So, a few months ago my boyfriend and I were in a bad way and we took some time off to date other people and figure out whether or not we wanted to work things out or go our separate ways. I ended up in a situation with someone else that pretty much guaranteed heartbreak on all three sides of the triangle. Bad move, I know. Needless to say, I'm back with my boyfriend and I broke things off with said individual to give my relationship a real shot.
I know I made a mistake, and my SO and I are on the road to redemption and all things happy. However, the guy I got involved with while we were broken up can't seem to let the idea of "us" go. He is convinced that we'll get back together once summer is through and he's in the area again. No matter what I do to try and get past it, he seems to be right there with an emotional Facebook status or an unsettling conversation with my roommate. Also, he reads my Datingish posts on a regular basis and I'm sure he'll have something to say about this.
But really, I need your help. My boyfriend says he can't fully get over what happened and move on until my biggest fan is out of the picture, and I don't blame him. What can I do to resolve this situation?
Recommend
Comments (18)
haha, let me know how you solve this one because I've got a "Mr.Can't Let Go" too!
Be as blunt as possible. Tell him to get out of you life in as many words, and even threaten a restraining order if necessary. That, or when you do see him, be as obnoxiously close with your SO as possible, so as to get the point across.
Some people don't know the pain they cause untill they're hurt. This is that case...not physically, but verbally, in some way show that you are over this guy, and you want to get on with your life. Having a third-wheel effect your current relationship is BS.
...or do as what Vashts6583 (Ha, Vash the stampede, awesome) said, PDA infront of a third wheel is effective...and hopefully wont backfire and make him more jealous/determined.
KICK HIM IN HIS JUNK AND RUN.
When are people going to start taking my advice?
@ViciousGrin63@xanga - I guess that advice only works for women eh?
I guess the guy version would be, punch them in the boob and run?
Why can't your bf get over it and move on? He did date other people too, didn't he? As for the third wheel, all you can do is bluntly tell him that you're no longer interested and you're back with your boy toy. Other than that, he'll have to get the clue himself.
@garon@xanga - Well, I'm not a woman and I know how to deliver a foot to the garbage.
It might be, but I think it could be misconstrued as sexual harrassment. Then you'd just be screwed.
@ViciousGrin63@xanga - LOL yeah thats true
@ViciousGrin63@xanga - Lol I think that would be funny.
I really dislike persistent guys. When I dumped this one guy he begged me to give him another chance while on the ground. I was like wtf. Just tell this guy to fuck off, block him on everything. Don't respond to his texts if he texts.
@xjadersx@xanga - To Miss Gorilla: do what xjadersx said, and if he's still persistent then, kick him in his junk and run.
That might work better.
@thinkpinkpanther@xanga - same here!
uh....block him??
Tell him that he and you like that aren't happening and if he doesn't get the picture, then you start manually erasing him from your life (i.e. deleting him from your facebook friends, ignoring/blocking his phone calls and text messages). Manually cutting him out of your life may be the only way he'll get the idea that you and he aren't happening.
I like what that person said before. Kick him in his junk and RUN
We need to find him a new girl, Once school starts again (and I assume he is living on campus again) He will do all of his old tricks and start talking to some new girl.
AND if he is still pulling this stuff with you once school starts I'll punch him in the face.
Love you!
I was almost exactly in your situation, the only difference is that it was my ex that couldn't let go and accept that I was with someone new (and had been for the past year and a half).
I'd tried everything. I'd told him over and over again that there was just no chance of anything happening, but still he persisted. Nearly 2 years after we broke up though, he finally got the message. We're still friends, but he doesn't...well, obsess over the non-existent "us" anymore.
In the end, if time doesn't fix it and get this guy to clue in, you'd be best to sever ties. Don't you talk to him and don't have your roommates or anyone else you know talking to him. Delete him off your friends, just everything. Make sure he has absolutely no contact with you or with anyone that can tell him what you're up to. He'll get it then.
tell him to fuck off.
Block him on facebook, don't answer calls, tell your roommate you don't want to hear about him. He's putting sad statuses on fb because he knows you'll see it, talks to your roommate because he knows she'll tell you. He's just doing these things to make sure you don't forget about him and that's what you have to do!
You have to tell him straight up. If that doesn't work, you need to make sure he is completely out and stays out of your life. That means there should be no possible way you can read his Facebook statuses. If all else fails, restraining order. Seriously. It's borderline emotional abuse if he continues to lay a guilt trip on you to go back out with him.