Fmylife.com contains short day-to-day life anecdotes. A simple recipe: in one sentence, each site visitor can tell the shitty moment which ruined his day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML".
Here are our favorite five submissions from
F*** My Life this week:
Today, while deleting my ex-fiance's account off my computer, I saved her pics. I found one of her with her now boyfriend in our bedroom. FMLToday, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FMLToday, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was"Best positions for a small penis." FMLToday, I was going to break up with my boyfriend after we went out for dinner. To my surprise, our families were also in the restaurant, to witness him propose to me. FMLToday, my best guy friend set me up on a blind date. Almost immediately after the guy and I sat down, he excused himself to make a call. A couple of feet away from our table, I heard him say, "Come on, Justin, this is the best you could do??" Over the phone. Justin is the guy who set us up. FMLdid you have any FML moments this week?
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Comments (23)
"I'm not gonna lie, I didn't always pull out fast enough." HAHAHAHAHAHA.
This is good
Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML
hahahaha!!
I actually did have an FML moment this week!
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time without a condom. Before he entered, he asked me if I'd been consistent with my birth control. I said yes. As soon as we were done, I realized I had forgotten to take it for two days in a row earlier this week. FML.
Today, I am going to see my brother in jail with my parents. First thing we have done together in YEARS. FML.
actually no i dont ^__^ (yay)
Last one is the best!!!LOL!
Wow.
haha i love FML. I read them from my iTouch every day!
These were just hilarious XD. Good choices.
today, i realized my "best friend" has been pretending to be my friend for several years now. FML.
Today, I went to the jail to see my brother with my parents, and he hasn't even been in there long enough to have visitors. I wasted so much time trying to see him. FML.
Today, I realized I hadn't left the house in 3 weeks other than to get groceries and walk the dog. I have no life, so why even attempt to fuck it?
The second one is hilarious!!!! "I'm not gonna lie, I didn't always pull out fast enough" hahahahaha
Today, I was going to break up with
my boyfriend after we went out for dinner. To my surprise, our families
were also in the restaurant, to witness him propose to me. FML
Hahahahahahaha. Oh my...
ouch @ the last one. lol.
xo
I'm upset with my best friends because I heard that they don't trust me as much. I sent a messages to my boyfriend saying, "So much for best friends, right?" Turns out. I accidentally sent it to my best friends.
hahaha i love FML
That last one is pretty harsh!
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I love fml I read it from my itouch whenever I can
LMAO @ the second story. XD
Today, I found out that the cute guy from work who I adore is in a relationship with another girl. FML.
today, i found out my girlfriend was pregnant. i'm lesbian. FML.
XD not mine but still sad.. .and funny...