After my last serious relationship, I never really thought that I could find love again. I was actually quite bitter and close minded when it came to finding somebody who was right for me. Before I could object, my heart led me to Kevin. I work at a convenience store, and he would come in every day to refill his drink. I always thought he was rather irritating and never paid him any mind. One day, I actually talked to him, and connected. I really started to like him. I got the warm fuzzy feelings whenever he would come in and I would actually look forward to seeing him. He asked me out on a date and shortly afterward, we became an official couple.
One night, he came to the store looking rather sad. He said he needed to talk to me about something very important. All I could think was "Oh God, he's going to break up with me." So, we walked around the building and he looked at me and said, "There's something I really need to tell you. I'm afraid you'll leave me, but I can't hide this from you." From that point on, I didn't know what to expect. He then told me some of the most horrifying news that any girlfriend could ever hear. We only have approximately three months together because come August, he will be most likely be receiving a prison sentence. He then told me this horrible story about how a girl lied about a situation that happened between them to avoid getting into trouble with her parents. So basically, he is being accused of forcing an underage girl to perform sexual favors. Now here is the thing about Kevin....
I am his first girlfriend. He is a big geek. Most women tend to avoid guys like him because they are "uncool". However, he is by far one of the most caring, sincere, and honest people that I have ever met in my entire life. He told me what really happened, and his story is believable, because it does in fact happen all of the time. When he was 18 (he's now 21), his friend wanted to hook him up with this girl he knew. Kevin's "friend", nor the girl, were generous enough to mention the girl was way underage. The girl came on to Kevin, and they fooled around.
You know, stuff kids do when they are in high school. Not even full blown sexual intercourse or anything. It was a one time deal, and Kevin never heard from her again. One day he gets a letter from court. The girl accused him of holding a knife to her throat. This didn't happen. He swears on his life, and you know what, say what you will, I can believe him. What really happened was some teen got busted by mommy and daddy and didn't want to get grounded from the internet and her cell phone. So why not ruin someone's life? Why not ruin mine?
Now, even though he didn't hold a knife to her throat, the law is still kicking my babe's butt, because the girl was underage. This is where I think Megan's Law fails. Michael Jackson can molest children, pay off the families, and walk. My boyfriend can make one honest mistake, and honestly, a mistake, remember, he didn't know her age...and go to state prison.
Back to my story... he tells me this, and I am in complete shock. But right then, I said what I felt was right in my heart. I said, "Kevin, look at me. Don't cry. You are great to me, and everyone is entitled to one mess up. Honestly, I could see us going far, and I am not going to leave you, not now, and maybe even not then."
So here I am, a month and a half later. My heart breaks more and more every day. Why? Because I fell in love with him. He's become my best friend, and the most amazing boyfriend that I've had so far. Every moment with him is exciting, and I just love being with him. But as my heart grows fonder, the time flies by faster. And at this point, I am mortified by the thought of him going away for that long. What happens if he gets six years? And even three is a long time. A very long time to be away from someone you love. Will he forget about me? Will I meet someone new? These questions are constantly racing through my mind. I often cry myself to sleep at night thinking about it. As it stands now, I am going to stay with him...through all of it. I am not going to give up, because love, real love is rare, and I think this could be my real deal. And if it's not? Well, we'll see. It's all too soon to tell. But as it stands now, neither distance, time, nor prison walls can separate us.
What would you do in a situation like this?
I would personally like to thank Megan's Law for the heartbreak that I am going to have to endure.
My next blog? "My boyfriend is a registered sex offender."
Comments (377)
I think that the law needs to be changed. It's obvious that times have progressed past all of this and if a tool doesn't suite a job then you need to either change the tool or get a new one, and the law and government are a tool for the people to be protected and preserved and promote justice for the innocent. If this ever happened to me I don't know what I would do. It would truly be heartbreaking and I would probably be the next to be locked up because of all the anger. Though weather I go to jail or just an asylum I am not sure. Pain like that... it's not something one can fully understand without going through it.
that's a terrible thing that some naive ho ruined both you and your boyfriend lives. if anyone knew anything, she's the one that obviously knew he was much older than she was. if she wasn't ready to face the consequences then should not have done the deed. she should have thought twice as she was the one who came onto him, making it her fault.
i know this may sound stupid, but what is the megan's law?
but for the question, i would do the same thing. stand by your man's side, cos he needs you more than before. it may seem like you're gonna be his source of strength to get through with this.
i wish you good luck.
