I adore my boyfriend and I love his family, but sometimes I wonder if they're a bit too much to handle. We've all heard the saying when you marry someone, you marry his mother too. The truth is, while his parents are wonderful people, they are incredibly controlling. At 24 years old, he is still treated as though he is in junior high, with a ridiculous set of rules and regulations that sometimes cause problems in our relationship.
When we plan an event or a night out, sometimes his overly paranoid mother can interfere and make it increasingly difficult to follow suit. All the while, they treat him very unfairly and baby his older sister to a sickening degree. As his number one fan and biggest supporter, it can be hard for me to witness without getting upset and wanting him to take a stand. What do you think? Would you date someone with controlling or strict parents?
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Comments (39)
Ok, if you're 24, controlling parents should not be an issue.
Maybe if you're 16, but not 24.
At that age my tolerance of it would be next to zero depending on how much I am into them.
24? and still the parents are treating him like a little child? that's a big no no and he should take a stand because he is old enough to know right from wrong and smart enough to make the right decisions.
I have overbearing parents as well, but I'm not that age. It was a small hinderance, yes, but it made our time together so much more meaningful because I didn't have much opportunity to spend time with him.
sounds like he lives at home. as long as you live at home (i'd know first hand), your parents are always going to BIYB. that's life. he should move on and he won't have to deal with them so much.
xo
It makes me question, does he still live with his parents? If so, I see where this is coming from but if not, boy, he needs to man up. He's 24 for god's sake.
No, I would not date someone who has controlling and strict parents whom he cannot stand up to. But if he can, you see, that would be a whole different story.
i have a VERY controlling mom- i fight her whenever possible, but i also feel the need to balance and keep the peace while still living under the same roof.
for example, my bf sleeps on the couch.
i hate it just a little. but i havent yet gotten a fulltime job where i can earn enough money to move out.
ironically he is 24 and also still lives at home, but his parents are WAY more chill. oh well :-\
No. Jeez, hell no. I've had enough with my own control freak, constantly bickering relatives.
I would if you like someone you like them, my last girlfriend was asian, her mom was ...words arnt strong enough for how controlling she was. And most asians i know there parents are quite controlling
I have parents that can be like that.. But i'm just 19; a ways away from being 24. & honestly, I have no idea how I've been in a relationship as long as I have. I don't know what I'd do if it were the other way around..
If I really like him, then yes. His parents would loosen up sooner or later.
Plus, I'm still 15, so I would expect them to be a little controlling at least, my parents are quite strict too. If he's 24, then I would try to make his parents really really like me, and then maybe they would loosen up :)
No.
dating one right now. wanna know my side of the story? my boyfriend is smart, brilliant, straight A student, helps out at home when asked to, and plays basketball during his spare time. even THEN he still can't go out with me whenever he wants to, and his mom has a way of twisting what she hears. he tells the truth, and she doesn't believe him. he lies, and its the same thing. im quite charming when it comes to parents, so the one time i went over to his place, his mom fell in love with me. then i talked to much when she asked me what i want to be in the future. since im pretty much finished with uni, i told her i could be alot of things (hinting at my abilities as well, cause i have good grades too), but she told him to stop dating me cause i have no future goals. LOL WTF? yup, thats right. so if i had to do it again...probably won't go for someone with controlling parents. its a strain on your relationship, and its just...nuts. but i love him to death so...hopefully its worth it :P
I did have a relationship with someone who had overly controlling parents. Never. Again. It does not help the love... in the least.
Honestly, if I had controlling parents, I'd work as hard as possible on moving out by the time I start college, not 24.
I would consider dating a guy with controlling parents, but at some point, I'd say "Step up and don't let her walk all over you".
If he still lives at home, his mother should control him towards his own apartment. If I had a son who lived at home til he was 24, I can't even explain what kinda crazy I would be.
@jeezshoua@xanga - My thoughts exactly. Except you know, I'd date a girl.
I AM dating someone who has very strict parents. There are so many rules; I can't see him two days in a row. No more than twice a week. No later than 7, the list goes on and on.
It's tough, but it's do-able.
Maybe, at 24, he should move out. Then there won't be a problem!
i'm 19 and my parents still give me a curfew for like 10 oclock. maybeeee 11 on good days. they need to know exactly where i am at that precise moment and who i am with and what i am doing. my boyfriend gets nuts when he hears my mom's ringtone! haha but we try and make it through. he's patient and we just hope for the better!
Bottom line: if you can't handle the S.O's controlling parents, you'd better not have yellow fever. It's a bad combo.
I'm 19, and the girl I'm "talking" to is 22. Her parents are the shit, just like mine. but her brother is the controlling one. And I can understand to a certain extent because I have sisters, but we aren't 14, 15, or 16. He needs to get off my nuts and cut her umbilical cord leash he has going on
NO. I did...and I won't again, if I can help it. His Mother knew everything about "us," and it wasn't even because he told her...she had some creeper original methods. Avoid these types of parents if you can, and please...avoid becoming one, too!
it helps if the guy moves out and lives on his own independently.
been there...and luckily got out. I won't ever do so again.