Wednesday, 15 July 2009
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I Am Miserable by Myself
Have you ever felt like to just quit trying to find someone to date? If so, did you actually do it, and not just say you wanted to stop trying anymore?Are you happy with that decision?
I am miserable by myself.
I mean, I guess I'm okay with being by myself, but I'm just extremely bored of myself, if that makes any sense.
None of the friends I usually hang out with on a daily basis are in town anymore. They've all moved, and I can't even find a decent job. So I can't really preoccupy myself with my friends all the time or a job, otherwise I would.The only friends in town that are sometimes available to hang out are, in fact, the guy I like and our mutual friend, but I don't want them to think that they're the only people I have been hanging out with lately, so I don't always ask them to hang out a lot, just here and there.
I've given people so many chances just for them to fail me, it's, like, why bother trying anymore?
This person that I am head-over-heels with, I don't know if I should try. He has no clue I like him whatsoever and I plan on keeping it that way for a while because I don't know if he likes me at all. Sometimes I think I imagine that he does like me, but maybe I'm reading too much into him.
He is the only guy, out of all the guys I've ever met I could see myself marrying in the end, yet I just don't know if I should bother with it anymore, considering my losing streak.
I don't want to settle. The past relationships I have had were because I settled for them all so of course they were bound to fail.
There's this one friend I would ask to hang out with, but I feel like he uses me for my car and not only that he's 18/19 now and I'm 23, and I hate that he had kept trying to ask me out on a date so I started to hang out with him less.
Is anybody else having the worst summer ever? I feel like nothing's going to come out of this summer.
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Comments (50)
I felt this way a couple of summers ago. I was miserable and lonely and all that crap. Then I went out and found some new friends to hang out with. It was mixed gendered and we always had plenty of adventures. After a while I wasn't even sad that I didn't have a boyfriend. I was having too much fun enjoying the summer.
I didn't want a boyfriend anymore. I didn't need one. And that was when I realized I could be happy alone or with someone.
Try doing some things on your own and see who you meet and what you come up with.
:]
Yeah I'm getting there too.... I've stopped looking for a bf now. Like you I have given some guys I've liked or got along with chances but they've only fail on me in the end. I just keep myself occupied with tasks and outdoor activities...mainly exercising to get my head busy. When the right one comes along I'll be ready for him. As of now... Just meeting all the wrongs one. heeheh
Why don't you put yourself out there and actually get to know new people so you won't always be hanging out with the same crowd? Go to places you have never been. Experience things that you always wanted to. Open up and be optimistic.
As for the guy you're head-over-heels with, why wouldn't you try? You like him, right? Go for it. It's worth a shot unless you want to ponder about all those "what if" questions in the back of your mind. If you let him know and he's not interested, hey, that will save your time in the long run.
The outcome of life is in your hands. You can sit there and be miserable or go out and do something about it.
@jeezshoua@xanga - Exactly.
Finding a boyfriend just to beat the boredom sounds like you're setting yourself for relationship failure. If this guy you're "head-over-heels" for doesn't know you're interested, how's he going to have the chance to really get to know you? Put yourself out there, take a chance, enjoy the damn summer! If he says no thanks, at least you're not left in limbo.
There are plenty of things to do without friends. Sure, it takes courage to buck the societal norm and head out solo, but there's a lot of fun out there waiting for you. And a lot of really, really cute guys. So good luck, and have fun!
Why don't you make new friends? Go Volunteer somewhere? Learn how to play the drums or something, there are sooo many things you can do. Remember, you were born in this wrold by yourself, if you're miserable by yourself...that's not at all a good sign.
hmm...im going to have to agree with jeezshoua....your future rests in your own hands. No one else is going to be able to do anything for you. If you really like the dude, and can see yourself even marrying him, then isn't it worth the try?
I'm single, and I'm not exactly having the time of my life being single, but I have a great set of friends that I continuously make the effort to keep in touch with. Even though they dont give me the companionship like a significant other would.
It looks as though you need a new solid foundation to build your future upon. Get out of the rut that you're currently stuck in, and venture out there. You're only 23, you have so much to look forward to. Kick the depression however you deem necessary, and try new things. Get a new job, attend new classes of your interest. You'll eventually meet the right person or people. The more you desparately look, the longer it will take. At least that's what I've gained from my experiences. Great things come when you least expect them to.
Bleck. I'm hear ya. I don't only hate this summer but I also hate 09'.
My "friends" won't even bother to hang out with me. They can go ride bikes with our other mutal friends but they can't with me. Ugh. Hate it.
You're definitly not alone! This summer is terrible. I have plenty of friends but they just seem so busy or possible are... avoiding me? Maybe I'm just paranoid.
