When I went into work this morning, I found out that a husband of my coworker had died suddenly over the weekend of an aneurysm. They had been together since they were in high school, and he was 46 years old. I had never met him, but I had often heard her speak of him. She always smiled when she said his name, and always giggled like a teenager.
Obviously, they were very much in love and had a happy marriage. Now, apparently, she's lost and a mess over the whole situation. This is something you can't prepare for. You never know when it's your last day with someone. I started to think about my own life and my fiancée and my family and everyone else that I care about. I began to think about the pain and heartache I would feel if that had happened to me.
But it also struck hard that one day it will happen to me. I will lose someone I love and there is nothing that can be done about it. It's inevitable. I feel personally that the good times and moments I've had with my loved one s will make it worth it for me in the end when it's over, but what about others out there? Is there anyone who feels like getting attached and falling in love isn't worth it because nothing is forever? Or do we all pretty much agree that's it's better to love and lose then to have never loved at all?
Comments (42)
Depends on how many times you're burned leading up to the great "I Do," I think. I believe those who get hurt more are less apt to tie the knot. As for me ... I would rather take the risk, knowing that eventually I will "lose" the love of my life, through death. But - I'm not there yet. Right now marriage terrifies me - and the thought of it ending is one of the main reasons. I'm pretty sure that eventually I will not feel this way, though. But for now... it's fine.
My boyfriend is worth whatever pain.
Sometimes it's worth it, other times it's not.
Love and pain is better than no love at all.
sometimes, it's better to not think about "what ifs, ands, or buts", just enjoy the time you have now together.
Well, think of it this way... Of course nothing is forever, but doesn't that make your time together that much more precious?
@SWEETxN0VEMBER@xanga - exactly. Great sentiments.
This is key, I think, and it's also one way to survive/endure long distance relationships.
Nicely put :)
One might think something is better than the other. But the thing is, if it happens, it won't ask their permission. It'll just happen. it's not like you can say "Okay, heart and mind of mine! This is how we are going to do things from now on..."
Well, I guess you can say that but you'll get a hell of a lot of malicious laughter in response...
there is risk of getting hurt with no matter what you do in life. you'll fall and get back up again. and you may fall a few more times, it's just depends on how hard you will fall or much you invest and how much someone is worth the pain it will cause.
xo
We only have this moment. Right here. Right now. If we worry about the future too much this moment will pass you by and you will never be able to feel what you want until you realize it's too late. So just love the moment. The future is guaranteed to no one. So love and love big & damn the tomorrows!
All the little moments, all the big moments, all of the everything I have been so lucky to share with people in my life that I love & that love me . . . is worth every moment of agony I can imagine. Life without love is just existence, and not a very pleasant existence at that.
This is a strange direction for the event.
Not UNREALISTIC, mind you, but strange.
Just cause this is a familiar story for me; my mom died just over a year ago from an aneurysm [sp?] at 51, and this whole year has been really hell for my dad. He hasn't been able to get a job because of his age [let's be specific; he can't get a career going] and so he's basically slowly losing it at the house with no one to distact him.
But I don't think he ever saw it as a waste of time; with societies rate of failed marriages [and, in turn, failed love really] they were actually in love and its really kind of sad that while people waste their time/money in quick meaningless marriages [and I don't mean all marriages that end up in divorce were quick and/or meaningless], their time together was cut short by, what, an uncontrollable bleed in the brain? It's just not fair.
Feeling the feeling is fantastic, and yes, feeling THAT feeling is also pretty much hell on earth, but I think its better to get both ends of the spectrum then to have a perfectly neutral spectrum of feeling. What do you live for with that?
of course its worth it! i'm sure she wouldnt trade the years she got to spend with him for anything. we dont have control of the future and you cant change whats going to happen, but life will never put you through anything you can't handle. but its much better to spend time with the people you love then to keep yourself isolated in fear of getting hurt. what would be the point of life if we just hid ourselves from the world? you need love in life.
I rather experience the pain of loving and losing someone than not giving him the chance and wonder all the "what if" questions that could of had happened.
That would be a pretty sad and pathetic way to live - never getting close to anyone because of fear that they will disappear in one way or another.
We are made to love others and made to be around other people. We do not function well "alone".
I would never not want to get close to someone because of some kind of fear that I may lose them (well, I already know I will lose them at some point). It's definitely better to love (all kinds, not only romantic) and lose than to never love at all.
Being with my boyfriend is definitely worth any amount of pain.
its because of this fact that nothing is forever that makes things like love is family members and friends SO precious. because you only have a certain amount of time with them it makes the moments you do have with them all that more precious and valuable. otherwise you wouldnt really care about how you treated people or your life in general because you know itd always be there...
This is why you shouldnt think about the end and just enjoy the journey life is too short.
life and love and eveyrthing that had to do with it is amazing and yes it is sad that these amazing things dont last. but think would you cherish them just as much if they did??
Love survives even death.
..because it's just lovely holing yourself up if your house, intent on never loving another person or having anyone love you.
@IwontGoToKansas@xanga - At least until the one alive finds someone new. 8D
In all honesty, I think it's better to have never loved at all. I've liked some girls, but never did anything about it because I know that I'd get over it. And I did. Nothing lasts forever, what makes "love" any different? I see human beings as creatures who don't 'mate for life'. Humans are the type to seek out different partners once they lose interest. It's normal. But the whole marriage thing makes it feel as though the ring shared by both parties is forcing them into the relationship longer than any of them wants to.
Sure, your co-worker will be suffering for a long time, especially after a sudden loss of someone close to her. It's natural. However, there will come a time when she'll find someone new. If she wallows on that one person for the rest of her life, it will only make her miserable.
-Kunoichi
I think no matter what the circumstances.. we're willing to endure the pain as long as we have the love there. We know nothing lasts forever, yet we still pursue it because it makes us happy.. even if its just for a moment.
To not love at all just because of fear of loss is inconceivable to me. You might as well say, "Well, since I'm not going to live forever, what's the point of life?" Love takes your life and stretches it in every direction, bounces it like a ball, knocks it back and forth, turns it inside-out, and puts it in a spin-cycle. You never forget the ride, no matter what pain comes afterward, and it's always worth it.
I just began a relationship a few hours ago that I know will end with the summer (we'll be very far away in college). I feel like it's better to love and lose than to never have loved at all.
Basically, I take it from The Flaming Lips:
Do you realize,
that everyone you know someday
will die?
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes,
let them know you realize that life goes fast,
it's hard to make the good things last...
it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.