Miss AntelopePlease tell me that this has also happened to you. You know how sometimes when you dream at night you have several dreams? Well, I normally dream a lot but last night was out of the ordinary. Every dream I had was about my ex. What's strange is we broke up 10 months ago and I really almost never bring him up. The worst part was that these dreams replayed several episodes of our break-up. We had a really bad break up, so since then I've tried to erase him from my memory. Just as a refresher, here's a former
post about my ex. This morning I woke up feeling really disturbed because the dreams felt so real, they made me really uncomfortable. It put me in such a bad mood for the entire day. I've also dated people since the break-up so I'm confused with what my subconscious is trying to hint at.
Has this ever happened to you? What would you to prevent this from happening again? Why do you think it happened?
Comments (34)
I think your mind may be starting to reconcile some of the details of the break up. Or some new facts are coming to light - maybe you are realizing something about it / a truth you might have been turning a blind eye to has begun to show itself.
In anycase, you are still in the process of getting through things. Sometimes 10 months is not enough.
the saying shit happens is one that comes to mind when reading this. however while that is true, you have to remember that regardless of how long ago your breakup was, the imprint of said person will remain with you for a long time. dreams about a person you were in a serious relationship with are common. i broke up with my ex over a year ago (thank god) and still sometimes dream about her. what i do not fully remember. also there are things that can trigger memories. a smell, something that you guys did together. it will happen, less and less, but still it will hurt and not be fun. you just have to power through it. i usually just accept the dream and move on, try not to dwell on it. there is a reason the person is an ex and so a dream is just a dream so you just let it go.
I've still had dreams about a past serious relationship... I'm wondering exactly how long it has to be for this guy to STOP appearing in my dreams. Gets darn annoying, at times. You aren't alone....
I have been having dreams about my ex as well. i was at a stage where i was dating a female (stud) and it was horrible from the begining to the end of the relationship. i broke up with her. but recently and i mean real recently i have started having dreams about her like every dream i have she is in it and i find that so disturbing. NOW my thought wants to lean towards something happened to her thats why all of a sudden she pops up. I know for a fact before i was having these dreams she was not nowhere close to being on my mind. Even tho i dislike her ALOT i still hope everything is alright her way.
does anyone remember when datingish had coffee themed writers?
Yes. Nothing. Because.
That has happened to me, for sure. I mean, I repeatedly dream about this guy I haven't really been involved with for a year now, and I thought I'd forgotten about him and everything.
yes...i think maybe its because the way you two broke up really disturbs your emotions. there's probably nothing you can do to avoid dreaming about it... maybe what you can do is not to think about him too much. after all,its just a dream... and dont forget to wash your feet before going to bed.. :p
Sometimes dreams really are just random neurons firing in your brain. Once in a while, they fire in a way you wouldn't like them to.
its happened to me several times. I'm not a psychologist or anything so i'm not even going to try to explain why it happens because we'll never really know. I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years shortly after i turned 21, which was 4 years ago. just the other night i had a dream about that ex that we were hanging out and just randomly started kissing. it didn't go much further than that cuz i woke up. i've tried to put her in the past and she keeps popping up. i don't have feelings for her anymore, but her memory will always be there, so i guess all i can do is accept it and keep going on. you can't decide what you're going to dream about so you can't prevent it from happening, just try not to let it upset you.
dreams about your "ex" are the part of purgratory of life. how many times did that happen? and no one can understand it.
since i can remember in my dreams things going back 16 years, you should not feel as the one in the worst situation. waking up from those dreams is at least embarrassing. it's a regular part of life of people who care about others more about them than their checkbooks and bank accounts.
if "serious relationship" applies to anyone, i know i among the chosen ones. unfortunately, it required psychologist's attention. in my time, when i figured things were wrong, i chose a doctor who was the same gender as my other half. the funny thing was after a few months, the clueless doctor knew nothing and continued to get entangled into the gender stereotypes, making her client feel guilty from the very beginning. it had been not the case. you cannot blame one for petty flaws when the other side is guilty of years long duplicity and lies, but i never heard any admission of making a mistake from the doctor. she did not admit to any failure in the main assignment of improving the relationship.
never make that mistake. never put your well-being in the hands of the opposite gender professional. it takes a precedence to prove to me that some choices are not fair.
> Sometimes dreams really are just random neurons firing in your brain. Once in a while,
> they fire in a way you wouldn't like them to.
That's a great piece of neurological bullsh*t. Hope your neurons fire right all the way in a non-random way.
