Thursday, 23 July 2009
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Will FWBs Only Lead to Heartbreak?
The other day, a guy friend of mine invited me to chill with him. Now, this guy and I have known each other for over a year, and the feelings are very mutual although we flirt like crazy. We also have dating history, but I know for a fact that things will never accumulate into something more again because he's just not the kind of guy you bring home to meet your father.Anyway, after a while, we begin to get closer to each other. And the next thing I know, we're fooling around in the backseat of his friend's truck. (classy) And the next morning, normally when I mess around with guys, I end up regretting it and hating myself for falling into a guy's trap. Instead, I actually liked the idea of being/having a "booty call". He's even coming over next Saturday because I enjoyed his company so much.
Two months ago, my ex, who I cared deeply about, and I tried getting back together. But he, for the third time, screwed me over. And I'm still recovering - so I guess that has a lot to do with my actions. Even so, I think it's okay because I'm single and I might as well have fun while looking for someone else to love. My emotions for my friend will not return, at least I don't believe they will so long as we keep this up.
Have you ever had a sex buddy? If so, do you regret it? If not, do you feel that a sex buddies will only lead to heartbreak?
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- From: herecomesthemoon@xanga
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- About Me: it's not easy being easy
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Comments (45)
Just don't get involved emotionally and it should be fine. It will be fun while it lasts!
Some people can handle not getting attached to people but that's mostly when you dont talk as much. The more you get to know someone, the more a bond can form, so that makes FWB hard. It may seem fun but it's not worth it to me. I'm more a serious relationship person.
Some people can handle it and some people cant. I have had many fuck buddies/FWB and I'm in one right now. I've been perfectly capable of doing this without getting my heart broken.
Just remember to draw up definite lines and DON'T cross them. The moment you do let your FB know and (best advice) separate for a while.
he's a rebound, whatever. you don't need to think so much about it.
...is this gonna start another slew of FWB posts? lol
i guess it depends on what you, personally, are capable of dealing with. i dont think i could. but im not gonna judge anyone or anything, do wat you want! lol
it's a dangerous game you're playing. you may not be falling for him again, but how do you know he isn't falling or won't fall for you?
If you consistently have sex with one person, even just a friend, emotions are absolutely going to get involved at some point. No fifty-year old has ever thought, "I'm sure happy I had that sex buddy in college."
Sex buddy. The idea and concept of it seems intriguing but I have never go there. I can't go there. I get emotionally attach way too easy!
@quicksandbuddy@xanga - No fifty-year old has ever thought, "I'm sure happy I had that sex buddy in college." Can you back up this statement?
I did it. It ended badly. Still dealing with it... I don't ever recommend it.
No "I Love Yous"... I guessed there won't be heartbreaks~
I have no problem not getting attached. It's happened twice after a break up and I thought it was a good idea. I mean its just sex and its better to be monogamous than go do random people all the time. But both times they ended up trying to act like I wasn't allowed to end it so I could date. I think girls have a really tough time not getting attached. I'm never doing that again.
I've had some friends that I've slept with in the past. I didn't consider them "fuck buddies" then and don't consider them that now when looking back on it. I was very emotionally connected to these people, each was one of the people closest to me at the time, and we knew what our interactions were and weren't and exactly where the line was. I've been able to keep all these friendships and we've all been able to respect (and express happiness for) each other and our present relationships. I've seen zero jealousy and zero regret. I almost recommend this, to really self-aware people. I definately don't recommend this for people who put sex on a pedestal or confuse sex for love or don't understand the "lines" in their relationships.
Like @jeezshoua@xanga said "The idea and concept of it seems intriguing but I have never go there." I couldn't bring myself to have sex with someone without my emotions getting in the way. I guess, I don't see the point of having sex without any romantic feelings. Yes, sex is sex, but I don't think that way.
He sounds like a rebound more than anything.
xo
I think it's kind of skanky.
But whatever...
all me mates are sexy buddies. even the GUYS, yeeeewwwww!!!!!!!
@damson9@xanga - There don't have to be 'I love you's' for there to be heartbreak..
Personally, I know I could never do it, although I have thought about it. I know I would get attached, and I would end up broken hearted without a doubt. It works for some people though. If all you want is no-strings-attached sex, then I would say go for it. It's not skanky, it's not like you're cheating on somebody, and it's better than picking up randoms from bars and parties and hooking up with them, no?
If you can trust both yourself and your possible FWB to not get attached and develop feelings other than sexual, that's your decision.
Its hard not to get emotionally involved when it comes to FWB. I did that but we couldn't get our feelings out of the way.. Some can end up badly, but some can really end up in a good way, like being a couple!
I guess it depends on who the guy is. If he's a close friend, end it! But if he's not, hey, who am I to say? :)
I've had a couple FWB in the past, and none of them ended badly. I am usually capable of seperating my feelings with the physical though, except for with my last 'booty call'... We got married 3 years ago =)
@pasaway4eva@xanga - haha! I married my FWB!
It's awesome until someone gets feelings for the other person.
I just tried having a buddy, but i kinda regret it. cuz we really are buddies now.. =/
It leads to heartbreak if someone gets attached. Which was what happened to me, and I've regretted it ever since. :\
Sounds like you're having fun, and you both know the boundaries. So enjoy.
YES YES YES!!! it will lead to heartbreak.ugh one partner usual ends up going into it a bit more. unless your experienced with that kind of thing then you know how to separate emotions. and its not skanky to want some fun without strings. im currently in one. and i thought hey i know i will never date him, neither do i want to. but then why do i get mad when he doesnt call when he says he will. or not care to keep out little 'dates' .ugh i got in too deep.
It may or may not. It's fun while it lasts.
But I had a fwb and I didn't even know I was getting attached...until it was too late. Ended terribly, I have to admit.
Good luck with whatever you decide.