I have been dating this boy, S, for close to 8 months. We have similar backgrounds, mentalities, feelings. Of course, we argue and cry (mostly me, really) and become frustrated with each other but in the end, we always resolve our problems. Except for one thing.
Pork.
I love pork. I grew up eating roast pork buns. I salivate for chicharrón, Korean fried rice, pork chops. The problem: S is Muslim. He drinks, smokes, does everything he’s not really supposed to do, except eat pork, and when I’m with him I’m not allowed to eat it. He says it’s like “second-hand eating pork” – indirectly eating it.
We have gotten into so many fights over this because I’m really not willing to give up pork for him. We have similar tastes in food, but it gets frustrating at the fact that I can’t eat my favorite dishes whenever he’s around. And whenever we talk about our future, one of the main obstacles is this particular meat. I’ve tried to offer compromises, but he’s steadfast against it, and for now, I’ve let it slide.
So, have you ever had to give up something for someone? Something that you were adamant about? If you didn’t, how were you able to find the middle ground?
Recommend
Comments (70)
eat your pork and tell him your not muslim so you should indulge all the fatty pork you can handle.
@bukeshow@xanga - hahaha, agreed(:
@babycakes__2l0@xanga - good. I've been trying to find something good to discuss 2nite but it seems like xanga is dead today
@bukeshow@xanga - also agreed.
Seriously, does he show any respect for your other beliefs? I mean, sure, pork is not a belief, but .... really now. If he's not aiming for you to convert, you should be able to do what you want.
@Wait_by_Moonlight@xanga - good point.
Pork.Pork is good.
Eat it in another room or when he's not around.
If he's already doing everything that he's not supposed to do, why does this pork bother him so much? Hm.
he can smoke and drink (probably around you) but you can't eat pork? and second-hand pork eating? what kind of bullshit is that? tell him if he wants you to stop eating pork then he can stop doing not good shit.
If he's doing other things that he's not supposed to, then I think he can live with YOU eating pork. He's not doing it, you are. You aren't Muslim, he is. If he's doing things against his own religion, then why can't you do something as simple as that?
If he's not willing to find a middle ground at all, then there's not much left for you to do other than blatantly ignore him or give up pork.
I've never had to give anything up, I don't believe. I do believe that even so, my boyfriend and I would be able to find a middle ground. Maturity allows this, yes?
Seeing as he doesn't do the other things he's supposed to do, tell him that you shouldn't have to give up the one thing that he is actually willing to follow. Tell him he is being selfish.
I'm not a huge fan of pork but I do love bacon on my cheeseburgers... if someone told me I had to give up cheeseburgers for him I'd give him a big fat N-O!!! Learn to deal, man!
HHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAA!
That's fucking hilarious!
Hehe..
I actually saw toilet paper the other day that had bacon slices on it, wouldn't he love that?!
@snowvampire@xanga - love your profile pic!!
"second-hand eating"? WTF? If others are "vegansexual," this fellow is "Muslimsexual," and I think you should probably be looking for someone better.
(Granted, I'm vegetarian, and all for not eating pork. But "second-hand eating" is an absurd notion, and anyone who would base relationships on such notions is not worthy of your affection.)
Drinking and smoking but not eating pork and then not allowing you to eat it? That's such bullshit. If I were you, I'd slowly indulge in some bacon in front of him just because of that.
I love pork.
Cha sieu bao is too good to give up.
@Babii_Dragon@xanga - Yum.
At least now if you ever want to torture him when you guys break up.. You can buy a nice roast pig and eat it in front of him while you break up.
what a control freak..
i used to be a vegetarian (kinda still consider myself one)
& my bf's a carnivoreeee.
We compromise...
ur bf should too,
@AznFier@xanga -
I LOVE THAT IDEA! Get the kind that comes in a huge wooden box to seal the deal.
Just eat it.
Secondhand pork, haha.
My boyfriend does not eat mammals, so I predict we will be eating a lot of chicken in the future. I think as long as he lets me escape a few times a year to get a nice steak or something, I don't mind giving it up. However, that's because red meat isn't my absolute favorite. In your case, I can see how this might be tricky. What about if you eat pork when he isn't around? Could you live with that, or is this something you must eat every week? It does seem rather unreasonable that he is willing ot bend the rules on all those other areas but not this one.
compromise? he should let you eat pork around him, but you should eat less. eating too much meat is not good for you anyway.
p.s. one of my muslim friends caves when we order anything with bacon... perhaps you can try that tactic!
If he does things that is against his faith, why should he bothers so much about what you eat around him anyway? If he is true to his faith, then he has a lot to proof to you instead of you showing respect to his faith. People with strong religious beliefs don't fall easily to temptations.
pork sounds like a scapegoat for a bigger problem in your relationship. just saying...
pork's fucking delicious. if you fully cook it, then it's fine for you. sure you've killed the parasites and it's still in the meat, but how many foods have parasites in them? you wouldn't want to know. plus smoking and drinking is more harmful.
second hand pork? seriously? if he wants to get his way he should try using arguments that actually make sense and stop pulling things out of his arse. that is absolutely ridiculous and shouldn't even considered as a reason why you shouldn't be able to eat it. tell him he's being a hypocrite. what you eat doesn't make him shit.
as for all the diseases that pork allegedly carries- so does beef and chicken and just about everything else. that's what your immune system is for- to kill such parasites and diseases. btw, that e.coli scare a couple yrs ago came from tomatoes and scallions. get my point? there are worse things than pork-- like drinking and smoking.