Good thinking. I really hope that you can work things out! 

"I'll say we have sex about two or three times a month, and I do enjoy
it. Is that not enough? I just don't want our relationship to be based
on sex."

No, that isn't enough.  Sorry, but having sex once a day does not mean your relationship is based on sex.

I know women and men who have divorced for not getting it more than 2 or 3 times a month.

You should know that my comments have nothing to do with the rest of the story, just this one part. Try the counseling with him, it can't hurt. Good Luck. (:

I'd (personally, mind you) consider 2-3 times a month not nearly enough. Several times a week, or even more than once a day, has nothing to do with whether or not your relationship is "based on sex".

Your views of how often you should have sex to maintain a healthy relationship clearly clash with your boyfriend. Frankly, once every two weeks is not that often and he's probably trying to coax you into more because he thinks it's too awkward to just say it up front. This is something you need to sit down and have a serious talk with him about, because it's not a problem that is going to go away.

Quick edit - I'm not saying you're wrong for thinking 2-3 times a month is fine. It's a personal thing, and your boyfriend will have his own views on that matter that probably differ with yours and mine.

I don't think your relationship is based upon sex just because you do it everyday of the week or whatever, but more of what you're looking to get out of the relationship personally. I'm not saying your view on how many times you get funky a month is wrong. It's your viewpoint, and even so it's yours and his sex life, not mine so it's none of my business. I, like most people, think sex is great but I want more than just great sex as do you. I'm sure that you guys do more than just get funky everyday. You go out and do things that don't involve taking your clothes off and getting funky. Even so, there are emotions involved in this relationship not just feelings and sensations. So that leads me to believe that your relationship isn't based on the sex. 

I agree with everyone who has commented before me, but especially Viserys@xanga.
Both my partner and I desire sex frequently and value our sexual connection as highly as our emotional, mental, intellectual, spiritual (etc) connections and wouldn't be satisfied with having sex only two or three times a month.  As it is we have sex about two to three times a week and don't find that enough.  Regarding abuse... Both of us have been sexually abused and overcome that to see the pleasure in doing sex "right".  Our relationship isn't "based on sex" by any means; we just enjoy that connection.  It's just another connection.  Yes you need to speak with him about what he's looking for and assess if you can meet that need, or compromise... but perhaps what it comes down to is a shift in perspective.  Take it off its pedestal, see it as another connection (talking with your bodies, perhaps?) and try to find a compromise.  Counseling is always a good idea, though -- Props to you both for being open to it.

Not a bad idea. And I totally understand and respect where you're coming from.

(Although I agree with above commentors that 2-3 times a month is a little stingy...I mean, unless you're going through a stressful/busy/emotional time in your life, sex can sometimes be healthy for you both! I know that being constantly bothered about it can make it a lot less interesting, though and so stingy is a pretty fair reaction.)

Remember that some habits are hard to break... especially sex-related ones (for males and females) so be patient (if you can).

Good luck!

2-3 times a month?

Hope things work out for u guys!

If you had put in the amount of sex you have every month, I think the comments wouldn't have been so much of "Break up, he doesn't respect you" as "Have more sex and he'll quit."

@Leitey@xanga - agreed :)

2-3 times a month of sex sounds a little odd to me, cause most couples have it every day, or every other day. its a healthy amount, and if you're attracted to that person, you should enjoy sex with them. sex everyday doesn't mean the relationship is based on sex, it means you're crazy about each other, and you express that to your SO physically. you're not the only one who's been sexually abused, so there's other people who can also relate. and yes, his sexual advances are annoying cause he knows about your past, and you don't feel comfortable with his initiatives, or else why the heck would you be posting about it, right? so there's something there that's obviously disturbing about his actions, and yes, he should totally respect you. but since hes done it so many times already, i guess you giving him another chance he doesn't really deserve is okay. we're all just watchin out for you, not him.

Thank you to everyone!!!! You all have given me great advice, & helped me out alot. :) y'all rock.

i think the counseling would be a good idea, but before doing the counseling try compromising or something

for a guy...2-3 times a month..is torture, if things were there way theyd have it like twice a day. but if your not wanting it every single day, cause i do understand that it could get old or whatever. try once or twice a week. maybe you'd even start liking it more.