WYD Someone Who Was Still Married?

Sunday, 12 July 2009

WYD Someone Who Was Still Married?
Would you date someone who was still currently married?
Let's just say I know someone who has "been there, done that."
Miss Editor: No way. I respect other people too much to knowingly pursue someone who has already committed to someone else.
Miss Gorilla: a. I am terrified of vengeful wives that would find out and potentially slit my wrists while I begged for mercy. B., I'm fairly certain that it would then in turn happen to me and when I finally got married, my husband would sleep with a girl half my age (hopefully I'd be at least 30)
What sayeth you?

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No I would not.
- 7/12/2009 12:05 PM
- my_final_username@xanga (message)
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stupid question
- 7/12/2009 12:14 PM
- oO_km_Oo@xanga (message)
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Ummm.....let's think about this for a second- oh yeah- NO.
- 7/12/2009 12:17 PM
- The_Life_Of_A_Poet2@xanga (message)
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Oh dear. I would never!
- 7/12/2009 12:22 PM
- journalofsparkles@xanga (message)
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yes in wud
- 7/12/2009 12:28 PM
- pansybradshaw@xanga (message)
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No. D:
- 7/12/2009 12:29 PM
- ichigo705@xanga (message)
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No!

(And for the fear of vengeful wives - the girl wouldn't have NEARLY as much to fear as the cheating husband, don't you worry ;) )
- 7/12/2009 12:29 PM
- whitetrashpoet@xanga (message)
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no.
- 7/12/2009 12:31 PM
- MissPixieGlitter@xanga (message)
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Maybe, if I didn't know they were married.

I think the question should be elaborated a little. Would they still be married, but divorcing? Or just married, and one of them (if not both) is dating/cheating? Or if it was an open marriage? Hm?

A little to consider...
- 7/12/2009 12:59 PM
- ViciousGrin63@xanga (message)
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Hell no. Fucking disrespectful and whorish.
- 7/12/2009 12:59 PM
- MangoWOW@xanga (message)
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@ViciousGrin63@xanga - I'm with you. There really does need to be some elaboration. I'm currently going through a divorce that has been going on for almost a year now. I have another friend whose divorce has taken almost two years now (she hasn't seen her husband in over two years...like I haven't seen mine in almost a year); I'd hate to think someone would think she was in the wrong for dating again.
As for dating someone who is actively married...no way.
- 7/12/2009 1:03 PM
- So_My_Life_Begins@xanga (message)
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are they disease free?
haha NO just kidding. or am I? ( dun dun dun!)
- 7/12/2009 1:42 PM
- TheUnbearableLightnessofPeeing@xanga (message)
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Ew... no. I would never.
- 7/12/2009 1:53 PM
- aiinos@xanga (message)
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I think this is pretty black and white..
and no, I don't like being a homewrecker.
- 7/12/2009 2:25 PM
- InTheThin@xanga (message)
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No way. As the wife that has had a female actively pursue her husband, I would NEVER do that. If the man was married and was remaining married, no way that I would come into that relationship. If he was going thru a divorce...maybe.
- 7/12/2009 2:51 PM
- brandi_shawn@xanga (message)
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@ViciousGrin63@xanga - Exactly. There can be a lot more to the situation, and under certain circumstances it could be okay.
- 7/12/2009 2:53 PM
- disorderedpersonality@xanga (message)
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No I would not. Whether they were together or not, if they're still legally married, they're still married. I have respect for laws & vows.
- 7/12/2009 2:55 PM
- Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga (message)
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@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - Ditto. I was going to say the exact same thing.
- 7/12/2009 3:10 PM
- XxFireXboltxX@xanga (message)
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No.. I would never do that- unless the guy never told me that he was married.
- 7/12/2009 3:38 PM
- BeautifulDisaster04@xanga (message)
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no, i would never date someone who is still married. i knew a girl who did it, and it quickly became a nightmare, the wife wouldn't let her go and it became basically war between the three of them. it's basically playing with fire with dating a married man, he's got a family, he's got priorities, and any girl in her right mind should know that and just walkaway.
- 7/12/2009 3:49 PM
- superGchik@xanga (message)
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I agree with @ViciousGrin63@xanga and @So_My_Life_Begins@xanga - Mainly because I was in this situation. I was dating someone for 10 days before the divorce was actually finalized, so I did technically date a married man. And we're still dating.
- 7/12/2009 4:22 PM
- lauralen@xanga (message)
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I believe that one of my family members is doing this right now. The man she is interested in is her best friend and has been for years, even before he got married to his now-wife. Some things happened and they were unable to date (they were both seeing other people or never saw each other "that way" or whatever) and basically they didn't realize what they had until it was gone (that old cliche). Now the man is in a loveless marriage where they are staying together solely because the wife is content and the man doesn't want to hurt her... but he's in love with my aunt. And she is in love with him. And together they have everything that anyone could ever wish to find in another person, it's just that he is not available to my aunt. It's kind of hard to watch. I'm of the camp that if the love left the marriage than you should be leaving too, but not everyone thinks the way I do; some people, much to my dismay, stay in marriages that they themselves are not in, because it's more socially acceptable or more religiously permissible or "for the kids" or a whole host of other reasons. I wish more people would be more honest with themselves about what they want and what would make them the most happy, and then make a responsible decision based on that, but no one really does.
Everyone is saying that this is so "black and white" but it's really not. Not even close.
(As for me, I'm not sure what I would do. I'd probably but a lot of pressure on the other person to choose between the other person and myself. OR, I would work hard to find a way that we can all coexist. I am all in favor of multiple consenting lovers. If my partner's partner could find it in their heart to open their life up to include me, I would be more than happy with this arrangement of three. But in my world, honesty rules. While I wouldn't date someone who was married and keeping it a secret from their spouse, I would date someone who was married and separating from their spouse or married and had permission from their spouse.)
- 7/12/2009 4:28 PM
- xthread@xanga (message)
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as much as everyone's on here saying "oh my goodness no i would never ... " evidently people do date people when they are still technically married. divorce isn't something that goes away that quickly or easily. so i'm not gonna lie + say no i would never ...
- 7/12/2009 5:26 PM
- turnyalightsdownlow@xanga (message)
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i cannot believe this is even being asked right now. you've got to be kidding me; the answer should obviously be no. actually, i take that back, the answer should be never. dating a married man or married woman is just wrong. how do you think the wife/husband would feel? i dont care if the man/woman is not happy in his/her relationship, he's/she's the one that chose to spend the rest of their life with them. they have priorities and a family to support. just put yourself in the wife's/husband's shoes for a second and realize how it would feel on the other end. If the man/woman had been divorced for many years, then i could see dating someone who was married. but the keyword in that sentence is "was". never with someone who is "still".
- 7/12/2009 5:32 PM
- sunshinesasha@xanga (message)
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No. There are plenty of "single" fishes in the sea. Why take someone who already has a bait? Hm.
- 7/12/2009 6:44 PM
- jeezshoua@xanga (message)
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