Monday, 20 July 2009
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My FWB Won't Pay Me Back
So back in February, I worked with this guy at Subway; I don't work there anymore though. I thought I had liked him at first, so we started hanging out more. I didn't mention anything about liking him, but we started out as a FWB thing for about a month or two.Then, I realized I didn't like him as much as I thought I did. I couldn't decide if he was using me for my car and money or if he actually liked me. I let him borrow $200 at the time, and although he said it would take him a while to pay me back, he would be sure to pay me back in the end...I kept hearing him say that he had to pay other people back, yet he failed to pay me back every time...and had the nerve to continue to ask to borrow money...and I thought I could trust him, but now I know.
This boy is one hot mess that I ever did meet. Funnily enough, during the time we spent together, apparently he started "liking" me and kept trying to say that he wanted to take me out on a date. I refused...mainly because he would call me by some other girl's name sometimes, plus he has a kid...basically he is an extreme mess. The physical attraction wore off and so we finally just hung out as actual friends. He would still try to sleep with me but I turned him down every time to the point where I stopped hanging out with him for a while.
Anyway, I had let him borrow 4 seasons of some shows that I watch (over $100 worth of DVDs). He didn't take care of my things when I let him borrow them - now his friend has my DVDs because they were in the same pile as his collection, so he grabbed them all and gave them to his friend, thinking they were all his DVDs.
I tried getting them back from him for a while. However, I'm to the point where I don't know if I should cut my losses and not contact him anymore because he pisses me off so much, and I was thinking that these aren't shows that I really watch anymore. I was this close to snapping at him whenever he would call me, but I kept my cool. It wasn't until my gas tank was on empty the other day, scrounging for money, that I finally snapped because I kept thinking to myself all the money I let him borrow could have been spent on gas money.
I thought he would pay me back this time considering he wrote a note and the date and signed the paper to make sure that he would pay me back by that certain date. He only paid $15 of the $49 he owes me...he still hadn't paid me back the $200 he owes me though. Although he did fix some things on my car for me at a cheaper price, though, I don't know whether or not to consider that as payment...and what he had fixed doesn't cost $200.
Would you still try to get your things/money back if you were in this situation? Or not contact this person anymore? He just pisses me off so much I don't ever want to speak to him or see him ever again.
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Comments (31)
My friend is in a similar situation. I told her to go to small claims court and file for the amount you lost, plus interest and filing fees. I would do it because scums like that need to understand that the world doesn't work that way.
ill see you on judge judy?
Jump his bitch ass.
I think its time to cute ur losses. Just looke at it this way ur probably not going to see the DVDs or the money. Just look at this a pricey lesson learned. You could still hang out with him if u wanted but don't let him have money or Items of urs.
drop it likes it hot..
Has this been going on for awhile? If yes, I say cut your loses. Who knows, maybe someday he'll pay you back. Or karma will get him
I'd say take him to court if possible. But I don't know for sure how far you'd get. It's worth a try.
@lanierstrong@xanga - Judge Judy scares (and intimidate) me but she's straight to the point and she actually caught people lying and trying to fib on their cases so they can get the upper hand at the end. But fails every time!
In your case, you see, I would be smart enough and not lend some stranger that I work with whom I may have a crush on borrow money that I have absolutely no clue about his financial history. Heck, even family members who ask to borrow money from me causes me to raise my brows.
If I were you, yes, I would try to get the money he owes me and my dvds back even if I do or do not watch them anymore. They're yours. You once invested in them.
When he "fixed" things on your car, did you pay for the things to fix your cars with? Or did he? And by any chance, did you two have a verbal agreement that if he did fix your car, you will count that as a repayment of $this much$ from the money he owes you?
If I were you, I would start getting everything written in paper.. a long time ago.
After that, ditch the loser.
But anyways, the title of this post was deceiving. I thought he won't pay you back as a friend with benefit. You know what I mean? *naughty grin*
I think everyone else is going too easy on you. What's wrong with you? Geeze, this IS a pricey lesson learned, and clearly you needed to learn it. Stay away from losers like him altogether. Why would you mess around with someone like this? He has a kid, doesn't take care of his or YOUR things, and apparently isn't financially stable.
Cut your losses, you learned your lesson. This is someone you don't want or need in your life, so look at it this way: For as long as he knows he owes you all this money, if he thinks you're going to pester him about it, maybe he'll avoid you, and then it only cost you $200 to cut someone who was a drain on you out of your life.
A FWB arrangement is pretty selfish to begin with. Both people are just in it for themselves, and as much as you probably don't want to hear this because of your involvement, it says a lot about a person's character. What do you expect?
I'd say cut your losses now. Which is going to cause more of a hassle, not talking to the douche anymore or throwing a fit over being an idiot on your part? I'd say let it go because you definitely got swindled in all senses of the word.
@EstaLoca007@xanga - lol yeah I tried to go easy, but you said everything I was thinking!
