Tuesday, 14 July 2009

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Comments (54)

  • aiinos@xanga

    If it were up to me, I'd apply to whatever college I wanted to go to. The colleges that would help me with my career in the future. If you and your boyfriend go to different colleges, you'll have to learn how to make it work. 
  • steph

    I agree with aiinos@xanga. It'd also suck if y'all went to the same college & ended up breaking up in a not so nice manner.

  • GiantUnicorn@xanga

    College is the time  for experimenting and having a good time not making the right choices. I would not want to be tied down for college unless I met them at my uni.
  • MangoWOW@xanga

    Nothing. Unless you're actually engaged I don't see how your boyfriends choice (or anyone elses) should affect where you go to college.
    Go where you think you'll do best and choose a college that will suit your needs, wants, and major. Don't' settle for a college just because your high school sweetheart is attending it or attending one close by.
    If he really means that much to you, and you end up going to colleges separated, try the long distance thing (I'm swallowing my disapproval because I don't believe in such things). If it doesn't work then it wasn't meant to be.
    But please, listen to all the people who will be telling you the same thing: Don't chose a college just because an SO or a friend is going to one. That's a stupid reason to apply anywhere and you usually end up miserable.

  • softaswater@xanga

    ditto to you. except weve been dating two years and two months.

    im pretty sure its going to have a lot of influence on my decision. as in where hes going im going unless there are extreme circumstances. (like he gets into both our dream school and i dont, or i get mad scholarships somewhere. i wouldnt make him ditch his dream school.)but i feel like our case is kinda extreme. id recommend not letting it have that much influence. and just let him just be an equal factor on the deciding list. 
  • EarthsAzureLight@xanga

    It should have none, but it always has some because you love each other.

    High School love is so fickle. It's sad really.
  • methodElevated@xanga

    I voted for the first one.
  • StarlitGoodbyes@xanga

    I'd like to apply to places at least near my boyfriend.  But I mean, if it's right, then you just have to make it work..
  • naguyin@xanga

    @StarlitGoodbyes@xanga - If it's right. No distance will make it wrong.
  • brunetteshybabydoll@xanga

    he's your boyfriend, if he loves you, he shouldn't care whether you go to a different college, he should be happy that you are going to make something out of yourself regardless of whether you attend the same school. besides both of you will have to work harder to maintain your relationship, and that's the real test.
  • abh816@xanga

    I'm a single mother without even a high school diploma, because my ex wanted me to stay home with our baby, and get my GED and then an associates degree after our daughter started kindergarten. He promised he'd support our daughter and I while I went to school if I would stay home with her until she started school. She's starting kindergarten in September, and I can't get a degree because, after wasting 6 years of my life with him, he left me three weeks ago.


    My point is, don't plan your life around anyone unless you're married to them. I made that mistake, and look where I ended up.
  • jayne_b@xanga

    He shouldn't have an influence over where you want to go to college. You two can work through it. College is all about reaching your goals. It's a time to focus on you and what's best for your dreams and life.
  • black_lie@xanga

    don't do it! people change a lot in college
  • ayeHEARTyoo@xanga

    it should have NO influence. 
  • C_UNIT42@xanga

    i'm speaking from experienceon this one.  @softaswater@xanga, you need to listen to this too.  you never know what the future holds.  my h.s. girlfriend (of 18 months) and i were both athletes and had the opportunity to play our sports at the same college.  after 2 years she was a totally different person, and we were moving in different directions, so she broke up with me.  i turned down a fucking football scholarship to a really good school so that i could walk-on at a mediocre school (mediocre in football, not academics) just be with my gf! not a day goes by that i don't regret that decision.


    there are no guarantees in life, especially when it comes to people. once you get out and experience life free from parental control and hometown familiarity; rich in new and diverse people and and ideas; you will never be the same. you've gotta think about what's best for your future as a whole, what will give you the best opportunity for success, and what the school has to offer you besides having your bf around. i could go on and on about this but i think you get the point i'm trying to make. just remember choosing a college isn't like choosing where to hang out friday night based on who's going to be there.

  • jeezshoua@xanga

    How much should your bf college choice influence yours? None.  Zero.  Nada.

    Pick the college that will work best for you and your future career.  College isn't about chasing your significant other or wanting to be near him.  It's about experimenting, reaching your goals, making new friends, new choices and decisions for your life, etc.  Enjoy it.

    Regardless how far apart you two are (if), if both of you want the relationship to work, it will work.  You don't need to be close to make it work.
  • goD_I_V_Aunc10@xanga

    @abh816@xanga - omg that sucks

  • goD_I_V_Aunc10@xanga

    I know it's hard but go where YOU want to go and do what's best for YOU (unless you're getting married soon or something like that).
  • missgiraffe

    you're still young. you should go to the best college for you. try long-distance relationship. if it works out, then congratulations. if it doesn't, there are better ones in store for you.
  • fiery_redhead

    I went to the same college that my SO went to and if I were to go back, I would choose a different college.  He had already been in school here for two years and in a way, he kind of influenced me to come here.  We ended up breaking up & I still had to see him around campus. 

    So, go to whatever college you want to go to.  I think you can make a long-distance relationship work if you choose a college that is different from your SO.
  • AznFier@xanga

    I would actually recommend a college that is different from your SO that way you guys have room to grow and develop without each others influence/presence. In the end, just choose whatever college is best for your interest//major. =)
  • ashleyannaka@xanga

    I do not think you should make a decision on which college to go to based on where your SO is going. That is NOT a smart move. You need to completely put that factor OUT of your mind and choose based on what YOU want and what is best for YOU.


    I think that if you two are supposed to be together and if you really love eachother, you'll make it work out. On that note, some examples:
    My friend and her boyfriend dated in High School, but went to different Universities. They are still dating and plan to be engaged within the next year and a half and married sometime not terribly long after that. They go to Universities that are about 4 hours apart from one another.
    I know another couple who have been dating since High School and now they are a Senior and Junior in college. The senior is looking for graduate schools. Many of his choices are out of state (and quite far from where they both attend University currently). However, they're determined to make it work and are going to continue to stay together.
    Another friend of mine chose her University because her boyfriend was already there. They broke up and she ended up HATING the school because she only liked it because of her boyfriend anyway. I've heard of a lot of stories like this.


    Choose for YOU not for HIM.

  • Kyren_SkyRyder@xanga

    There's nothing holding you back from applying. It's once you get in and have to decide whether or not to accept that you have the problem.

    I'm in kind of the same boat -- I'm thinking of going to grad school in a different state from my boyfriend of over three years. I love him dearly, I think he's The One, but he's not going to hold me back from reaching my dreams. And because I think he's The One, I think the distance isn't going to break our relationship.

    It's all about crossing your bridges when you get to them. Not to be rude, but why bother worrying about something until you have that acceptance letter in your hand? THEN you can worry about what to do, and maybe by then you'll have had all this time to think about it and make the best decision for you. Still, letting someone else 'hold you back' is a bad decision, because one day you might start to resent him for it.
  • ThingsYouDontKnowAboutMe@xanga

    @naguyin@xanga - Even if it's right, you still have to work your ass off to keep it that way, distance or not.

    I agree with StarlitGoodbyes@xanga, there's nothing wrong with looking at the colleges near where he's going or even the one he's going to, but it shouldn't be the entire reason you choose to go somewhere. you have to put yourself first here, but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to forget about him. 
  • mywordsx@xanga

    Thank goodness I'm not that only one that's thinking about this!


    But, I believe that your SO shouldn't affect where you want to go. Do what's best for yourself, not him. Good luck.


    Well, there's my question solved lol.

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