Tuesday, 07 July 2009

• Innocence For Sale

  

  www.thenewgoodnightkiss.com

  I stumbled upon Sharlene's Azam book and documentry Oral Sex is the New Goodnight kiss, from a different blog. It's a documentary about white, high school girls aged 13, 14, 15, and sometimes even younger having sex for money so they could go shopping or for free drugs. From what I saw about the documentary and book, it shows how younger girls, generation Girls Gone Wild-come home, as the author put it, don't view oral sex as a big deal. They figure that if they're going to give oral sex anyway, then they should receive some sort of payment. There are other girls who claim they're too good for that but they'll help you find girls who aren't, These girls recruit girls, usually younger,  that hire "their friends" and bring them to different men's houses for sexual favors in exchange for free weed or money.

  These are girls who are 11 or 12 who can sell their virginity for $1000 or more, the author points out. "Blondes get paid more".

  The author has been on the View, Good Morning America, and some other shows, but I thought this story she talked about on the View was intense. "Well, this is how it starts, a group of 10th grade boys approached 8th grade popular girls and, on a dare, asked them to have sex with some college buddies. Every day they would cross this field and go have sex with these college boys for $20 and then be back for English class". 

  

  These are well-to-do girls, in regular suburbs, regular high schools. It's doesn't have anything to do with self-esteem or poverty - It's their perception of sex.  You could blame the parents, but anyone whose been a teenager knows it's not the hardest thing to pull one over on even the most strictest of parents. Hanging out with friends - pretty much the all end of questions or speculations.  Our culture is to blame more than our parents.  The way an 11 year old might babysit for $6 an hour, now she can give blowjobs or take off her top for $20 or more. Oral sex isn't viewed as sex; in one of the videos I watched a girl say that oral sex just didn't take up as much room as sex so it was easier.  This is their mindset.

  This is our culture, our toxic culture.

  Little girls don't see Barbies as being as beautiful as the big lipped well endowed Bratz sexpot dolls. Sex sells; the age at which it sells is starting to become devastatingly low. 

  It's easy if it's adults, an artist or actress doesn't really hit it big until they do a naked or near naked Rolling Stones Cover. Cosmopolitan Magazine always posts sex tips or new sex positions or what to pack to glam up after a rough night of drunken sex. I remember coming across one of my mother's Glamour Magazines and it had a sex survey; I thought that I would get in so much trouble if someone saw the raunchy words I was reading. Cosmo does a survey every year rated by men, and unless you could count What's the sexiest thing a girl could say during sex (Moaning or saying my name tied for first) tasteful or useful I'm not sure the positives outweigh the negatives. They're fun, for adults, for college girls, or I thought teenagers up to this point. But anyone can read them; the same way every little boy remembers stumbling upon his father's Playboy, raunchy behavior is everywhere, even for magazines designed especially for young teens.  These excerpts from magazines made specifically for that tween demographic that had rules and steps for oral sex.  These our girls under 13!

  

  The author said that girls wanted to be unattached like boys. They want to have control or a sense of independence. I can't really knock this part. I think every girl has gone through that phase when she thought she could play like the boys relationship-wise. My mom used to tell me that you can't do the same things boys do because people will talk and you'll feel the repercussions more than boys. I stopped before I got ahead of myself; she was right, so right.  These girls aren't gaining independence; they're losing it, they're losing self-worth.  They're losing a feeling of innocence that they'll miss someday down the road.

  Sharlene Azam spent four years learning about these girls' sex lives. Middle school children have sex lives, and not just that: they have scandalous sex lives that even Cosmo couldn't touch. She got these girls to open up to her and I'm not sure how, but I give her a lot of credit for unraveling something so tightly wound up.

  

  How our children viewing sex? Where has the importance or at least anxiety of our first time gone?  Are the parents to blame or is it our culture?  More importantly, how much more horrendous could this get?

  

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