Wednesday, 15 July 2009
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Makeup for Men?
You know you're hard up for something to write about when a headline like this: Is It Wrong for Guys to Wear Makeup?, catches your eye. But as it touches upon themes that interest me a great deal, namely gender roles and relationships, as well as what masculinity really means, perhaps it is not so surprising. It was hard for me to avoid laughing, however, when I read the first line of that post "Does the stereotype of men needing to look masculine prevent them from looking their best as well?"That sentence in a nutshell contains all of the larger issues that this post deals with. In fact you could almost take it word by word, each major word providing the chapter heading for a separate issue. As a matter of fact, I think that's what I'll do.
"Does the stereotype of men needing to look masculine prevent them from looking their best as well?"
The word "stereotype" immediately clues you in as to where the writer is coming from. He considers gender roles to be stereotypes, which means that they are based solely on what society expects. To him it's all just an arbitrary rule established by the consent of the masses for no discernible reason. While there are certain gender stereotypes, it doesn't seem to occur to him that there might be a gender archetype, an actual nature to masculinity to which men ought to conform. Could it be that our very ideas of masculinity can be more accurate or less accurate as they more or less closely resemble the nature of what masculinity is? Or should be?
"Does the stereotype of men needing to look masculine prevent them from looking their best as well?"
The word "look" betrays an inherently superficial idea of masculinity. The question of whether or not men ought to be masculine is never raised, and it is almost implied that masculinity is a kind of look that we try to achieve. It is not that there is anything inherently wrong with thinking about how we look. The problem is rather one of form and purpose. In asking about whether the stereotype of men needing to look masculine, the deeper issue is ignored. If there is, in fact, a real nature of masculinity, something that we men can be, then this is our purpose, and the form or how we look must be shaped, if it is to be shaped at all, according to that purpose and to reflect that purpose. The question then comes back to whether or not there is an archetypal masculinity and if so, what does it consist of.
"Does the stereotype of men needing to look masculine prevent them from looking their best as well?"
The word "masculine" immediately raises the question, what does it mean to look masculine, particularly since the author contrasts it with "looking their best." What does masculinity look like? Is it a beard like a lumberjack? The correct amount of stubble? A jaw like a rock? Neck muscles and veins in the forehead? Or is it something more difficult to define like "a look of confidence", "the face of a leader" etc. If a masculine look is considered to be any look that is specifically and exclusively related to the male gender, then why would that be contrasted with "looking their best"? Unless "looking their best" was defined so as to exclude a specifically masculine look?
"Does the stereotype of men needing to look masculine prevent them from looking their best as well?"
As it turns out, it's not hard to find out exactly what the author meant by that phrase. Simply click on the link at the top, and you will see two examples in photographs of unusually feminine looking guys. I assume they are actors or something, but I don't know. You can also read the following questions "Is it wrong for full grown men to wear say, a foundation so their skin looks smooth and glowing? How about some concealer to hide away those nasty breakouts we might have? Or, what if we wanted to emphasize our eyes with a little eyeliner?"
So "looking their best" is defined in almost exclusively feminine terms, i.e. smooth, glowing, flawless skin and eyes that just jump out at you, that magnetically attract attention. While there may not be anything specifically un-masculine about the eye thing (except the overall desire to attract attention visually, that is, passively), the skin thing is definitely un-masculine because it is acheivable, for the vast majority of men, only by constant and daily battle to overcome the realities of being a man. We grow facial hair. Some more, some less, but we all grow it. There is nothing wrong with shaving it, or trimming it and keeping it neat, but I would say that any emphasis on a look that must necessarily be in direct conflict with that reality might be evidence of deeper issues. It isn't that they want to deal with facial hair, they want to look as if they don't have any. They want to look like girls.
The question as a whole betrays an ignorance of what masculinity really is. We should not be concerned at all with getting people to look at us. Instead we should be pursuing the inner reality of manhood. That of, course, is topic for a whole other post but I will leave this quote, "Man can find fulfillment, only in a sincere gift of himself." That, in a nutshell is the true meaning of humanity in general and manhood in particular.
Once we embrace the inner reality, and we're no longer polishing the body of a sports car with no engine or transmission, then we can begin to think about looks. Indeed, at some point looks will likely be something we will have to think about, but the principle remains the same. We do not cultivate a look to attract attention, but rather to reflect the deeper reality of our identity as men. That is the purpose which should direct all our formation of ourselves.
I realize I've been vague and unspecific, but I did that purposely, for two reasons. One, you learn more by thinking out the details for yourself, and two, I know very little about looks at all. Honestly, I haven't ever given it much thought. It never came up. I have always just assumed that if you pursue the reality, the looks more or less take care of themselves, or fade into unimportance.
Wow, it felt good to post again. Maybe I should do a follow up tomorrow.
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- From: P_Obrien@xanga
- Name: Patrick
- About Me: P_Obrien is the pen name of an elusive individual who is a soldier, a self-proclaimed poet, cerebral, and a bit strange. He has also been called: weird, mysterious, large, shut up you talk too much, and once (allegedly) late for dinner. He has sometimes been seen wearing a moustache.