I agree with @Theophilus166@xanga. It is pretty selfish.
If you could, you should try to get the $200 back. It probably won't even work, but yeh.
I have been in a similar situation with an ex but probably much worse and more money involved. I got back 2/3's of my money but never saw the rest. I decided to let it go because I was sick of chasing it up with him and it was time to forget and let go...
@jeezshoua@xanga - "But anyways, the title of this post was
deceiving. I thought he won't pay you back as a friend with benefit.
You know what I mean?"
lololol. that's what i thought. then i was like, "money? psh."
sounds like you should just cut the ties with this guy.
i'd have my brothers beat his ass for me, but that's just me. lol.
xo
I have a friend that was duped into spending a LOT of money on this girl that he was dating in an LDR. Eventually she cut contact with him and was seeing another guy at the time, and never told him (but still taking money from him before cutting contact). Sorry to say, he's not getting anything back. And unless you find a way to threaten or blackmail him, you probably won't get anything either.
cut your losses and forget about him. i lend someone about 300-400$. they paid most except for another 100$. they kept trying toavoid that topic, eventually i just gave up and say fck it. no point. just wasting my time and energy, it's all whatever
@lanierstrong@xanga - i'm in the EXACT SAME SITUATION as this girl and i have had that idea so many times it's scary. lol
take 200 dollars worth of his possessions or sell his kid
LAW. SUIT. :) Gimme back my shit, bastard.
call him over for a tryst, and then kick him in the nuts - 49 times.
maybe hes mad he cant see your panties any more.......hmmmmm
Time for a beatdown.
Hey guys, he wouldn't return my calls anymore so I finally found his myspace page online since he doesn't have a facebook, lol. tell me what you guys think of the message. i wouldn't care if it was $10 to $20 that he would never pay back, but we're talkin' a couple hundreds so this is what i e-mailed him:
-------------------------------------------------------------
i dunno if you're gonna read this whole thing or not, but you probably should, not gonna lie.
i
couldn't believe that you would ask to borrow my money, even if i did
have a lot of it at one point and time. who are you to pester me into
lending you money. I DON'T TRUST ANYONE WITH MY MONEY...SEE WHAT
HAPPENED WHEN I DID, you backstabbed me!!! especially since it was
mostly for ME, NOT you...ME AND SCHOOL...ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU ARE THE
ONE WITH TWO JOBS YET YOU CAN'T EVEN GIVE BACK $5 OR $10 OF WHAT YOU
OWE ME.
this whole time i was hanging out with you i couldn't
decide whether or not you were using me for my car and money, or if you
were actually a friend. it's a good thing i did not accept going out
with you because you would have just used me for my money/car and more,
plus you're untrustworthy. that's another reason why i will never go
out with you, not just because you're 18/19.
in the end, you
showed your true colors that you are nothing but manipulative...hell i
know why you had to keep me a secret because you actually WERE going
out with taylor at the time. you tried to say she wasn't your
girlfriend, but then others were saying she was, even she said so. so i
stopped hanging out with you for a while because i kept getting annoyed
with you constantly trying to sleep with me. just because someone did
you wrong doesn't give you the fuckin' right to do others wrong who did
nothing but help you. so fuck you on that.
when i let you borrow
my car, you and your friends trashed it. lord knows i had this uneasy
feeling that you messed around with other people in my car.
unacceptable...especially since it is my PARENTS' car. i always had to
clean up your fuckin' trash every time you returned my car. when i let
you borrow my DVDs, you didn't take care of it, and now your friend
still has my DVDs...don't forget over $130 worth of DVDs on top of the
$200 you owe me. the things you fixed on my car are only probably a
mere $60-$75 of what you owe me, i'm guessing...$100 at most.
it
wasn't until my gas was on empty the other day that i finally lost my
cool. i kept thinking all this money i had let you borrow could have
been used for gas money.
that's right, ignore the people you owe
money to. i thought you would pay me back this time considering you
wrote on a piece of paper by a certain date...but even a piece of
signed paper doesn't mean jack shit. i know you are not a trustworthy
person. i would take you to court, you'd lose, but even if i did get
money back from you, it'd just go to court fees, so i'm just gonna say
this is the last lesson i'm gonna learn with ever trusting people with
my money.
and by the way, i didn't want to sleep with you, i
don't know why i did. i thought i had liked u but after the fact i
didn't. you're not a man because you can't take no for an answer. so
you keep pestering people until they cave in to give you what you want
like a little child.
people who don't want to fuck on the first
date...it's not that they're playing games...just that they have a
little more self-respect than that.
and u know what? you sucked because i was never in love with you and i haven't had my best yet. that's right you heard me.
and
also, if you bothered to read this far, you'll finally see that you
don't have to give back my DVDs anymore nor do you have to pay me back
anymore because that just means i would still have to keep in contact
with you when i really don't want to. all the time i was hanging out
with you, you just brought me down with you and i never want to see or
hear from you ever again.
good luck in conning others!