Friday, 24 July 2009
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Am I A Maneater?
My story is that my boyfriend and I are on a break, for personal reasons. Both of us are somewhat seeing other people, but agreed it is okay if one night, we want to sleep with someone else, to get it out of our system. This is kind of a way to test the boundaries of our relationship.I've been on a few dates already that were normal; a nice dinner or going out to see a movie. It's nice to go out and spend time with someone or to be with my girls and flirt with a stranger sometimes. One guy started catching feelings and I stopped talking to him because I told him I did not want him to get hurt. I'm not looking to fall in love with anyone else, but I don't want to lead anyone on either. He was upset and called me a maneater.
According to Urban Dictionary, a Maneater is...
An intoxicatingly beautiful, charismatic, charming woman who puts a spell on you. Her beauty, wit, and charm make you fall hopelessly in love with her. You would do anything for her. As much as you love her, she doesn't give a sh*t about you. Though she pretends to feel the same way for you, she see's other men behind your back. When she leaves you, you feel devastated. You're life is forever in shambles leaving you wishing "you never met her at all."
I don't think this is what I'm doing. I'm not trying to lead anyone on, I try to make my story pretty clear. I also know people will probably say you and your boyfriend should probably break up, but that is not the case. (Don't ask)
Am I a maneater?
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- From: anonymish
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Comments (46)
no, you're not a maneater. its complete normal for someone to like you when you dont like them back.
I don't know you personally, so I don't fucking know.
How can a bunch of random people on the internet accurately answer this question? I believe what it comes down to is, you don't believe you are one, so move on. (And really - taking the urbandictionary seriously... well... hm.) Do what you want to do, the guy probably just called you that because you hurt his feelings. *shrug* People often lash out when they're in pain - so just accept it and move on, whether it be to a different date or back to your guy. Carpe deim!
So you and your 'boyfriend' are on a break but you're going on dates with other people for the hell of it; When the guy somehow thinks that the date you're on could lead to actual dating, you shut them out?
That's not a maneater, that's just mean.
Yes, you're a maneater, assuming you meet the criteria listed here.
At the very least, you're leading at least one of these guys (both?) on.
@Passionflwr86@xanga - I don't believe Merriam Webster has a definition for it. =P
I thought I was a maneater at one point because I kept rejecting these guys who were randomly told me they liked me and I had no idea. I don't think it was my fault that I didn't reciprocate their feelings, but nonetheless, I feel like they did nice things for me because they thought I liked them back and that can be seen as being a maneater - taking advantage of a man because of his feelings for you while harboring none of your own for him.
So no, that's not you, right? Though I do think it would be courteous to let any guy you flirt with know that you are not looking to be in a relationship [with them, anyway, but that's not important to mention].
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - I don't think having friends makes you a maneater. Unless you were casually juggling all those guys and going out on dates with them, I'm pretty sure you're just being friendly.
@Just_AJ@xanga - Yeah, I felt bad for not reciprocating, but I realized I wasn't doing it on purpose. In fact, I was quite oblivious. I think they mistook my friendliness for romantic interest.
as far as i see it yes yes you are
That word describes someone in my life just fine. Now, I finally know what it means, I'll use it more.
I think that description describes me? lol, damn. and I guess it's right for you to an extent but not too bad :)
you're a maneater if you set out to "seduce", then reject, these men on purpose. if it was an accident, then it's okay, but if you do this again *purposefully*, then yes, maneater status.
@goblinsinthemirror@xanga - i agree.
xo
No.
So you're on a "break" from your relationship right now? And can sleep/go on dates just to get it out of your system? Maybe it's just me, but that might ruin the relationship with your "boyfriend" in the future.
AND, I wouldn't say you're a maneater. Maneaters are women who search for men to seduce and do that stuff with.
@Just_AJ@xanga - Agreed. Couldn't have said it better myself.
Although I don't agree with your bf and your compromise (being on a break and saying you can sleep with other people) b/c to me that would actually hurt your relationship in the future, I don't think you are a maneater. I think the guy called u that b/c u rejected him and he was just pissed. According to that definition you gave, Maneaters are women, who prey on men and once they're done with their fun, they toss them aside like trash. You, on the other hand, made it clear to the guys that you have no intention of falling in love or hurting them b/c ur still emotionally attached to your bf.
I don't understand when couples go on a break and say u can see/sleep with other people b/c to me that sounds just like breaking up, but making the process slower and less painful. I never did like those kinds of relationships b/c in my opinion, clear is better (either you're a couple or not). There shouldnn't be any, "oh...I'm tired/bored of you and let me go have some fun, but i'll come back." To me that's treating each other like insurance; a plan B just in case plan A fails. That isn't love. If a couple is in love, then you shouldn't feel bored of each other, you wouldn't want to experiment with other people and if there are uncertainties, then is it worthwhile to forces yourselves to stay together? (This is just my opinion)
Maneater describes someone I know and if you're anything like her, I feel sad for you. I don't think you are a maneater from what you've said in this entry, but if you are sleeping with other people and dating them, doesn't that hurt your boyfriend's feelings ? How do you feel about him sleeping with other women ?
no. that guy is just silly for saying that
No. If you were a maneater, then you would have no consideration for him developing feelings.
Why can't i ask....now really wanna know what the break is about. aaggghhh
As long as you're telling the guys you don't want a relationship then it is okay. You're not a maneater. Nope nope. You're just getting sex/flirty fun times with the guys. Hahah.
"maneater" sounds so derogatory, doesn't it?
You know, what you do with your main guy is your perogative -- if you guys have worked out an agreement, then that's that. In terms of any other guy, I guess as long as they're made aware that you're not in for anything serious from the get-go, then you're in the clear. Should these other dudes develop feelings for you, who's to blame you for being so awesome? Some folks are just bitter lol.
I do, however, understand if you feel a bit slighted by his statement, or if you feel bad for hurting him. It was unintentional -- anyone with an iota of intelligence should be able to see that, but it's hurt nonetheless, and no non-psychopathic person goes out of their way to inflict hurt on another body.
us women are maneaters in our way.