Wow that's rough. I'm sorry for your bad luck. There really isn't any way out of it, is there?
wow. thats a long distance relationship on top of a road block.
i wish i knew what to do in your shoes. otherwise, i'd know what to do in mine.really, you're going to have a choice- to fight those long, hard, and lonely years for the love you believe in now, and in the future, granted you don't tire of it.or, you could be selfish, and move on. and don't automatically associate the word selfish negatively, because you do have a right to make yourself happy....for now, don't waste your time crying. august is coming up quite quickly. be happy- cherish the joy you're sharing with the one you love- the honeymoon stage never last forever...
good luck.
i feel for you. it must be so difficult to have to go through all of that and it really isnt fair that some imature girl did this to your boyfriend. the best thing to do is to stick by him. be strong for him. after his sentancing hes going to need someone to rely on and to lean on. make sure you are there for him.
as for the megans law thing, i understand it was put in place to protect children. but as with everything, sometimes the rules need to be bent. unfortunatly, they probably will not be but it is about time the rules got re examined.
best of luck to you and your boyfriend
Not really appropriate to drag Jackson's name through the mud to make a point is it? While this situation is a bummer, you'll live. Also, that's why you ask to see ID before taking off clothes.
@IfIWereAchilles@xanga - As harsh as it may sound, I agree with this guy. And please leave MJ out of this.
Your boyfriend's friend needs to be involved in the court case. He is, after all, kind of responsible for what happened. He didn't bother to tell your boyfriend how old that girl was. So maybe he should try to back him up, right?
Best of luck to the both of you.
Always ask for id...
@LiL_sWeEt_BaBBii@xanga - I think the Megan's Law has to do with the fact that women will always be in favor over the male, in the eyes of the law. So, if the man is accused as a sex offender, he will get the book thrown hard at him. If the woman coerced him into it. He will still get the book thrown at him. Granted, if it were her as a teacher and the other way around, it would have ben the same way, but since this is seen as a rape, he is going to prison, no matter what he says. It can be a prank, and he might still go to prison, depending on if the joke is kept up.
In this case, I'll send your boyfriend my peace and love, and hope he gets pardoned. There is enough sex offenders out here, but it was dirty of somebody to get an innocent man thrown in jail. That is seriously a screwed-up situation.
@IfIWereAchilles@xanga - Drag his name through mud? She only speaks fact. Michael Jackson was taken to court for child molestation where he settled a case. I know that settling a case does not mean admission of guilt, but many can construe it that way. Some people are just fortunate enough to have that opportunity (to settle), namely the rich and famous. I don't know if anyone would want to settle a case with this guy because, if he had enough money, trust me, the girl would take it and drop the charges. I think that it is a valid contrast to her boyfriend's situation. She could have picked almost any celebrity figure, but she chose to name Michael Jackson. And what exactly is wrong or slanderous about that?
And that goes for AdiOpERsOcoM@xanga too.
I don't get you people. Sure, he had nothing really to do with the situation, but I don't find what she said offensive at all. It's true he was never found guilty, technically. So that part of what she says is not actually correct. I know that's how many people see it though. By his own admission, he did allow the children to share his bed. Draw your own conclusions. Many people do. And him settling the case to get it out of court has been used against him, even though he was never found guilty. Now if she says that "Michael Jackson will rot in hell for sleeping with little boys", I could see you arguing then. (Not saying this is my opinion, just as an example.) But, really, why get your panties in a bunch over what she said?
As to the actual topic at hand, try it out. You never know how things will turn up til you get there, so enjoy the ride and hope it goes the direction you want. And if the sentence hasn't been decided yet, you never know, he could get a lucky break and not get too much time. Wait and see where the ride takes you.
@IfIWereAchilles@xanga - Deff agree with him, Imma say this, keep MJ out of it because MJ dont have anything to do with your boyfriends mess that he caused on himself. Matter fact Tell your boyfriend to Start looking at I.D's so he dont get into this kind of mess again. but then again there is always 2 sides to A story and yeah u believe him because your "in love" for now ....but only him and that girl will know the truth and u need to stay out of it. Just be there for him but u have no place to put blame on anyone because u dont know what happen so calm down and just deal with it.
