Thursday, 09 July 2009
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I'm Doing Horrible Things In His Dreams
My ex-boyfriend was telling me the other day that he was having a lot of bad dreams about me. I guess that would really be a nightmare....but anyway, he was telling me about these dreams. I mean, I guess they weren't that bad, but to him, it was HELL. He didn't give me specifics but he told me that each of them involved me doing something sexual with another male. Either that, or leaving him for another male to do something sexual. He's thinking that they're a "sign" or something. I assure him that they aren't signs for anything, I mean, I'm definitely not getting sexually involved with anyone. I'm not "crushing" or anything. I don't even think anyone is cute. Basically, I really don't understand what they could be a sign of.But then I got to thinking. My ex and I had been dating for, like, 7 months when I had a couple of dreams about him and one of his really close female friends. I only had two of them, and at the time, they were "oh haha, that would be crazy" kinda things. Both of them dealt with my ex and his friend being together behind my back. [In each of them, she got beat down.] But about a year into our relationship, he cheated on me. With her.
When I first found it, it was a year after it happened, and both of them were all "I'm a different person" blah blah. But either way, it happened. And at the time, the dream thing didn't register to me. But when my ex told me about all the dreams he was having, I started thinking and remembered....and my dreams pretty much foretold the future.
Now I'm saying, do his dreams mean something? Are they foretelling something about me that I know nothing about yet? What if only MY dreams mean something? Have you had any dreams about your SO that came true later on? Has your SO told you about any nightmares he/she's had about you that have come true/not came true?
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- From: discoxapples
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Comments (77)
Superstitious.
I think they're just his own insecurities thinking that he isn't good enough.
Just make sure he knows you really do love him. Hope things go okay. :)
@musicforyourmom@xanga - agreed, it's his insecurities, maybe he's bi and he's actually dreaming of the other guy with you as a cover 0_o ! Gasp!
I think dreams are just dreams. I don't read into them at all.
I hope you don't let this get in the way of your relationship. If you're always so cautious in a relationship, i don't see it going very far. You know yourself more than anyone else knows you, so don't let some petty dreams interfere with your feelings for each other.
hm... that's pretty interesting. but i don't think you should base your dreams of your ex and the outcome of that on your relationship with your current boyfriend. for example, you dreamed of your ex with a specific girl... it was probably something you were consciously worried about at the time being since you were afraid that it was a possibility. then by chance, it ended up being true. but in the case of your boyfriend, who (from reading this) dreams of you with other ANONYMOUS guys, it shouldn't mean anything. anyway, i agree with the comment about mine. you know yourself best, so don't let his perception of you (conscious or subconscious) affect the way you think about your relationship with him.
I think they're just his subconscious forcing a scenario of his fear into his brain while he's sleeping. You just happened to be correct about your fears. Honestly, I don't think dreams really mean anything, mostly because mine are just so outrageous and insane that they can't mean anything. However, that's just my own opinion.
@GiantUnicorn@xanga - totally agree
my ex had a dream about me cheating on him and that never took place. Actually- it was the complete opposite.
HE cheated on ME.
so maybe, his dream means he is going to be doing something sexual.
plus his is your ex-boyfriend, so technically you wouldn't be leaving him for another guy.
Dreams do not foretell the future. True, a few of your dreams may come true --but have you forgotten about the huge number of dreams you have that don't?
if it's the same ex you're talking about in this entry, maybe his conscience is punishing him for cheating on you
otherwise, maybe watching you with other guys turns him on subconsciously. you never know
call them what you want.
in the end dreams are your brain's way of organizing recent and old memories. moving new ones that are getting used a lot up to the front and older ones not so much used, to the back. bring up old ones (like exes) to the front and HEY look at that, dreams.
think of it like defragging a computer.
