Yesterday I watched the season premiere of Dating in the Dark on ABC, and it brought up some interesting questions. If you haven’t heard of it, let me give you a brief summary of the show:
Three girls and three guys live in a house for four days, but are kept completely separate. They meet each other and go on several dates in a darkroom - it is pitch black and they can’t see anything. After spending some time together, the host reveals their match - the guy or girl whom the “experts” determined was most compatible with each of them. At the end of the four days, each person gets to choose the one they want revealed. They meet in the darkroom and, one at a time, they are revealed to each other. After the reveal, they choose to either meet on the balcony and continue dating or leave immediately.
[You can watch the season premiere at
http://abc.go.com/ under the tab “free episodes.”]
In this episode, the matches were as follows: Christina and Seth, Leni and Stephen, and Melanie and Allister. All of the contestants were drawn toward their match and choose him/her to be revealed at the end of the show. The decision whether or not to meet each other after the reveal is the whole point of the experiment. Did seeing their match completely change their opinions and feelings, or is the connection they felt in the dark more important?
WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS. If you didn’t (or don’t care to) watch the show, this is how the episode ended.
Leni was really struggling with her decision. She felt a connection with Stephen, but her surprise over his looks had shocked her into indecision. After Stephen endured an agonizingly long wait on the balcony, Leni showed up and they drove away happily into the sunset. Christina had an even harder time with her decision. She was a bit disappointed by what she saw during the reveal and it was obvious that looks meant more to her than the other two girls. She debated long and hard about whether or not Seth’s appearance or their connection was more important. Visibly upset at her shallow behavior, she decided to go, leaving Seth standing alone on the balcony, watching her depart from the house. Finally, Melanie was first onto the balcony, worried about being rejected by what she considered such a handsome guy. At last, Allister shows up and they too left looking happy with their decision.
What do you think about Christina’s actions? Do you sympathize with the importance she places on physical appearance? Were you shocked that she left just because Seth wasn’t as handsome as she imagined? Do you think she made the wrong decision and will regret it after the fact? What would you have done if you were surprised and/or disappointed by how your match looked? What is more important: someone’s personality and your connection with them or how they look?
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Comments (36)
Sure it's called shallow, but part of connecting to a person is seeing their face, their gestures, which is a part of getting to know them just as much as a long conversation.
Oh well...
Both...? How could I date someone who I could never find physically attractive?
I think guys have it pretty easy with me anyways; my boyfriend of 2-3 years was probably a 5 or 6 out of 10 when I first saw him, but after being with him for so long, I think it was his personality that makes me now see him as more like an 8 or 9. He's so hot.
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - Agreed. The way some people carry themselves, coupled with their looks, can be a huge turn-on or turn-off.
I'm a varying shallow person.. Or should I say I base the caliber of physical appearance that I will accept based on the other people in the surroundings.
Regardless of what people will admit, looks always matter to an extent. Physical attraction has to exist.
Physical attraction is a part of the equation to some extent, though it's never been the most important one to me. There needs to be a connection, and while the guy doesn't need to be a great looker or anything, I DO need to not feel repulsed when I look at him.
I think it would be funny if they put a random fat chick in there. Like a real whale of a girl on the show just to surprise someone a lot hahaha.
It kind of shock me but then it didn't. He acted like he was SOOO hot but he just looked average to me, tbh. But, it was kind of shallow but even if their face was average, I go for more of the personality. Like Dougie when I first saw him, it was personality that struck out to me big time and his looks were an 8 or 9. He isn't the most handsome person out there but he sure is not ugly.
Both. Neither needs to be perfect, but they can't have either a terrible personality or look hideous looking. Most people can fit in the average category proper grooming so it's not such a big issue...
I watched the show and I really didn't think it was that interesting. None of the individuals picked were that good looking, they were all very average. Personally I do think physical attraction is important, but only to a certain extent.
Crazy shows these days... *sigh*
For me, it's initially the guy's looks and then when I get to know him I (and if I like him) I eventually start to like him. Looks don't play the only role for me, but they do play a minor, if not a major, role. I'm more interested in personality, because I know I won't be able to converse or even stand a hot guy that is incapable of keeping up with an intelligent conversation.
@SupperMick@xanga - they are allowed to touch each other so I'm guessing it wouldn't be that big of a surprise...no pun intended.
Even though looks probably shouldn't matter, they do. Do I think Christina did the right thing by leaving? No. He wasn't that bad looking. She was gorgeous, yes, but she had made a connection with him so it's sad that she couldn't just meet him on the balcony, it was just a meeting, not a marriage proposal. Instead of thinking so hard about what to do, I think she should have given it more time with him to see how much it bothered her.
You need physical attraction along with chemistry before you date someone. But yeah crazy reality shows nowadays.
The norm for attraction is appearance first and then personality. It is difficult to switch around because our development was not taught that way. Our society focuses a lot on person's appearance even though we are told that personality of the person is more important. I believe our brain play tricks on our minds when we get to know a person's personality before seeing them for the first time. When you get to know a person's personality first before seeing them, we are curious of the person's appearance. Our brain would put a false appearance of what the other person would look like. We tend to have such a high expectation of the false appearance that when their appearance doesnt meet what we thought, we are disappointed.
@ColdBeverage87@xanga - can we touch their face? Haha sorry this just reminds me of all those "blind" people and ugly people jokes. x__x
This show really reinforced the idea of how important looks are when attracting someone...but I think the lady who declined her date would have looked so good with him and that they would have been well suited for eachother...and he wasn't even ugly, he was very charming and reminded me of Big from Sex and the City.
I don't blame her. she has a right to be with someone that she finds attractive. a man would have done the same thing.
Honestly, I believe in both as well. You have to find the person that you are physically attracted to and compatible with. I wouldn't call it shallow, but rather a preference b/c everyone has their own perspectives and what you find attractive might not be what other people find attractive anyways. Everyone does have a right to choose their partner.
It's evolution, or survival of the fittest. The ones that are most attractive have the best physical genes to pass on to their children. A girl can't force herself to date someone she is by no means attracted to simply because she doesn't want the stigma of being shallow. What happens when they get to the stage when they're supposed to be more intimate? At one point or another, you need to feel SOME kind of physical attraction to your partner or it will never work because the lack of intimacy between partners means the lack of repopulation.
I think if I were actually on the show, found out what my guy looked like, and didn't like it, then I'd just go up to the balcony, but afterwards, I probably wouldn't stay with him. Like, unless we had an AMAZING connection. Looks are important, they're not everything, but how can you honestly be with someone if you don't find them physically attractive at all? You don't have to be a perfect 10, but can I atleast get a 4? Lol. Actually, I'm not really picky with guys, so he'd have to be HIDEOUS. Lol.
i think that is a really good idea and i would definately go on a "dark room" date because seriously i am not a "omg i wont date and "ughly" dude kinda girl....and i am pretty self concience about going on first dates because of how awkward they can be so doing it in the dark would really help me open up a bit more
well, physical attraction, is, and has always, been an important part to mating rituals.
animal world for instance. i really dont think i HAVE to elaborate on that.
it doesn't ahve to be OMG HAYDEN PANETIERRE STATUS or OMG YUNHO STATUS... just has to be passable.