After my last serious relationship, I never really thought that I could find love again. I was actually quite bitter and close minded when it came to finding somebody who was right for me. Before I could object, my heart led me to Kevin. I work at a convenience store, and he would come in every day to refill his drink. I always thought he was rather irritating and never paid him any mind. One day, I actually talked to him, and connected. I really started to like him. I got the warm fuzzy feelings whenever he would come in and I would actually look forward to seeing him. He asked me out on a date and shortly afterward, we became an official couple.
One night, he came to the store looking rather sad. He said he needed to talk to me about something very important. All I could think was "Oh God, he's going to break up with me." So, we walked around the building and he looked at me and said, "There's something I really need to tell you. I'm afraid you'll leave me, but I can't hide this from you." From that point on, I didn't know what to expect. He then told me some of the most horrifying news that any girlfriend could ever hear. We only have approximately three months together because come August, he will be most likely be receiving a prison sentence. He then told me this horrible story about how a girl lied about a situation that happened between them to avoid getting into trouble with her parents. So basically, he is being accused of forcing an underage girl to perform sexual favors. Now here is the thing about Kevin....
I am his first girlfriend. He is a big geek. Most women tend to avoid guys like him because they are "uncool". However, he is by far one of the most caring, sincere, and honest people that I have ever met in my entire life. He told me what really happened, and his story is believable, because it does in fact happen all of the time. When he was 18 (he's now 21), his friend wanted to hook him up with this girl he knew. Kevin's "friend", nor the girl, were generous enough to mention the girl was way underage. The girl came on to Kevin, and they fooled around.
You know, stuff kids do when they are in high school. Not even full blown sexual intercourse or anything. It was a one time deal, and Kevin never heard from her again. One day he gets a letter from court. The girl accused him of holding a knife to her throat. This didn't happen. He swears on his life, and you know what, say what you will, I can believe him. What really happened was some teen got busted by mommy and daddy and didn't want to get grounded from the internet and her cell phone. So why not ruin someone's life? Why not ruin mine?
Now, even though he didn't hold a knife to her throat, the law is still kicking my babe's butt, because the girl was underage. This is where I think Megan's Law fails. Michael Jackson can molest children, pay off the families, and walk. My boyfriend can make one honest mistake, and honestly, a mistake, remember, he didn't know her age...and go to state prison.
Back to my story... he tells me this, and I am in complete shock. But right then, I said what I felt was right in my heart. I said, "Kevin, look at me. Don't cry. You are great to me, and everyone is entitled to one mess up. Honestly, I could see us going far, and I am not going to leave you, not now, and maybe even not then."
So here I am, a month and a half later. My heart breaks more and more every day. Why? Because I fell in love with him. He's become my best friend, and the most amazing boyfriend that I've had so far. Every moment with him is exciting, and I just love being with him. But as my heart grows fonder, the time flies by faster. And at this point, I am mortified by the thought of him going away for that long. What happens if he gets six years? And even three is a long time. A very long time to be away from someone you love. Will he forget about me? Will I meet someone new? These questions are constantly racing through my mind. I often cry myself to sleep at night thinking about it. As it stands now, I am going to stay with him...through all of it. I am not going to give up, because love, real love is rare, and I think this could be my real deal. And if it's not? Well, we'll see. It's all too soon to tell. But as it stands now, neither distance, time, nor prison walls can separate us.
What would you do in a situation like this?
I would personally like to thank Megan's Law for the heartbreak that I am going to have to endure.
My next blog? "My boyfriend is a registered sex offender."
Comments (377)
this reminds me of the 52 stars tattoo girl... and the girl whose mom is suing a hotel, claiming her daughter got pregnant by swimming in it...
stupid little bitches. stop lying and fucking up people's lives!
they're too young to realize or care about the extent of what they're doing.
i really am sorry that you and your boyfriend have to go through this.
i believe him, especially because come on... holding a knife to her throat?? please. from the way you describe him, i highly doubt he'd ever, EVER even think of doing anything like that.
It sounds like his word against hers. His friend that hooked them up needs to be involved b/c the girl never told him she was underage in the first place. I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope it works out for you guys.
The truth of the matter is that you don't really know what happened. You love him, that's great...love is good...but blind also. People think they really know someone, and are surprised by the things they are capable of doing. I'm still shocked about what people have done years ago. You really can't ever know someone good enough. I hope that is not true in your case. I hope that you use this opportunity to really get to know him and make memories before he is sentenced. I hope that if her story really is bogus, that they will see through it and give him a light sentence. Stick by him as long as you feel he's worth it.
First of all,just because someone accuses something of doing such acts doesn't mean they actually did it, OP. You of all people should know.
So because people accused MJ of doing such things that means he automatically did it?
Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty?
Anyway, you're getting what you deserve, then.
Plus, MJ didn't settle. He didn't even want to pay those people in the first place. His insurance company went back on his and his attorney's wishes, get your facts straight.
http://whoismichael.com/gavin-arvizo.htm
Well , my friend is in this situation now ..
She's sticking by her mans side for the next 22 months while he's in prison ..
He's a good friend of mine , too . So , i'm also being there for him as much as I can ..
She's met other people who are really nice to her .. But she knows in her heart that she loves him .. And no other guy can take his spot .
I think if you know you love him , stand by his side .
That's why you don't fool around with someone who you just met.
Can't he fight it? Take a lie detector test? I'm sure he has rights.