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Comments (9)
nice post man, i agree!!
It's not WRONG. But that doesn't make it right, necessarily, in all cases.
Girls use makeup in different ways. Some use it as an enhancement of natural beauty, others want to look painted. They prefer different things. I'm assuming the same would be true with guys; Some choose to be completely natural, some want to look groomed, others want to be painted and more bold with their styling.
it's either a right nor wrong answer
because..what is right and wrong now a days LOl
Well I dont think its wrong, but I think masculinity (sp?) is truley defined by a characteristic that ALL men are aquainted with. Secondly, its defined by each individual what a masculine demeanor would seem. One guy may feel completely comfortable calling one thing/behavior "masculine" as another might associate the thing/behavior as not so masculine.
When it all comes down to it, its all an opinion.
I totally agree with you on this.
I think a man should be hygienic by shaving often, or, if he chooses to grow facial hair, keep it neat and clean, showering daily, and brushing his teeth.
The writer of the previous post made the assumption that masculinity was an appearance of sorts, and tended to imply that it was an unattractive, or dirty sort of appearance at that. I don't even think there IS a particular appearance that I associate with masculinity. Rather, I think it's more the person themself, with their personal qualities, etc, that make or break what is masculine. However, I do think that if a guy were to wear makeup as females do, it would definitely be UNmasculine. Then again, I think too much makeup on GIRLS is unattractive, so...
i disagree. gender roles are stereotypes. and no, i don't believe there to be "a gender archetype, an actual nature to masculinity to which men ought to conform."
The Apostle Paul said it best when he said that men should not look like women and visa versa.
Being well kept is not the opposite of masculinity; it's actually common sense. But it also means you are not supposed to be female-like either. It's ok for a man to wear make up...if it was Ancient Egypt. Even most women confess that they don't like effeminate men.
The whole gender Zietgiest doesn't work for me at all. It's for the most part, a distortion of gender traits and eventual distortion of the family structure. Hey let's think of it, these men and women eventually become husbands and wives and if the gender traits of them have been confused before hand, then what kind of families would they make?
I agreed with you at the beginning of this article, and then I realized that our opinions were definitely beginning to divide. I could go on for pages picking out sentences and delving into them (gender and gender roles are HUGE interests for me), but I would really just like to point out the one thing that actually bothered me, that upset me a little. You said:
"We do not cultivate a look to attract attention, but rather to reflect the deeper reality of our identity as men. "
I'm not trying to attack you here, because I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. It's entirely possible that you didn't mean for it to sound like this. But the question must be raised: are you implying that women cultivate their looks simply to attract male attention? That WOMEN cannot possibly reflect their identity throught their appearance? You said a little earlier: "We should not be concerned at all with getting people to look at us. Instead we should be pursuing the inner reality of manhood." This implies that, inversely, women should not be concerned with pursuing their own "inner realities", but simply with "getting people to look at [them]."
I just don't understand the need to separate this into a male vs. female argument. You never outright said any of the things above, but you definitely implied them by the things you didn't say.
@chandelier_lake@xanga - I appreciate the comment, as it highlights a problem with my writing style. However, just so you know, when I don't say something, I'm not implying it. This post was written only about men, and for men, and to better understand men. There was never any intention of raising a male vs. female point/counterpoint. Women simply do not enter into my topic at all, therefore my statements about what men should or should not do have no implication whatsoever for women.
To answer your point, though, I do believe that for women it is, if anything, even more essential that their looks reflect their inner hearts. This is because women typically (in something like 99% of the population) are more concerned with looks than men are. This is not a bad thing, but it does mean a lot of heartache for women as they try to look like things they are not, or look like fashion mags and movies and other women and the men around them tell them they ought to look. It is a very destructive trend, if they do not understand that beauty is rooted in the heart. Any kind of exterior look that does not reflect inner beauty is a waste of time and effort, not because it would fail to attract men, but because it would betray her femininity. Actually, an unhealthy kind of attractiveness is very likely to attract men, but they will be men with unhealthy eyes. This of course has implications for everything from eating disorders to modesty to style, but that is my basic principle.
Further, there is nothing wrong with trying to be attractive to the opposite sex, for either men or women. The problem lies in what we use to attract the other sex. For men this can be a lot of different things, cars, jobs, style, charisma, sports prowess, or looks, anything from a teenage jock to a 55 year old billionaire, but for women it usually boils down to looks. When done properly her look is only a part of who she is as a whole, and it reflects dignity, strength, and deep, peaceful femininity. When done improperly, looks tend to become the whole picture, usually emphasizing her femaleness, rather than femininity. That is, it tends to emphasize the body as a sexual object, rather than the person as a whole, as a physical/mental/emotional/spiritual being.
So there is certainly both a proper and improper way of attracting the opposite sex, but this attraction should not become the whole picture for either sex.