Maybe there's always a bit of hope for all of us?
Being by myself gives me the time and opportunity to love myself all the more. Then when I am with someone I can give them the best I made myself to be.
You know what? You should enjoy this time being single. You're 23? I'm also 23 years old and single. I've been single for almost a year now. I have gone on the occasional dates here and there...but I'm glad I'm single. Some of my girlfriends who are in a relationship are more miserable than I am.
Go out...meet new people and make new friends. If that fails...hang out with your family. Drop the negative attitude and live a little.
i feel like sometimes i'm miserable by myself too, it's the first summer since i was a teenager to not have a boyfriend and i'm feeling like it's so lonely sometimes, but instead of being pessimistic about it, think optimistically, this is the time to figure who you are, try things you've never done before, and enjoy your life as a single person, you'll start to figure out things about yourself that you've never known and you'll thank yourself for it later.
i feel the same way.. except. i have more than one group of friends to hang out with. the thing is, all the groups everyone has a s/o to hold on to. but i think im fine. ive gave up on finding love its okay.. i found love in reading i feel like a nerd. i just finished one book now i need another one to read or else my life would be boring.
Ok, it sucks that none of your friends are around but what a perfect time to make new ones. Just because they're gone doesn't mean you can't have fun. If you're head over heels for a guy, muster up some confidence and do something about it. I'm not saying you should throw yourself at him but at least talk to him, get to know him more, put yourself out there a little bit so that he has an opportunity to give back a little. Yes, you may get hurt, but how will you ever know what could happen if you just give up trying. You could be missing out on so much.
I'M having the worst summer because I have TOO much homework to do for AP classes.
My problem is that I don't want to date, which is why I've never had a boyfriend. It's not really a problem, I'm just scared of the idea. I don't need a boyfriend to entertain me and unbore me.. I got other ways.
If anything hang out with him more. Do you really think he would care if he and this mutual friend are the only people you hang out with? Perhaps you can join their little group seeing as all your friends moved and what else is there? Life is too short to be so fickle about such a matter as only hanging out with some group. Why would you miss out on hanging out and having a good time instead of hanging around at home?
I hate this summer as well. I can't get a job because I will feel bad because I leave in August for summer school. All my friends are taking Community College Summer classes, but I didn't since they were all full and I couldn't even try to add them the first couple days. On top of that I have nothing to do, no games to play, and I have to stop going out because I'll end up in debt. This summer blows but the only part I am liking is that I can sleep in and there's no school, as of yet. Once August comes around shit will hit the fan.
i feel like that as well and i am giving up on looking because everytime i try i just end up getting hurt in the end..and plus right now only being 20(less than a month untill im 21) i am more into having friends then a lover at the moment...although i hate being "alone"
and your town and summer is sounding a lot like mine
I would stop looking for someone, and before you know it, someone will find you :)
miserable summer too :(
You don't need to date to be happy.
I've heard that the only way to be happy in a relationship, is if you're happy with yourself first. Learn to be happy, make some new friends, watch some porn, enjoy your summer.
For me, I personally like being a recluse and keeping human interaction to a minimum in the summer. Best summer ever.
-Kunoichi
@KrazeeKunoichi009@xanga - "watch some porn" haha.
besides that..i quit trying a while back. i dont need a guy to be happy. im fine by myself.
@KrazeeKunoichi009@xanga - "Watch some porn" was EXACTLY what I was going to say, lol.
If you're going to be in a slump and be all pessimistic about everything, then of course you're going to be miserable, and of course you're going to be alone. If you're bored of yourself, how are you going to expect anyone else not to get bored of you?
glad to see some other lonely ppl out there like me!
i say put on your headphones and go jog in the park...tune the rest of the world out for a while. if you have to think that much into "dating" you'll only frustrate yourself even more. things shall fall in place in time...u just have to have patience.
Pretty much what you just said is how I feel...
I mean I like the summer and all, but it sucks going to films or seeing films on the television that are all about how two people meet in a fun and unexpected way and they talk and laugh and then the climax occurs {usually this is when the two lovers have a fight or something crucial like that} and then they realize they are in love and forever will be and they live happy flippin after in a world of roses!
I know that this stuff doesn't happen like a film...it's just frustrating!
I'm they type of girl who believes that there is someone out there for me, and I know that the time in my life just doesn't call for a relationship...
But I want it nontheless!
And that's what is frustrating! URG!
P.S. This certain someone you feel giddy for... I would tell him the truth and if he's your friend he will stay your friend whether or not he likes you back. Do it when the pain outweighs your enjoyment ok :)