls my boyfriend were hanging out with before me weren't impressive and he is the same way as you so that must be it.
I kind of have the same problem, so I don't have any advice for you, sorry. =\
I would LOVE to have sex with my SO every day.
He's more along the lines of 3x a week. FML. =(
We have sex multiple times a day, and we live together. But, maybe you just need to figure out some more foreplay. See what else arouses her before you go down on her.
Think of your mom when you're getting it on. It will definitely calm you down.
Lol.
But when I was dating a guy "in state" for the first time, yeah, I want to get it on every time we see each other. Maybe you and I and others just have a high sex drive. Blaaaah.