Saturday, 11 July 2009
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Follow-Up: Am I Being Paranoid?
Thank you very much for reading my post and answering my questions. I am extremely grateful! In turn, I wrote this to address some of the questions that you guys have posed me.This seems to be a popular question and looking back - I probably should have answered it in the first post rather than wasting Datingish space. My boyfriend is taking her on vacation because his parents told him to invite one of his friends. So he extended an invitation to this girl. He never really indicated when he asked her. He just said, "A long while back."
They cannot stay in separate rooms because it is his parents' 25th anniversary and this is something of a "second honeymoon"; it is also the same hotel his parents spent for their honeymoon. She cannot get her own room because the hotel is booked solid. The hotel was recently remodeled and many people looked into it.
My boyfriend recently discussed these plans with me again and I said I trusted him. He thanked me and promised "loads and loads of presents." He also said that if I was uncomfortable with the situation, to talk to his friend, as she only wants me to know that she is trying to respect the wishes of both my boyfriend and I.
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Comments (41)
Wow sounds like your just SOL. and Hope things workout for both of yall.Goodluck
Loads and loads of presents?
Well, you're a better woman than I. I would never be okay with something like this.
I wish you all the best.
I think it's an excellent approach on both ends and it's good that your boyfriend moreless knows how you feel.
Good luck!
They are totally going to screw. I can't believe you're buying this.
The only thing you can do in this situation is to go ahead and trust him. I mean he hasn't done anything for you not to right?
YOUUUUURRRRR SOOOOOO STUUUPPPPPIIIIDDDDDD, GET A CLUE CHICK FORREAL. EVERYONE KNOWS WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN. TRUST ME IN THE END UR GOING TO BE ALONE AND THAT GIRL IS GOING TO BE WITH YOUR MAN LIVING IT UP IN A HOTEL....LMAOOOOO I FEEL SORRY FOR U.
the "loads and loads of presents" is an eyebrow raiser. and i call bs on the hotel room thing.
well i wouldnt let him. but if youre okay with it, then its fine.
@coolmonkey@xanga - Exactly.
@votedmostwanted - I think planning a vacation with the female best friend staying IN HIS ROOM is most definitely cause for her not to trust him.
Hun, you are not being paranoid, but you are being naive. I mean, his parents aren't even surprised by it and are giving them the go-ahead to stay in the same room. My advice is don't make the boyfriend choose between you two. You get the jump on the situation and tell him it's over.
Why couldn't he ask you or any of his other guy friends?
You can trust him but you'll never know what's going to happen. Anything can happen.
"He also said that if I was uncomfortable with the situation, to talk to his friend, as she only wants me to know that she is trying to respect the wishes of both my boyfriend and I. "
If she was really respectful of your wishes, she wouldn't be going on this trip with a guy that has a boyfriend. She has no reserves to begin with, so why would your boyfriend suddenly be off limits? You may trust him, and even though I highly doubt it, he might have no intentions towards this woman... the fact that he is even disrespecting you by opting to stay with her in the same room is a big warning flag. There's a reason things appear the way they do... 'cause more often or not, that's how it is.
It seems like all four of them are going on a family vacation. I would never put up with this.
It sounds like he is being really inconsiderate. If he sense that you might not be okay with it, he shouldn't be going on the trip with his friend.
You're giving him a big amount of trust, but this guy doesn't seem worth it!! Leave him before you get hurt~ because there are guys out there who deserve your trust more.
im sorry for u, it sounds awfully disrespectful on his part because if he knows that it bugs you in the slightest bit he would not go through with it, the fact that he is gonna have another girl in the same room as him ( friend of yours or not ) is proof enough that he does not take your feelings in consideration. We men are weak headed at times and could give in to temptation very easily, i hope you work up the courage to let him know that if he goes through with it that its over, its only gonna get worse if you continue because he'll try to push to see how much he can do before you snap. hope you all the best
-S4nt1
@jeezshoua@xanga - Same question I had.
I think this Is for sure a, "I better suck It up and get through It." kind of thing. Just trust him and hope for the best. It sounds like he's very much so In-love with you. I too tend to worry about problems before they happen. Just go with the flow.(:
"A long while back," probably means before you were dating
It still doesn't sit right with me...
But as long as you trust him, then that's all that matters.
Hm.... okay.... as long as you trust him.
(I think that hotel excuse is crap... somethings def gonna go wronggg.)
If she is really his friend, she would understand the fact that he has a girlfriend and that he prefers to be with you rather than her right?? I mean it´s not like he promised her anything it´s just a friend. Also I think there is a lot of excuses about the hotel, I mean I would tell my parents that they can stay there but as I am taking a girl friend with me and is just a friend the proper thing for her is to have her own room right? even if we have to stay in different hotels. Also a girl who accepts to stay with a male friend in the same room knowing that he has a girlfriend do not have a lot of respect about herself right? and also the parents of your boyfriend are too much liberals don´t you think?? the question is.. do you know the girl? why doesn´t he introduce her properly to you if she is just a friend. For me it sounds like he is or an innocent idiot (in that case you should get a better bf) or he is actually wanting to cheat you without cheat.
Holy shit these people who have commented before me are untrusting. What the fuck. Guys and girls can't just be friends? I suppose if a bisexual were to be in this situation he or she should just go alone, because they couldn't be trusted to not have sex with whoever they were having stay with them, guy or girl? Get a fucking grip, people. I work at a hotel and yes, hotels do book up, it's not just some lameass excuse. Also rooming together does not automatically equate to anything sexual happening. Sorry. I do believe that guys and girls can just be friends. I do truly believe that.
Props to the author of this post for being trusting and mature.
find out sooner or later
this sounds more shady with your new details
So, for one, if you know where they are going to be staying why not call the hotel and find out if they have any more rooms yourself. Another thing, is if he was told to invite a friend, why did he not invite you, being his girlfriend, instead of this other girl. And staying in a hotel room, you can request a cot so either one of them can sleep on it instead of in the same bed or on a couch if there is one.
If they are only staying in the room together because there is no other way around it then why are they not looking into any other details of sleeping arrangements? It sounds suspicious to me.