Miss Walrus
One of the greatest - & maybe actually THE greatest - thing about relationships are the fact that they teach us lessons. No matter how painful & downright terrifying that can be, it is also a necessary - & sometimes exciting - part of life.
My first long-term BF taught me not only how to spike my short hair perfectly, but also the fact that 16 is way too young to make plans for the future, LDRs are a TON of work & that if somebody spends 6 years with another person, both parties are destined to change.
My second real BF taught me that you can find something in common with people who seem very different from you on the exterior, that the Beatles' are hands-down the best band ever & if someone doesn't call you until after midnight every night to hang out - it means that they are really only after one thing.
Even the third guy I'm seeing now has already taught me some uber important lessons.
He's taught me how it feels for someone to actually like me based on mutual compatibility (sorry for sounding like an eHarmony commericial!). He also has taught me that some of the behavior I used with my exes is not fun when you're on the receiving end - & he introduced me to Mambas. TOTALLY better than Starburst.
So I'm opening this topic up to you - what important lessons have your SOs taught you?
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Comments (42)
Not to be clingly!!!!!!!!!
Talk.
-- A guy can just be incompatible with you. He doesn't do anything wrong, persay, he's just wrong for you.
-- Follow your heart, no matter how stupid it may seem, and how many people think it's stupid. Because in the end, you have to be happy, and you're going to miserable if you don't.
-- Communication is the key to a healthy relationship.
-- Track records don't necessarily mean EVERYTHING...but it's definitely something to look out for.
-- There is always a reason behind cheating.
-- I tend to overanalyze.
-- A "hopeless case" is only hopeless because you think it so.
my first one taught me that if a woman has to chase a guy, it wont work out. and if he lies to you and cheats on you through out your whole relationship, no amount of time will make him change.
my second one taught me that no matter how compatable, how perfect you seem to be while with one another, that even the most perfect of situations can sometimes fail.
my third one taught me that for real, when you're not looking you will find someone, that if a man truely wants you, he'll make an effort, any effort to be with you, he'll accept you for you, accept your past and accept your current situation and love you reguardless.
basiclly, ive learned, if you have to chase a man it wont work. if hes the one doing the persuing, give it a shot .. it might be worth your time
I had a very scary boyfriend a few years ago who I finally am starting to forget. It started off so well, but as time went on, all he did was threaten me, yell at me, and at one point, make me pass out from the stress he had caused me. Needless to say I felt horrible and so stupid for not having left him sooner. But now that he's finally gone, my head is clear. I no longer feel the need to have a boyfriend. I am cool with being by myself. I have more free time and can hang out with whoever I want. If someone asks me out, I'll accept if I want, but I'm not charging after guys left and right in the hopes of clinging to someone to make me feel whole again. I'm happy as a single lady (yeah, like the song). I'm no Bella Swan.
Nothing...nothing at all.
Keeping a woman takes hard work and time
This is a very true and thoughtful post. I also love Mamba! XD.
I learned a few things from my ex about myself.. and about the difficulty of LDR too.
She thought I was really clingy and smothering sometimes. I guess I learned something in that regard, that I need to cool down.
I also learned never make your SO the meaning of your life and your number 1 thing. Have other things going equally as good in your life as your relationship. The day mine ended I felt like the world was about to end. Now I'm looking in many different directions, so I never fall so hard if I were to break off another relationship.
The first relationship taught me that nothing good comes of being desperate.
The second one taught me that loosening up and enjoying life is more fun than always worrying.
With the third one, I learned that dating someone I met online (we met on Xanga) wasn't necessarily dooming me to failure and that long distance relationships WERE within my realm of capabilities. I was constantly encouraged to be more independent, more generous, more organized... just to be a better person in general.
Yep, the third one was so perfect, I married him :]
taught me how to fuck them raw, hawt and sweaty yeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww
1st one taught me that having individuality is super important for a relationship to be healthy and happy.
2nd one taught me that life is too short and should be enjoyed thoroughly, versus worrying.
3rd one taught me that opposites do not attract.
4th one (current) taught me what 1st and 2nd did (review), and also being similar in interests, goals, beliefs, what have you, helps a ton. And having great communication (which we have) helps a shitton.
This is one of the best posts I've ever read - it actually made me smile. As for lessons learned... theres just too many to think about - but mainly how fickle people, including myself, can be.
I talked to one of my exes a year and a half after we broke up and he told me that he never knew how I was feeling. That's when I realized how closed up I was towards him. Well I also had a reason for being that way because anytime I told him something he brushed it off. I tell my current boyfriend everything and I even think sometimes he gets tired of hearing me talk, which is odd for me because I'm usually so quiet.Â
My first boyfriend taught me never to let anybody break you down. Nobody should have the power to do that.
My second boyfriend taught me that is doesn't matter how nice the guy is, if he can forget about you for a month straight and not see anything wrong with it until his roommate points out there's a problem, he's not the one you're supposed to be with.
-Katie
I disagree.
I think there are better bands than the beatles.
1st one taught me that when guys say they love you, they mean it at the time, but it's not an eternal statement, and they might change their hearts later on. That took me about 3 years to figure out.
2nd one taught me that love doesn't always work out when it should, when you're both amazingly compatible and loving but other factors don't work in your favor [distance, age, where you are in your life at the time]
Open mind. Just because you are not agreeing with something, doesn't mean it's wrong.
you can never really tell 100% whats going on in your significant others head...
I've only had one relationship so far:
He taught me to have confidence in myself and do whatever my heart wants to do. Also, that whenever guys say they love you, they mean it, but only for the time being... it could change in months. And that getting into a relationship with your best guy friend is the stupidest thing you'll ever do, because you'll lose him in the end. Both as a boyfriend and as a best friend :(
Awesome post :)
hmmm..
I'm coming up with nothing to add :-S lol.
@Sammyhellsyea@xanga - I agree with this.
it's okay to let your guard down sometimes.
LOL :) I liked this.
My 1st girlfriend taught me that contentment is not happiness.
1st taught me about being desperate, about unstable relationships, and how to treat a woman.
2nd taught me not to date people I barely know, and that I'm not interested in sex till marriage (personal choice, not religious, etc). Also I learned not to be clingy.
3rd re-taught me not to be desperate (didn't quite learn my lesson the first time), and that I need to be sure of myself and know what I really want in a relationship before getting into it.
They all taught me about "compatible vs. incompatible", to have confidence, and to not be so emotional.
My first boyfriend, I learned that I was not compatible with distance, and that three years CAN be too much of an age difference.
My second boyfriend, I learned that physical attraction is not everything, and it can't compensate for not having anything in common.
My current boyfriend, I have learned that relationships mean compromise sometimes. And many other things that I'm too lazy to list.