I wouldn't stand by a felon, sorry. Innocent or not, if he becomes a registered sex offender and you stay with him, that follows YOU forever. It'll effect your friendships, and your children's lives if other parents find out. Plus, he's probably not innocent. I dated a guy who, I was told, tried to rape another girl. There was no court case, but my friends told me about it. He was so nice and sweet to me, I didn't believe it. That is, until he tried to rape me.
Have you even been with him long enough to know he doesn't have a bad side?
i think she was just using MJ as an example.
i mean MJ did buy his way out of his situation
and that just proves how money works with the legal system
@mynameisblueskye@xanga - oh.. thanx for that info. now i know. and i think it is unfair. women ask for equal rights, so women have to be treated equally. i'm a female(obviously) but i still rather be treated equally. that girl should have been more responsible and mature enough to take the consequences.
that is why we should think of the consequences of our own actions.
=/ Thats harsh. They should really change that law, it's not always true. Half the time, the girls (as in this case) cause all the stupid trouble.
Oh, and by the way, by using your opinion of the MJ case, you're only suggesting that your boyfriend is guilty (because you think MJ's guilty and got away with it) and that you wished your boyfriend could "settle" out.
Love is indeed blind.
That's a long time >.< Best of luck to you and your boyfriend.
Situations like this are why some states give a few years' leeway. I think here in FL you have to be within 3 or 4 years of each other or something. It really isn't fair when people get in trouble for little things like that just because the other party says it was a crime.
What's sad is that even if he's innocent, the chance of him proving so in court is slim to none. Our criminal justice system is so out of wack that only like 5-10% of cases actually have a trial.. What is usually offered is a plea bargain, which is when the defendent pleads guilty. They still receive a punishment but for some reason, it's not as harsh as if he were proven guilty during his trial.. There's no such thing as "innocent until proven guilty.."
Good luck.
Good luck. I hope everything works out for the best.
I say "No ID, No sexual fun of any kind". Your boyfriend should have been smarter. Sorry about what your going threw, but don't blam a law for something your boyfriend could have prevented in the 1st place. I'm sure your in love, but when it comes to the real world, with that type of feolny on his record he'll never be able to get a comfortable paying job. Good luck!
Your Michael Jackson thing was out of line. However, I know someone who just got finished serving 3 years for "raping" a girl who was completely consentual - same situation. I know how you feel, and it sucks. Sorry for your hard times.
Be strong.
You're all he's got now.
I wish you the best of luck.
oh my god someone she loves might be going to jail and all u guys can say is "dont bring mj into this"
really hes fucking dead
the dead dont rise again like twilight
hes not coming back
im sorry if u actually new him but if u never really met him seriously he could have molested those kids for all you know
the bigger deal here is that this girl is blogging about her and her boyfriends problems not about michael jackson
so can everyone focus please on what this post is actually about
and to the writer im sorry and i think that megan's law needs to be revised and soon because too many young adults are labeled sex offenders for the rest of their lives for having naked pictures of their girlfriends even if they both are underaged
its totally unfair and just wrong
Leave MJ out of this, bitch!
@care@momaroo - i agree. the knife holding part is a very serious charge. it changes the degree of the assault.
i find that part hard to believe, but you should never assume a geek being nice and caring is all there is to it. in fact, more often than not, they're capable of unexpected changes. you can't know until you've faced their bad side. you may be fortunate because they can't convict a criminal charge without proving beyond a reasonable doubt that he's guilty. also, the knife statement will be important as since it's been introduced, that will have to remain consistent.be prepared though. unless you can think of a good motive for the girl to be raising this complaint, you do understand no one falsely accuses someone of rape unless a) they've been confronted by someone close and want to escape blame (usually with underage girls) b) revenge for something very serious (when you're pissed at someone, is a rape charge something you would do? c) civil suit for moneyunless there's a reason, it's very possible. however, it won't go down without sufficient proof.regarding the comments that said laws and court practice favors women, that is very untrue. 15/16 rapists are never convicted based only on available reports. it actually favors the defendant a lot more. unless there's sufficient reason to believe it happened, the judge will likely dismiss it.
Ignorance is not an excuse in the eyes of the law. He should have asked.
I'm with @care@momaroo I'm not buying the "honest mistake" excuse.
You really need to think about what kind of future you could have with this man. Registered sex offenders are required to follow a stringent set of rules. Having children with this man could mean that he would miss out on a large part of his child's life because of the rules that come along with the "sex offender" label. You didn't know him when this happened, and 3 months would certainly not enough time for me to know enough about a man to make a decision as serious as deciding whether or not to stay with him in this situation.
Megan's law isn't failing. If he's truly not guilty of the charges levied against him then things should work out fine and that girl definitely needs to get some help. Otherwise you need to seriously reevaluate how you want to handle this situation.
@LiL_sWeEt_BaBBii@xanga - Megan's Law states that all sex offenders must be registered into a database. People with small children who are moving into a neighborhood are told if a registered sex offender lives in the area. A sex offender has to tell people in their neighborhood that they are one. I don't like this law for two reasons. The first is that no other crime has an equivalent law, so it's inconsistent to have this for sex offenders and not murderers. Secondly, it ruins lives. There have been cases where an 18-year old has sex with their 17-year old SO, the 17-year old's parents find out, get mad, and book the 18-year old. Then he lives the rest of his life with this metaphorical scarlet letter.
That said, he still fucked up. Regardless of whether her story is true, he did something against the law and is going to get served regardless. Whether for rape or something more minor, he will be registered as a sex offender and will live the rest of his life dealing with this.