Miss Rhino
When you sit in a small, sweltering hot apartment with four guys and unlimited beers, you tend to hear things that you must remember to store in your brain bank under "What Guys Really Think".
My friend,
Mr. Mixed Breed Stray Dog for those of you who remember him, was telling us about how he met his new SO. She was a friend of our friend's and they had met by happenstance. Mr. MBSD didn't waste time putting his (so-called) moves on her because he was under the impression that she was already taken. So after a night filled with casual conversation devoid of all cheesy pickup lines and awkward sexual advances, you could imagine his surprise when, at the night's end, the girl said, "I think I'll just go back to your place for a little bit."
The tiny apartment erupted.
"So SHE was the one who made the first move?"
"And you weren't even trying?"
"I love it when girls are forward like that. Makes things much easier for me."
I love being the only girl in a room full of guys. You become privy to some valuable information.
I've never been one to make the first move. I actually despise it. But apparently guys love it when the girl is the initiator.
What's your view on making the first move? Would you ever be as forward to say: "I think I'll just go back to your place for a little bit"? Guys, what are your thoughts?
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Comments (45)
I suck at making first moves, and think guys should make them.
I don't think I would. I hate making the first move unless he's really clueless and I really want some fun.
Im too shy at making the first move. I'm naturally flirty so when I consciously decide to "go for it" I end up coming too strong.
It's so embarrassing. lol
maybe it's because he wasn't advancing on her in the beginning so she felt comfortable.
I used to make the first move all the time, but I've grown to be against it. From my experience, guys like it when a girl is a bit inaccessible-- As shown by your friend who felt more inclined to hit on that girl because he thought she was already taken. I've had experiences where the guy made the first move, and then as soon as I started reciprocating, he backed off. I hate these traditional gender roles, and I prefer to just go ahead and go for what I want-- I mean, I'm a confident woman, so why not? But if my experience is any indication, it's when I demonstrate that confidence that guys run away.
lol thank you guys! now for an actual male's commentary. =P
I like when women aren't afraid to initiate; i think it's hott personally.
I think the whole gender roles thing has gone too far nowadays. example; i was out not too long ago at a small get-together, having fun, kicking back a few drinks. Made some guy friends, met this girl and she's like, playing the whole 'i'm available for you to put the moves on, so i can reject you and make myself feel good that i'm desired' game.
Problem with that was, I was just looking to make friends.
Why the hell am I gonna put strenuous effort into making a friend?
If she were interested in me, she should've just said it.
She would have had such a better chance with actually getting somewhere with me.
Now i'm annoyed, b/c I feel you playing this game with me that says, "If i'm doing this already, it's only gonna get more ridiculous if I feed into it"
Just SAY what you want. It's EASY. Seriously.
P.S. Are girls really that vain, that they assume all guys are going after her/want to have sex with her, b/c she's that hott? That sh*t is ANNOYING. Go buy a dildo or rent a man-whore or something. GEEZ.
where is it written that the guy has to make the first or any move? that standard should be thrown out. it is open season as far as i am concerned. if the woman feels she would like to get to know the guy, then by all means do it. women seem to complain that they are tired of waiting for the guy to make the move and feel bad if they dont. so ladies...if ya want to know the guy....speak up
I find I go with the flow. It seems 50/50 with me. Sometimes I make the first move, sometimes I don't ... depends on how similar or dissimilar our personalities are ... Also depends on how safe the guys is playing ... if it's too safe, I make the move. If he is pretty bold in general, I'll wait.
I made the first move as in telling a guy (actually two) that I like them and making the first move (a peck on the lips) to another guy. But I wouldn't be as forward as saying, "I think I'll just go back to your place for a bit." Makes me sound a little desperate and a horn dog. But I guess each to their own. Lol.
I think women should do it more often. You save his time and your time at the end.
@purplepanda27@xanga - agreed. he has been known to overdue it when... pursuing a woman. haha
that girl is a win.
It makes your life as a guy heaven-and it gives us a HUGE hint on whether or not you are interested in us. It is probably the most rare yet priceless thing ANY girl can do to a guy.
I would never do that. I always want the guy to ask me, cause if he really wants to, he will. Whereas, if I really want to, I won't.
I personally enjoy it when a woman takes the initiative to make the first move. Is it hot? Yeah, I would say so.
Similar to one of the people commenting, I'm really bad at making the first move -- and I'm a guy. (If I'm not a sweating, nervous mess by or after I've made the move and she doesn't out-right slap me for even trying... then that's hot too.)
First moves can be subtle or direct or round about. The person on the receiving end should be listening and understanding the intention. (Although, I hope they understand clearly a 'direct' first move as opposed to a subtle or round about one.)
It's very rare to see a girl make a first move. But for some reason I've never made a first move before. I've been asked out by a few girls.. One I actually said yes to. I'm sort of bad at making a first move since I guess I'm inexperienced with that.
Also its kind of nice for the girl to make the first move once in awhile. I think its sort of silly that the guy should ask is the standard, anyone should really step up to the plate if they are ready for a relationship or something like that.
I'm usually the one who always has to make the first move. If I ever met a guy who could man up and kiss me first maybe I wouldn't throw them away so quickly.
I've never made the first move before. O_O
So, out of inexperience, I don't think I'd like to try. I'm fine with the way things are/have been going.
Also, I am conscious of it possibly making me look desperate/too easy. That kind of thing.
i make first moves sometimes
@RaabzBaby89@xanga - I second that. I personally would never say that to anyone. And if a guy said that to me, without me inviting him over, I would write him off as a horny jerk.
As to how guys feel, in my experience, it depends on the guy. Cuz I definitely know guys who do not like it when the woman makes the first move.
my boyfriend always wants to make the first move on things. We're both old-fashioned when it comes to our dating and relationship, so it works well for the both of us. He has admitted that once in a while if I take initiative for hugs or kisses, he likes it. Typically he likes to do it first, but he said once I apparently grabbed his collar and pulled him in to kiss him. He said it was the best kiss he ever had, regardless of the fact that he didn't move first.
Other than this rare time, I dont like making the first move.
Sure, who doesn't like getting laid. If the girl makes the first moves it's pretty clear what her intentions are so it's pretty clear how much value I'm going to put into such a thing.
I think either person can make the first move.
I asked him where he lived, and he told me the general area. I wasn't familiar with the area, so we talked back and forth about where, and finally he just asked if I wanted to go there and I said okay. This was at about 1:30AM after eating dinner. Hahaha.
I don't usually make first moves, but after a long sexually-tense relationship (where I'd said no to his advances before) I just told him I wanted to go back to his place, so we did. lol.
I've only just now realised/remembered that I made that advance that night.
Oh dear.
i like being the only girl when chilling with guys too. and yeah sometimes i make the first move, sometimes i don't :) depends