Would you rather be with someone who completes you or someone who loves you completely?
It's a tough question. Especially when both options seem to be the fair end of the bargain, depending on which end you're coming from.
Choosing the one who completes you seems a good choice. For one, it's hard to find someone who does. Most people spend a lifetime searching for that one piece that would fit their puzzle; someone who would fill the void in their lives; the one true yin to their yang. And if you find that one person, would you be brave enough to go after him/her despite the odds?
On the other hand, choosing the one who loves you completely sounds like a good choice as well. Because isn't that what we have always yearned for? Someone who'd love us with all of their absolute being? The one who will give us unconditional love, whole-hearted and steadfast. And when that person is there sitting in front of you, would you risk letting that person go?
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Comments (56)
there should be more options
how about both at once?
It seems to me that someone can't complete you unless they love you completely...otherwise, there will always be something missing.
But maybe that's just me.
-Katie
who says both option can't be found in one person?
I was thinking about blogging about this the other day.
I've tried the "person loves you more than you love him/her" - and that didn't work out because I felt unhappy. Plus it was selfish. There's never a 2-way street, even if that existed, it's hard to find.
Both at once. Rare but it's been known to happen.
I would never want one person to complete me.
I think even the title is wrong. You don't choose who you love, it just happens, and fighting it doesn't do anything. If you're in love, you're in love. It chases you and hunts you down.
I had someone who completed me, and loved me completely but I let him go, and now I'm with someone who does neither, because it's not what I'm looking for right now.
Love completes you. Someone loving you completes you.
One who I love as well. I've found someone who completes me, but I do not love him.
meh completes you? what does that mean? i dont consider myself incomplete.
i'ma say loves completely, so long as i am the same.
@akatiegirl - I agree
people change. things change. so what if you find the piece of puzzle at 20? only a person who loves you completely will love the changes in you too. that's what completely means.
I am a complete person. I do not need others to fill any voids in my life. I do love that my husband compliments who I am as a person and vice-versa. We love each other completely, but NOT uncoditionally.
Unconditioanl love is a myth. Relationships have conditions. That's why you say vows during a marriage. These are the conditions upon which a couple is comitted to each other. Its a pledge not to BREAK them. If love was unconditional, bad behavior wouldn't end in divorce and no one would ever split up. We all have conditions under which we cannot give our love to someone.
The idea that people fill others people's voids is unhealthy. You cannot possibly give someone all your love if you are constantly taking from them to fill a whole in yourself. How is that fair to a partner? How can you expect them to love you if you do not love yourself enough to be a whole person? How can you expect them to constantly provide you with something that you cannot provide yourself? What happens when you marry and have kids and your partner and you are don't have a lot of time to spend filling each each other's voids? What if you have a fight? Who completes you then? What if you break up? Does that mean you are missing something again?
These ideas are great in movies and fairy-tales, but in the real world they doesn't work. Love is conditional and love from another cannot complete you. We need to take responsibility for ourselves and stop pawning off the hardwork we need to do on ourselves onto others.
The person who completes you should complete you because they love you completely, whole heartedly. The void would still be there with the absence of love.
@akatiegirl - I agree with you as well. Plus the OP is making it seem like the one who completes you won't necessarily completely love you, although they may be perfect for you. I think that's kinda dumb.
My girlfriend is basically the mirror image of my personality, and we love each other very much, so I would think that she is both the person who completes me and the one who will be completely in love with me. I'm lucky I guess haha :)
I think the term "completion" is being misinterpreted in this case.
We all are complete, by ourselves. Everyone can maintain an efficient and happy life to their liking, by themselves. But in love of another; particularly relationship love.. This changes. If you've never had a person that you thought could be your better half, than you can't relate to the idea. If you've never had a person be so inspiring to you. that you felt motivated to be a better person for both yourself, AND that person, then you can't relate. Consider the concept of "missing" your lover when they're not around; they've added a love and companionship to your life that you can't achieve alone. If you build on to anything, get used to it being there, and then detach it.. you will miss it. It won't feel complete. In this case, you're allowing additions to your heart.
Now as far as the question:
I've had a person love me completely, but did not like my adaptability or changes.
I've also met a person that seemingly completed me in mind and spirit.
At this part in my life, I'm into harmony. I vote on being completed.
There's no such thing as someone who "completes" someone else, and there is no "one" for someone unless you make them so. Living life and searching for a partner like that, to me, shows absolute dependence on a lover and being in a relationship and inability to be comfortable being alone. And as experience has shown me, if you're not complete alone, then being with someone else won't make you complete either.
So I'd say that I would want someone who's a bit different, but we work well together, and as we grow together and further our relationship, we gain bigger positions in each other's hearts. Not because the other person is the missing piece, but because they add to what I already have.
I think I'll choose someone who loves me completely
I think that it would be better to find someone who loves you completely. Having someone fill your void can only last for so long because you could change. And you would always have to rely on that person to make you happy. Someone loving you completely means they would always love you no matter if you changed into the person you never thought you would.
I think of it less as "completes me" and more of "helps me complete myself."
I don't need someone else to keep me happy, however I do very much want him.
Someone who completes you doesn't necessarily love you or vice versa. If you're a good match, but you don't have the feelings that flawed love provides, is it really love?
@care@momaroo - THANK YOU!!
yikes!! im surrounded by idealists. i do believe the writer was speaking in simple terms but everyone seems to be taking this question to the deepest regions of human psychi lol.
i am with a man who completes me as the moon completes a day. he is the answer to my questions and the question provoking my answers. he elates me in joy and burns me with anger.he is the opposite, a masculine light in my feminine dark. to put it simply he completes me, not because i was incomplete without him for he has always occupied a space in my heart,my soul,even before i met his physical person. when i dont hate him i love him dearly and he loves me. we get along everyday having no converstaion or deep conversations. we argue. we take different sides.we have different beliefs. i teach him as he teaches me.we are perfect for eachother. his love is unconditional, he forgives my every mistake and i couldnt live without him.
i would rather be with someone who completes me. it seems that if a man loved me completely i would only be flattered by his affections but unable to return his love. i cant love someone completely just because they love me completely. not to mention if he loves me completely he will not disagree he will only agree to make me happy and say what he thinks i want to hear rather than unleash the passion of his own opinion. he will adjust his being to accomodate me and i will learn nothing bless his sweet loving heart. he only wishes to please me because of his complete love which harbors no hate or dislike of me, not even enough to argue with me.i need to love as well as be loved. i need to feel that connection, that "yin and yang" vibe if u will.
Pft. Those are the only "types of love"? Yeah right. And with what you have, you can't really have true love with one and not the other. I've found both in my man. And it seems that he's found both in me. I know I love him completely, but the way he talks sometimes I guess I complete him, too.
to love..and be loved
is one of the greatest joys on earth.