@MarksBeneathTheSkin@xanga - people are just sensitive right now because of his death. it's just what it is for now.
@MarksBeneathTheSkin@xanga - Whoa, chill mate. I didn't take it as offensive at all, and his recent death has nothing to do with it, I just think it was a bit much to mention him when we don't know for certain what happened. His life was not ours and it's none of our business. I'm not one to judge, so who's to know for sure.
And no offense to you but I'm sleepy as hell and could only skim through that comment.
so much for being inocent until proven guilty. sounds like a bad case of he said she said and a poor lawyer.
I bet once he gets in, i think he can start appeals for his sentence. I mean if it is a he said, she said thing..then i really think they need more proof to lock him off. And even you can do something, you can lobby to get that law changed. Believe me your voice will be heard if you do something.
I mean it sucks, but remember it isn't over even when he goes to prison. Be active for him, you know? I have a lot of family members in jail...so be active girl. Yeah but stay strong you know?
try to prove what that girl really is. try to prove the truth. try to prove girl is no ethical, try to prove your buddy haven't done anything to deserve being in prison. gain sympathy of people, it helps in getting justice. know everything about girl; it's not tough to bust anyone. we all have dirty secrets gain leverage thru it and than she might withdraw as she seems to be mean slut. you ought to have something which you can use against her to end this case before your buddy gets into the place he doesn't deserve to be in.
you are a girl and only a girl can stop a mean girl. use all your powers of a girl. try to win.
*before doing anything; before making your choice.. just be sure your bf is innocent. cos sometime people aren't. than make your decision.
Be honest with him. If you plan to wait for him then tell him that. But neither of you should ignore the fact that while he's inside you might meet someone else. What you feel now might not be the same in four or seven years and in truth there's no selfishness in finding happiness.
I think he's probably lying.
You don't want to hear it, though, so you probably won't listen to anything anyone else tells you until (if, in all fairness) you see a darker side to him.
I was in a situation almost identical to this...and he was lying.
Good luck, though.
get another lawyer to help...if he is innocent he needs to prove it in court...also he must take polygraph independently...
@sophia@xanga - People die every day. Big deal. I've seen more crap on the news about this than I saw when former US President Ronald Reagan passed, which is ridiculous. I'm tired of seeing and hearing about it. It happened on the 25th of June for crying out loud. It's old news. Move on, America.
@AdiOpERsOcoM@xanga - If you weren't offended, why care? We use examples in conversation all the time, and whether accurate or not, it gets her point across.
I really hope that since they have no proof to find him guilty that she just gets laughed at.
Excuse my language, but that girl is a huge bitch. It's girls like that that make me hate girls [even though I'm a girl myself]. How fucking self-centered do you have to be to do that? People like that make me sick. It's so annoying how the courts take the girl's side no matter what these days. Bugs the shit out of me.
I hope everything works out for you. Stick with him for the time you can. Tell him to not stop fighting.
something tells me the guy is lying...not that i have been in any soup as this...but u said he was 18 and she was way too under age........if she was WAY TOO UNDERAGE he should have had the brains to say no to her...some thing is fishy...anyways good luck to you
The only thing that concerns me is the girl said he held a knife to her. Generally, in statutory rape cases, there's no need to concot a story about having a weapon. If she's not at the age of consent, then even if she agreed to fooling around, its enough for the parents/authorities to press charges. The girls story makes me skeptical of your boyfriend's story. Its just not the "norm" in a case where a girl lies about this kinda situation.
If I gave the benefit of the doubt to your boyfriend, I'd say the girl is mentally disturbed for making up such a story. Still, I don't buy "honest mistake" in that case anymore. Maybe I'm old and stuffy, but If your gonna get a hand job from someone, you oughta know who that someone really is because of the consequences involved.
You can stand by your man, but honestly, for me, love would not be enough to keep me hanging on in this situation.
There's a chance he might not go. If he really didn't know her age, and his friend can vouch for him on that, the law says that that's a legit excuse. (At least it is in Minnesota.)
Have him ask his attourney about it. That girl is worse than eight bitches on a bitch boat. I hate girls like that. I went years without reporting something similar that happened to me because I was 100% terrified. To see someone make up a story just to save her ass makes me madder than anything. I hate girls D:<