Wednesday, 15 July 2009
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To Have And To Hold From This Day Forward...
"To have and to hold from this day forward,
for better for worse,
for richer for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death us do part".
I was talking to my future mother-in-law the other day and she thinks it would be a good idea if we wrote our own wedding vows. I have no idea what the hell I'm going to say. I know how I feel about Randy (my fiance) but putting it into words is kind of hard. When I think about it, it is a good idea. I like that it would be more personal. I think I'm more scared of writing it and it not sounding as good as I want it to ( if that makes any sense). I just don't want to look back and think "OMG! Why did I say that when I could have said this?"
I NEED HELP!
So what do you all think? Would you like to write your own vows? And if you are already married, did you write your own vows?
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- From: meanii@xanga
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Comments (40)
I got married 4 yrs ago but have since divorced. We did write our own vows. I thought they were more personal.
When I marry again, I plan to write vows again.
It can be a very sweet thing to do. But if it were me, I'd probably memorize what I wanted to say so I wouldn't be reading off a card or something. :D
We went with the traditional Baptist ones and I terribly regret it, maybe one of these days if I can talk Adam into renewing them we will get the chance to say what we really feel!
I didn't write my vows when I got married but I wish I did. It would mean more and be more personal. Just write what you feel, your love for him, your promises to him till 'death due us part,' etc. It don't matter if it don't sound as good as you want it to sound or to others. It's your vows to him and that's all that should matter. Take your time on it.
I would personally want to stick with the traditional vows 'cause they pretty much sum up and express my feelings of devotion, anyway.
I wouldn't write my own vows, I think they are too personal, hard to say and not sound weird to others. What I have to say to the person I will one day marry is between them and me ONLY, no one else! I will stick with the traditional vows.
I think I'd like to write my own vow.
As for you... if you STILL can't think of anything, just go with the original vows.
I think im sticking with mostly normal vows
I wouldn't mind writing my own vows. If you are you should start writing them now and keep on going over them and editing them. If you know people that are in Creative Writing or English Majors and whatnot try to get their opinions on how to express your thoughts. =)
You can speak from your heart or making recite something from romantic poetry that explains your feelings. It's not just the words, it's the meaning behind them too.
Personally when I get married, I'm taking the "obey" out of the vows if I go traditional. It's terribly outdated.
writing your own vows is crazy hard :[ i'd rather go traditional
ur own vows are cool...now the quest to memorize or not memorize?
I wouldn't write my own. I am too traditional for that. However, I do like the idea of setting a time for the couple to say a few words to each other (not necessarily vows) before the saying of the traditional vows. That would be how I would do it. Though, right now, I have no idea what I would say.
lol yeah - i know what you mean - i feel i'd get caught up in trying to sound like a good writer as WELL as communicate my actual feelings to my partner. idk; i might be too embarrassed by the rawness.
everyone has there opinion, she was just throwin that out because maybe that is better for her to write her own vows but if u think the original vows is as good i say stick to the original. Even tho your own vows would be coming from the heart but still the original vows is as good because it sums up everything but its just simple and not so complicated. But i say stick to the original in the end your still going to be with the love of your life =).
For me my husband and i stuck to the original and we are happy =)
congrats on getting married.
I'd want to write my own. Just because I know we'd both mean it more.
Of course I want to write my own vows. :] I wouldn't memorize them, though. I'd have too many other things to worry about.
If you feel that you do not want to use the traditional vows, yet you find it hard to put into words what you feel to write your own vows... you could always try looking at wedding poems and using other vows that may not be traditional and not your own, yet still beautiful and say what you want to say. Just a thought...
I wouldn't. The old ones are so beautiful already. They are time-tested too. You can personalize your wedding in other ways.
@Lilyofdavalley84@xanga - I would memorize them...and then forget them right when it would be my turn lol.
im not sure if I'm already engaged though.. nevermind that, but yes, I'd definitely love to write my own marriage vows..
See I would love to write my own vows, but at this point I wouldn't have any idea what the hell to say.
"Your an asshole but I love you anyways"?
My boyfriend has one of those I'm always right attitudes. It's to the point where I would not know what to write but no traditional vow could ever truely explain.
My suggestion, take a look at qoutes, ask yourself how you feel about him, make little notes of things you like, and when your satisfied with your notes, piece it together.
We wrote our own. We basically looked at a bunch of different pre-written vows and stole bits and pieces from each to craft a set of vows that we both really liked. Here was our final product:
"I, ______, take you, ______, to be my
lawfully wedded husband/wife, loving what I know of you and trusting
what I do not yet know. I covenant to you before God and these
witnesses that I will respect and honor, love and cherish, hold and
protect you in good times and bad, through sickness and in health, in
joy and in sorrow, for richer for poorer. I promise to be your faithful
partner, your constant friend, and your counselor in perplexity. While
upholding the mystery of your uniqueness, I affirm that through our
union we can accomplish more together than we could alone. May the Lord
do with me and more if anything but death removes me from your side.
This is my solemn vow."
My husband and I wrote our own vows...it was actually pretty easy. We both just expressed our thoughts and that we promised to love, respect and honor each other, just in our own words. I put in mine that I promised to respect his position as leader our our family and submit to his authority in that role. He wrote that he promised to provide for me and take care of me in his presence and absence (he was about to be deployed). His last line made both of us tear up, he wrote "You are my best friend, and the woman I will always love."
One thing I'm glad I did was have us write them by hand....after the wedding I framed them and hung them up next to our wedding pictures. People who come over always mention how much they like that idea. :) Not to mention we both see them everyday and it's a good reminder when things are tense!
We didn't memorize them either...there was too much going on for that!!!
Yes we wrote our own vows, and I really, REALLY didn't like it. It was very uncomfortable for me. You know all those movies and tv shows with the guy sitting around, waiting until the last minute to write his vows? That was me. Except I'm a girl. I just really didn't want to do it.