Well, before I get into the details of this situation, there's a little backstory that will probably help you make a better judgment on all of it.
I have known my ex-girlfriend, let's call her Angela, since 7th grade. I think it's safe to say that there's always been some sort of attraction between us ever since we've gotten to know each other, really. We tried dating in 8th grade, and that ended awkwardly after a short week. We decided to try again my freshman year of high school, and I lasted a few more months before screwing things up on my end. We went our separate ways for a while, I going into another short relationship, and Angela into a more long-lasting one with a guy that we'll call Chris. When my relationship ended, I became the "best friend" that still had lingering feelings for her.
She continued to date Chris for a little over a year. In the summer before our junior year, she began to confide in me her doubts about her relationship with Chris. The details are irrelevant to the story, but more or less the more insecure she felt, the more we talked. Eventually, the "I still have feelings for you" conversation happened (initiated by her), and it all sort of turned into a mess. Eventually, she left Chris for me, and - go figure - our new relationship, which I thought was going to be perfect, ended up not working out at all... but we left each other on good terms, for the most part. After the dust settled, Angela ended up dating another guy; let's call him Mike.
Fast forward to today. They've been dating for about, say, 7-8 months now. Recently, Angela got engaged to Mike. Angela will be a senior in high school next year, while Mike will be a college freshman.
Before I ask my question, here are some tidbits I didn't include in my synopsis of our past that might be helpful (or just things I found amusing):
- Angela has known Mike for the same amount of time that she has known me.
- When we broke up the last time, Angela told me that she has had a crush on Mike since the 7th grade.
- At one point, Chris suspected Angela of cheating on him with Mike, although it was false (just kind of a flirty nature).
- Angela has always been a romantic. Reads romance novels like a fiend and is a Twilight fanatic. (By the way, Angela is 17. Bella Swan's not too far away...)
- When we first started our "supposed to be perfect" post-Chris relationship, she confessed to me that she had thoughts of wanting to marry me as well.
- Angela is moving in with Chris on her 18th birthday in February, and getting two jobs (Americorps, which is a during school program, and a job outside of school) to help pay for the apartment they will be sharing together.
- While she is engaged now, the wedding is going to be held 5 years from now, i.e. after college.
- Her wedding, as it is planned now, will take place at the same gazebo that her biological parents married. They are now divorced.
- Her parents have no knowledge of any of this.
So, readers, I pose to you this question. Is it okay for her to be engaged at 17? If not, should I say anything about it? Try to dissuade her? Or should I leave it for her to go through?
Part of me instinctively wants to reprimand her, not because of a "it should have been me" mentality (I no longer wish to be with her) but because I still feel that she's too young and the relationship hasn't gone on long enough. However, after seeing that she will have many years before actually tying the knot, I realize that she will have a decent amount of time to think things over. I guess I'm pretty conflicted. Thoughts?
Comments (102)
I'm engaged and going to be 17 next month[But we are very mature for our ages and know what we want/have it planned out]. We are getting married next year but we have known each other for four years soooo this is kind of odd. She seem the kind to just want to get married but I would just wait and see what happens. Five years is a LONG time.
Also, she is moving in with Chris
What
@navyylovee@xanga - Agreed.