Thursday, 09 July 2009

• Why Don't I Feel Guilty?

  I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years.  Our relationship is like any other, with ups and downs; we argue, we make up.  We also have a child together.  My biggest problem is that our sex life is nonexistent. We barely have sex once or twice a month if I'm lucky. Other people who I've told about our problem have pretty much all come to the same conclusion: he's cheating.  In the beginning I refused to believe that, but after a while some things came up and I too have come to the same conclusion. 

  Needless to say, I began getting "serviced" elsewhere. One of my biggest problems with that is I don't feel guilty.  I ask myself all the time is why don't I feel guilty.  I do LOVE my boyfriend with all me heart, I don't want any emotional connection with my "servicer" - it's just sex.  It's not like I don't discuss my needs with my boyfriend.  Just how much more can I beat a dead horse? From the time I was pregnant until after I gave birth we had sex ONCE.  That was two years ago; since then we've had sex like 6-7 times a year.  I've hung in there with him, I've tried to be faithful, but I just can't do it anymore.  He drove me to cheat.

  Once a cheater, always a cheater? I hope not!  I want to be married to my boyfriend; we just need to fix this kink in our realtinoship.  If he's cheated, now I've cheated, we are even. I think? I'm not even sure if he's cheated, it's just speculations (with probable cause) on my part..  Please, people let me know what you think. Am I wrong?

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