Is It All Just A Matter Of Semantics?

Thursday, 09 July 2009

Is It All Just A Matter Of Semantics?
I'm dating a new guy; let's call him D, and yesterday we've talked about dating exclusively.
I just told him that I'm not dating anyone else other than him at the moment and he said it was the same for him. Then he asked: "do you want to be exclusive?" I thought about it for two whole seconds and said: "okay!"

For the sake of my possible confusion, answers please? I don't want to introduce him as my boyfriend and scare the crap out of him if he didn't think about me on the same wavelength. I should have asked him but I thought it might have been too juvenile (hahaha).

My question is relatively simple... Is dating exclusively mean we're "boyfriend" and "girlfriend?"

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I would say yes, exclusivity would imply a boyfriend/girlfriend title on the relationship.
- 7/9/2009 6:11 PM
- scrapbook_romance (message)
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No, it means you're brother and sister.
- 7/9/2009 6:11 PM
- ViciousGrin63@xanga (message)
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I don't know about the "exclusive" part, but when I was dating, we weren't bf/gf.
- 7/9/2009 6:14 PM
- Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga (message)
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@ViciousGrin63@xanga - Awesomest answer ever.
- 7/9/2009 6:19 PM
- storiesandsinker@xanga (message)
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If it's exclusive for both of you, I'd say yes, he's your boyfriend now.
- 7/9/2009 6:21 PM
- mlj1981 (message)
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its pre-bf/gf stage. Where if you messed around with another person it would be frowned upon as shady but not technically together. Though to be honest this stage doesn't last long.
- 7/9/2009 6:22 PM
- dreamerboi23@xanga (message)
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You can introduce him as your boyfriend. Or you can try something like "A guy I am currently sleeping with exclusively". I would also offer "Fuck-buddy" but since you are exclusive after all, it won't work. I think that term only applies to someone who is not there yet.
- 7/9/2009 6:22 PM
- LonerB@xanga (message)
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Yes.
This all must be "new" to me because in my teen years, whenever I was dating someone and vice versa, we were automatically "exclusive" and considered "boyfriend and girlfriend."
- 7/9/2009 6:22 PM
- jeezshoua@xanga (message)
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Eh.
Guys are funny creatures. I was dating a guy for three months and when he brought up how "I would define us" he said that we would call it "dating." But we are now boyfriend and girlfriend. So don't force the labels too soon, just in case. If he's a nice guy, you guys'll have another semantics talk soon. Woooo semantics!
- 7/9/2009 6:40 PM
- Wait_by_Moonlight@xanga (message)
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i don't think "exclusive" has to mean boyfriend/girlfriend. the latter implies a commitment; the former just means you aren't interested in seeing anyone else and would like to see if you want a commitment.
- 7/9/2009 6:41 PM
- MissPixieGlitter@xanga (message)
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wait and see how he intruduces you or talk to him about it
- 7/9/2009 6:55 PM
- darkjim18@xanga (message)
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just introduce him as your 'boy'.
- 7/9/2009 7:21 PM
- xDark_horizonx@xanga (message)
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If you're really concerned, ask him.
"So, does this mean I can call you my boyfriend now? *wink*"
Worst case is you get your answer and there's an awkward silence for 5 minutes.
- 7/9/2009 7:58 PM
- Viserys@xanga (message)
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Technically, but if you're that worried about it, don't call him your boyfriend until he's introduced you as his girlfriend.
- 7/9/2009 8:04 PM
- angelwingfive@xanga (message)
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yup, for sure !
- 7/9/2009 8:16 PM
- rozanna_b@xanga (message)
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Ask him. Why are you asking us, dummy?
- 7/9/2009 8:56 PM
- coolmonkey@xanga (message)
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@Viserys@xanga - hit this right on the head.@coolmonkey@xanga - also hit this right on the head.
- 7/9/2009 9:04 PM
- xpialadocious@xanga (message)
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I'd probably make a joke out of asking him - like say "so, can I call you my boyfriend now?" with a huge grin on my face and if he reacts badly then you just laugh it off. If he says yes, then there's your answer!
- 7/9/2009 9:08 PM
- TheLoveMuse@xanga (message)
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@jeezshoua@xanga - that's how i thought it was. i never "dated" someone that wasn't my boyfriend...
xo
- 7/9/2009 9:12 PM
- JessxMaxine@xanga (message)
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now he is your sex slave., so introduce him accordingly.
- 7/9/2009 9:15 PM
- atmaster@xanga (message)
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@JessxMaxine@xanga - Same here.
- 7/9/2009 9:33 PM
- aiinos@xanga (message)
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Yes and no. My two friends were dating exclusively for six months before actually making it official [as in boy/girlfriend]]. Yet the definition varies from person to person.
- 7/9/2009 9:36 PM
- depp_and_meaningful@xanga (message)
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@atmaster@xanga - awesome answer.

why are you asking us. we aren't "dating" you. go ask him.
- 7/9/2009 10:49 PM
- turnyalightsdownlow@xanga (message)
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Talk to him about what you are calling one another. Trust me, talking to him about it is soooo much better than assuming anything. I didn't talk to my guy about it in my last relationship so I never called him my bf and I never knew how to refer to him when talking to other people. I also never knew what he called me, until one night one of his buddies called me his girlfriend and, since we'd never discussed it, it totally threw me!
Or you could just do what @atmaster@xanga - suggests. Fucking awesome, btw.
- 7/9/2009 11:03 PM
- becksue@xanga (message)
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In my opinion, being exclusive should mean that you are boyfriend and girlfriend, but people have varying opinions on the matter so the solution would be...
talk to him.
- 7/10/2009 2:54 AM
- Peaches__13@xanga (message)
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