Wow, my friend woke up today from a bad dream. She said she screamed so much in her dream that her throat really hurted.
I've had nightmares but none too bad ...
Can't say I've had dreams about my ex like that...but right now for some reason, I am constantly dreaming and daydreaming about this guy I really really really really really like...he doesn't know I like him yet, but I can't get him out of my mind just as you can't get your ex out of your mind.
I've known of this guy for 2 years I guess, and I don't know why now all of a sudden he keeps popping in my mind, too, no matter what I'm doing. It's driving me nuts.
No one knows but my friend I talk to about these weird dreams/day dreams I have about him. :P
I've never thought about someone so much, ugh.
I had a similar dream last night. My ex and I are always happy in my dreams. Those kinds of dreams are haunting.
I remember my dreams a lot, too, and I often dream about my ex, who I dated for almost 4 years. The thing that strikes me about your post is that you said you've tried to "erase him from your memory"- sounds like you got him out of your conscious mind, but accidentally got him lodged in your UNconscious mind instead. Perhaps your dreams are your mind's way of trying to make sense of it, since maybe you didn't process it too much on a conscious level. All I can think is that maybe if you thought about it more, and tried to process through your feelings about him and the break-up, in your waking life, you wouldn't dream about him. Just a thought, can't hurt
I hear ya though, sometimes a bad dream will get me in a funk for the whole day. That's the negative thing about having a vivid imagination!
I have dreams like this too. If you don't want to heed the dream, don't, and go about your life as you do now. It doesn't have to mean anything if you don't want it to mean anything. It's hard to ignore, but if it goes against what you feel is right, take solace in the fact that it could possibly just be a random data-sorting activity that your brain went through last night.
I have those dreams all the time. My solution is to be completely exhausted before I finally go to sleep, and even then it doesn't always work.
@uhm_roar@xanga - Lol. Random, but yes.
And in response to the post: Your dreams are actually your mind's way of working out and dealing with the things that happen to you throughout the day. When you don't sleep for a long time the reason you'll start hallucinating is because your mind needs to dream to deal with everything that happens to you. (My reference for this fact is my mother who has an outdated bachelor's degree in psychology. Her master's is in English, so don't hold me to it.)
Anyway, my point is, you're probably having these dreams BECAUSE you're trying not to think about him or "bring him up." Your mind needs to deal with the break up to move on. I suggest you just go ahead and let yourself think about it. The sooner you deal with it, the sooner you can move on. I mean really move on.
I think it's normal to have dreams about an ex, even if you've tried your hardest to block them out of your conscious. It's someone that you really cared about and spent a lot of time with. Maybe because the break-up was so bad, it's still something that you subconsciously think about. I still have dreams about one of my ex's and we had a horrible break-up. We didn't end well and really haven't spoken to one another since we broke up almost 2 years ago.. so my dreams are never good when they are about him.
I'm not really into trying to read into dreams though since there are so many theories as to what causes a person to dream in the first place.
I've dreamt about my ex's for several times, but they were all about the happy times we had together or maybe sometimes we acted like strangers in my dreams. But who knows I might have dreams like yours in the future?
Well... my suggestion is trying to rest your head before going to bed, drink tea and listen to some slow and nice melodies :)Hope you'll dream of nice dreams soon!
I haven't broken up with my boyfriend (yet, at least) but I had such a bad dream that he sent me a text message telling me he's found another girl who has a kid (who's of course, gorgeous) and asked me to hang out with him and her. I couldn't believe the text and actually read it (in the dream) a couple of times....
and woke up sobbing my eyes out.
well if u want to interpret a dream go to Dreamcrowd.com
after my break up, i kept having dreams of my ex. even if we haven't seen eachother for so long, i kept having dreams of our relationship also... recently, we started talking again after several months. and then again i started having dreams about him again.. i'd try not to think about the dreams, and move on in life..
Perhaps it has to do with the fact that you tried to erase him from your memory. Now that it is ten months later, you aren't consciously working so hard to forget about him, so all the thoughts you have been repressing have been coming back. Perhaps your unconscious mind is telling you that it is time to think about what went wrong with the relationship so you don't make the same mistakes again.
This could also be related to something that is going on in your life now. Maybe you are in a situation that in a way reminds you of something that was going on when you with your boyfriend. The dream could be a way of telling you that you should use the lessons you learned in your relationship with your boyfriend to help you deal with the situation you are in now.