No way. I have terrible dreams about my boyfriend, but he's nothing short of perfect in real life. What my issue is, my ex cheated on me, and treated me badly. So, subconsciously, I'm worried that it will happen again. Even though chances are, it really won't. So I wouldn't be too worried either. Just calm him down and tell him he's your one and only :)
@backward_glance - makes an excellent point. we tend to focus on the slim rare occurances and blow them out of proportion instead of looking at how bad we really are at predicting things (like the weather...well at least in my city) on a frequent basis.
I wouldn't worry about it, he might even be making the whole thing up for whatever twisted reason. OR maybe he's having these dreams because he just wants to sleep with you.
My ex told me that he had a nightmare once where I cheated on him and left him for another man. I told him that would never happen because one) I'm not the cheating type and 2) I would never do something like that to him in a million years. Dreams are just dreams sometimes.
@GiantUnicorn@xanga - I second that. Superstitious.
I made a hundred or thousand dreams about me screwing my ex's best friend (I still have those dreams, it's repetitious and same scenario place and all). It never happened and it won't happen 'cause it's been 3 years I haven't seen that chick. Get over it, dreams are dreams. Even Freud can't really help you on this one. People writes books and theories about dreams but seriously, are you going to believe that?
my bf dreamt of me having sex with a guy one night, the same night which i did
I have had dreams that turned out to be premonitions before, but usually it was just a conversation I would have with someone. Otherwise, dreams are just thoughts. Memories. Fears and desires. Thoughts that come to the surface when you sleep. Also what someone said above, old memories moving to the back and new memories combining to make dreams. My boyfriend sometimes has nightmares of me doing things that a lot of his exes did, even though I never would because I love him to death.
Just because he dreamed it doesn't mean it will come true. You said that you had dreamed about him and this girl 7 months into the relationship, then 5 months later you found out that he had cheated on you with the same girl almost a year prior. So maybe it wasn't a prediction, but an idea brought to the surface that you already knew to be true. If not, then either you just knew something from seeing them around eachother or something or it was just coincidence. As for him, well, he's your ex now. So how can you leave him for some other guy for something sexual when you're not even together? And even if you did find another guy you did sexual stuff with what does it matter to him? He has no claim over you and if he thinks he does then you need to set him straight that you are not property.
my bf is the same
It's not that unlikely that you'll be doing sexual things with other guys in the future.
And besides, they're HIS dreams, not yours, so it really doesn't benefit you to analyse them, as it isn't YOUR subconscious trying to tell you anything.
Basically it's just his own insecurities being brought up in the dreams. And by telling you its kind of strange-kind of manipulative, like 'don't get with anyone else yet it will devastate me! I'm having NITEMARES about it.' Boo hoo. Leave your analysing to your own dreams, that's actually worth your time (some of the time:P) Anyway, he deserves the nitemares, the cheating scumbag!
I used to have dreams of this guy that I used to like. He was a dick. My dreams came true!!
no, they don't mean anything. i'm sure your dreams were just coincidence.
i've had dreams where my boyfriend has been a complete asshole and left me for the most insane and silly reasons, and he's had a few of the same dreams. it's mostly just because you feel insecure. your ex is probably sad that you guys broke up, and is fearing you have moved on. you were probably weary of this girl, or just having perfectly normal fears (like my boyfriend and i had).
dreams are just dreams. they normally don't mean anything.
@cherry_tequila@xanga - i agree with you that he's talking about his dreams in a manipulative manner. it's not fair of him, and really shows his character.
@cherry_tequila@xanga - @PenaltyLife@xanga - Agreed.
Firstly, he deserves his insecure dreams so he can get a taste of his own medicine.
Second, it doesn't matter what his dreams are because you're not dating! You can do whatever you want with whomever you want.
Third, your dreams might have held some truth, not because you're psychic, but because some things he had been doing may have been giving you the idea that he might cheat. I think dreams do try to tell us things that we really feel but don't want to consciously admit. Sometimes. Sometimes they are just an outlet for our insecurities, and sometimes they're just a crazy mish-mash of all our recent thoughts that don't mean anything in particular. It's all up to you how to interpret them, but most of the time don't take them too seriously.
He's your ex...does it really matter if you leave him? I mean you've already "left" him, right?