Every day, I finish another game with the same storyline - save the princess, live happily ever after until the sequel comes out. But, being a female gamer and thus self rescuing, I'm stuck in a different situation.
My quests always get me into trouble, and you can bet your bottom dollar that my Geeklover will come riding in on his epic mount to come "save" me. Do I really need his help to continue on my way? No. But I like his help.
This gamer girl truth has crossed over into my real life too. I've always been very independent, and while something may take me a bit more time to complete, I've always finished what I've started. Now that my soul mate has entered my life, I'm just a bit confused as to where chivalry ends and knight in shining armor begins. When I see the line get crossed, how do I tell him to stop fighting my battles for me?
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How? Say it to his face.
You just let him know that you appreciate his help, but you need to do things for yourself.
women don't need men. but we really like them. :) i'm not looking for someone to "save" me, but i like companionship and someone with whom to play smash bros.
Just tell him [: Tact is nice. Haha. Just tell him how you're independent and how it feels weird that he's trying to fill in that rescuer position [;
I'd personally like to see that video game: about a princess who rescues herself.
Tell him to stop fighting your battles for you, snap his neck, take his sword and storm the castle by yourself.
That is why men constantly try to take the rescuer position, because women keep letting them do it by acting all meek and fragile. Women need to take the sword dammit.
Then again, I'm no expert on heterosexual relationships, I just know what I dislike about them..
-Kunoichi
Hmm, nicely put. You probably just want to let him know when you'd rather fight your battle solo. I am sure he just wants to be there for you. I wouldn't bring it up out of no where, but politely ask him to let you handle it when a battle arises. Also remind him that fighting together is a lot more fun than standing on the sidelines watching him fight.
@sosunday@xanga - I agree with this guy. If you wanna do something by yourself, just tell him. But haven't you ever seen those kick-butt duos of fighters that are also lovers? They know they each can take care of themselves, but they're always there for eachother to provide back-up or just share the fun of battle.
Tell him nicely. Let him know how you feel.
You should stop wearing pig tails. You're too old.
That being said, if he knows you at all, he'll know to let you fight for yourself.
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - Ditto.
I like games where the heroine is a girl, same with books too.
@mynameisblueskye@xanga - I definitely agree, that'd be a fun game and it'd be something that hasn't been done a ton.
Here's the balance: You don't NEED him, but you sure do LIKE him. Be independent enough so that you could live on your own and be your own person - but acknowledge from time to time that he can do things for you and that you like having him around. Every now and again - it's really nice to be taken care of.
Um... doesn't chivalry normally mean "knight in Shining Armor"? Seeing as how Knights were the ones considered Chivalrous?
Anyways, yeah, most RPGs deal with rescuing a pretty girl, nothing gives a guy more satisfaction than the gratitude of a pretty lady, as for the games, maybe you're looking too much into it. Either that or just stick to FF X 2. It's got girls rescuing guys (or something to that effect).
When it comes to real life, I think this whole "independent woman" thing is starting to break the foundations of what used to be considered the "postcard family". This whole "independence" thing has left women just that. Independent. To put it frankly, they just don't need men anymore. This is why guys cheat. They have to be needed, that's how the prehistoric family was formed in the first place.
I'm not saying that we should suppress women or take away rights or anything, I'm saying use your head a little when you're being "independent". If you want to be serious, you have to be willing to make some adjustments, as guys do too (Or rather SHOULD, but I know many who don't). You have to "need" your man, plain and simple. If you want a lay, go hit a male brothel or something.
Now in your case, I guess if you can't help it, tell him that you can handle it yourself, but be absolutely sure to give him a light kiss and say "thanks for offering" or "it was sweet of you to want to help" something like that, you have to let him know that it's appreciated, and that if you really can't do it, you need him to be there to do it.
Hope that helps.
www.onykysho.com
Wow! You must be the really independent women, who thinks men helping you makes you feel incapable or helpless. In any case, your "soulmate" is only helping you because he cares about you. I think your SO just cares about you and wants to help you; in another sense, he's pampering you. In my case, I'm in between independence and dependence, so I gladly accept my bf's help. Plus, it's sweet when he's trying to help b/c I know he cares.
Honestly, if you don't need/want any help from your SO and you feel you can do everything by yourself, then you wouldn't need a "soulmate" in the first place. I think it's best to try and appreciate the things you have than regretting it later when it's gone.
Honestly, (completely cliche I'm sorry) you have to just tell him how you feel. I think that you like him a lot, but don't necessarily need him. Maybe you should tell him that in a nice way.
p.s. I %#$ing HATE Princess Peach. I mean Mario seems like a nice, sweet guy. He goes through all this crap to save the princess. This bitch ALWAYS seems to get herself kidnapped buy some big ass spikey turtle just to piss everyone off. You're a princess...where are your knights? Where is your moat? Are you really that helpless?
and Bowser....find someone else to steal..what benefit do you get from this squeaky-voiced nuisance? Mario always kicks your ass in the end anyway
jeeze!
I completely understand what you mean about wanting to keep your whole independence and whatnot in the relationship. however, I think if you never let them do anything, it makes them feel a little bit less of a man. so for your mans sake, let him save you sometimes.
I just want to say I've been through this with my ex girlfriend. We used to play FFXI together. I understand that you sometimes want to do things yourself, which is normal. Just remember to say it in a way that doesnt hurt your bf. There are some guys who genuinely want to help their girlfriends, and love the feeling of helping them.
So as someone else stated above, give him a little kiss, or some reassurance that just cause you want to do some things yourself that you don't need him in your life.
Don't do it! You will symbolically emasculate him. He will be hurt and if you keep it up he will lose interest and find someone he can protect.