Fmylife.com contains short day-to-day life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML".
Here are our favorite five submissions from
F*** My Life this week:
Today my boss sent out an email with the subject line - Urgent. He accidently left the body of the email blank. I replied to all staff "You're firing blanks Peter". I later heard that his wife once got drunk and told everyone that they couldn't have kids because he has a low sperm count. FMLToday, my boyfriend and I had sex. We did it in his bedroom where he had all of his anime models on display. I accidentally knocked over one of his models and it fell on to the floor. He got angry and kicked me out. Apparently, making his models look good was more important than us making love. FMLToday, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FMLToday, I got a letter in the mail about my periodic health assessment for active duty Soldiers. I came back positive for two curable STD's that are extremely common on Fort Polk. I haven't had sex with anyone but my wife. FMLToday, to get back at me for breaking up with him, my ex-boyfriend thought it would be really funny to post semi nude pictures of me on Craigslist. To top it off, he decided to give all 200+ people who responded to my ad my home phone number. I'm getting non-stop calls from horny freaks. FMLokay, that last one is so horrible.
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Comments (19)
#2
wow those all suck!
I couldn't help but laugh.
.. these ones arnt too funny.
the one about the girl telling her bf to picture her naked is sad... like seriously, thats a high level of douchitude right there.
:( So mean!
The last one was sooooooooo mean. :(
i`ve read funnier . but that last one was horrible . and that`s exactly why i would never take nude pictures of myself and give them to anyoneeeee unless i was married -_-
I would kick the shit out of the guy in the last one.
Oh life! :)
@AnchorsAwayx@xanga - LOL @ ''douchitude'', never heard that but it might be my new favorite variation of douche!
LOL #3 & #5. So bad yet so funny.
lol @ the first one.
omg!
xo
LOL
Oh man, the last one is horrible yet so funny!
Wow. Lot of mean ones, this week... and honestly, #2 - anime models? Who does this? Sheesh... Somehow sex / anime models just don't coincide, in my brain... what kind of a kid was she having sex w/??
3rd one is my favorite. The last one is just plain messed up.
The last 3... omg LOL
Come on! Why WOULDN'T the guy from #2 be mad? Anime figurines are HELLA expensive! D:
- Kunoichi
I feel worse for the AD soldier than the girl in the last one.
Getting a new phone number is easier than getting rid of STD's from a cheating whore :(